Poison & Wine
by thesecretsociety
Summary: Beca Mitchell has an older brother. He goes to Barden. He's the captain of the Basketball Varsity Team. He's a straight A student. And of course, he's hot. Yep, he's that perfect. Worse, he's got something that Beca desires more than anything in the world. (cover image courtesy of DarkWriterXX94)
1. Into The Wild

_Hello, everybody! :) So this is my FIRST ever fanfic story and I'm so excited to share it with you. Well, I love Pitch Perfect. Obviously. And I_'m _a BeChloe fan as you can see. I noticed nobody has ever written a fanfic with Beca having a perfect older brother yet so I thought I'd write about it. I just think the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars could totally sum up the BeChloe relationship._

_So before you start reading, here are some things I need to remind you first: (1) Beca's father is not a professor here, instead, he's a doctor and owns a hospital (2) Beca's brother is a senior in Barden and the captain of the Basketball Varsity Team and is somewhat popular (3) I don't really know anything about DJing so I decided not to include that part instead of making a fool of myself. I'm more of a songwriter, maybe that would work out instead._

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pitch Perfect.

* * *

CHAPTER ONE: **Into the Wild**

I hate Phil (my father). I hate my mom. I hate the stepmonster. I hate Barden. I hate everyone else and everything else.

That's it. The worst part of my life has officially started. I don't want to enroll here in Barden University. I don't want to be anywhere near Phil. But my mom insisted. She truly believes that with him around I could finally find a reason to mend the broken bond between us. I mean, how could I? He left us. He left us to be with another woman. All those times that I forced myself to believe he was spending all his time running the hospital, it turned out he was rather smitten by a certain Philosophy professor. And he chose her over my mom. He chose her over me. That is not something one can easily forgive and forget.

Fortunately for mom, she was able to move on and I think she has never been so happy with just me and her in the picture. When I was young I would often ask her how she does it and she would simply joke that husbands are replaceable. Unfortunately for me though, fathers are not, even if I want to.

So when Phil offered a room for me to stay in his house I packed my stuff and went straight to the university dormitory.

"Seriously, Beca," he deliberately pulls his hands out of his pockets and rests them upon his hips to assert his parental authority which I chose to brush off. "You don't need to stay here. There's plenty of room in the house."

"I'm good here, Phil."

Even with that parental authority constantly bugging me, I still refuse to call him 'dad' and I know that irritates him. To add more fuel to the fire, I absentmindedly scan through my playlist, putting on my headphones as a signal of disinterest towards the ongoing conversation.

"Stop acting like a child, will you?" Phil hisses at me, and I ignore him.

"Do you even like it here?" I saw him sneaked out a quick glance at my crazy Korean roommate, Kimmy Jin, who shot him a glare while doing whatever she was doing.

I flash my best sarcastic smile.

"Come on, Beca."

His voice almost pleading, I like that, but still I give him no further response. A few more minutes and my father finally shook his head, raising his hands in complete surrender.

"Okay," he says. "If this is what you really want then so be it. But I don't want you locking yourself here for the rest of the semester. Go out and participate."

I roll my eyes, "Sure."

When he walked out of the door thirteen years ago, I made sure he would lose his rights to have a say in whatever I do in my life, and that includes my decisions on how to live my college experience.

"I'm going to the activities fair," Kimmy Jim announces.

I took this opportunity to run away from Phil, brisk walking towards the door, trailing behind my roommate.

"Yeah, me too. I'm going to the activities fair with my super good friend Kimmy Jin."

With that, I closed the door behind me leaving my father on his own. I ignored the fact that Kimmy Jin threw a death glare at me. I ignored the fact that my father called out my name probably to delay my departure. It was no big of a deal, but I like the idea of leaving him when he wants me to stay. I want him to feel even in the slightest manner the way I felt when I was practically begging him not to go thirteen years ago.

* * *

"Now what?" I mutter to myself. Of course, Kimmy Jin will never let me tag along with her friends. I shrug at the idea of it. I find myself looking around for something interesting but to no avail, until I find this big fat blondie doing some kind of weird mermaid dancing on the ground. I let myself chuckle at the sight of it. More crazy people in Barden. Good.

I walk towards the booth as the blonde girl left and I am immediately met by a tall blonde girl in a pink dress and a redhead.

"Hi. Any interest in auditioning for the Bellas?" the redhead holds up a flyer to me.

I quietly take the paper from her as she goes on and on about the a cappella universe. I listen to her with faint interest. This is not what I want to do. I'm going to L.A. and make some music whether Phil likes it or not. There is no way I'm going to stay here at Barden and do this a capella crap.

"So what do you think?"

The redhead is now grinning at me, apparently waiting for my reply. Wow, she probably is the happiest looking person I have ever seen in my life so far.

"I'm sorry but I don't even sing," I tell her and walk away.

* * *

Luke places a box of CDs on top of the table, "Alright, you two can start stacking CDs now."

"But Luke," I protest.

"No, kiddo. Freshmen not allowed inside the booth. No exception."

Luke goes back to the radio booth leaving me with this other intern whose name I forgot to stack CDs.

I hear him chuckle, "You know him?"

"He's a friend of my brother," I grab a CD, defeated.

"Does your brother work here too?"

"Nope. He's a student too, but he practically knows everyone in Barden or most of the time, I guess it's the other way around."

"He must be some cool guy then."

I nod my head absentmindedly.

"I'm Jesse, by the way."

I turn to my side. The guy is smiling at me, his right hand hanging in the air waiting for my hand to shake it, but instead, I go back to stacking CDs.

"Beca."

He laughs, "You don't talk much, do you?"

A sarcastic smile is my only response.

"Looks like I'm going to need to teach you how to have some fun."

"Good luck to that."

* * *

_"You shout it out,  
__But I can't hear a word you say  
__I'm talking loud not saying much  
__I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet  
__You shoot me down, but I get up_

_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
__Fire away, fire away  
__Ricochet, you take your aim-_"

"You can sing!"

I turn around abruptly at the sound of another person's voice behind me to find a certain redhead had barged into my shower, "Dude!"

That's it. Barden is full of crazy people.

* * *

The door flings open revealing my older brother with a box of pizza on his hand. Stan smirks at me and I roll my eyes, closing my laptop to stand and wait for him to come in. In the corner of my eye, I see Kimmy Jin looking so pissed about this surprise visit.

"Beca!"

He smolders me into a playful tight embrace knowing so well that this would annoy me more. I desperately push his muscular athletic body from my tiny one.

"What are you doing here?"

"What? Can't a guy pay a visit to his little sister without the third degree?"

I roll my eyes.

"I'm going to a friend's," my roommate rises from her seat and heads to the door. "This is really inconvenient, Beca."

Kimmy Jim made sure to leave us with a generous amount of death glare before closing the door. Stan and I exchange looks and shrug. He places the box of pizza on my desk before settling down on my bed.

"I still can't believe you've been hanging out with Luke while this is the first time that I get to see you since you came here to Barden," Stan pulls off his best upset face.

"I was hoping he'd let me play on the booth," I find a room next to Stan on the bed. "Instead, he's making me stack CDs."

My brother chuckles.

"Which reminds me," he narrows his eyes on me. "Tell me about_ the_ guy."

"What guy?"

"The other intern."

I scoff, "Jesse?"

"So that's his name," he nods his head. "Tell me about your boyfriend, come on."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"It's just a matter of time before he asks you out. He is an idiot if he doesn't realize how hot you are."

I have to laugh at my brother's remark.

"Did you just call me 'hot'?"

"I'm your brother. It's completely mandatory for me to say nice things about you even if they are not true."

He flashes a smirk on his face and so I throw a playful punch to his arm. I should have known better because that prompted him to tickle me on the ribs. God knows how ticklish I am. I try to jump out of bed and get away from him, but Stan traps me. This is one of the few moments that I can truly say that I feel happy. Right here in my brother's arms, I have never felt this safe. He has always been my companion, my best friend, my very own knight in shining armor. However, when our parents decided to divorce, they stupidly agreed to split the custody. I stayed with mom while Stan left with our father. It only made me hate the man more, for taking away my brother, my only source of real happiness when the rest of my world suddenly turned black.

Yeah, we exchange calls, emails, all sorts of communication, but this has been the closest we've ever been in person. So later on when Stan said that he was happy to be with me again, I smiled at him and said, "I'm happy, too."

We started eating the pizza before it gets cold.

"So how's mom?" Stan suddenly asks. I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's been meaning to ask me that since he found out I'm coming to Barden.

"She's doing great," I assure him. "She's keeping herself busy with more projects coming in. I'm sure she'd be happy to have you for Thanksgiving."

He momentarily looks down to the floor possibly trying to absorb the idea of my offer. I patiently wait for his response, secretly hoping he'd say 'yes'.

"I'll see what I can do," he mutters.

And all I could do is to sigh, "Okay."

"Anyway," this is his attempt to change the topic. "Dad said you went to the activities fair. Found any group you want to join?"

I simply shake my head. The simple mention of 'dad' makes me sick.

"You can join the Barden Bellas."

I shoot him a look.

"What?" he shrugs. "In case you still haven't noticed, a cappella is a thing here."

I can't help but laugh.

"Coming from a basketball prodigy yourself, now that sounds so gay, Stan."

He rolls his eyes, "Whatever."

"Besides, people here are crazy."

I instantly remember that redhead who barged into my shower, bugging me to audition for the Bellas. I still can't believe I sang with her while we were both naked. But I have to admit, it was amazing. The redhead is really pretty, too. She has the most beautiful pair of eyes I have ever seen. She definitely hypnotized me into singing. Wait. What was her name again? Man, I sang with her naked but I never got her name. Stupid Beca.

Stan's voice suddenly brought me back from my thoughts.

"Hey, I need to go. I'll see you around?"

I nod, "Sure."

Before he opens the door, my brother turns around to face me once more giving me that concerned look in the process.

"You'll probably hate me for saying this but I think dad is right. You should go join a club. And if you ask me, I think the Barden Bellas is the right thing for you."

"I can't sing."

"You can, and you're good at it. I've heard you."

I shrug.

"That's the spirit," he raises his fist in a sarcastic victory pose. "Okay, I'm really going now. I love you, kiddo."

Stan flashes one last smile and disappears into the hallway.

* * *

Great, I'm late and everyone else is singing a song I didn't know we needed to prepare. Unfortunately, Red decided to leave that information out during our encounter. Wait, what? Did I just give her a nickname?

"_And all you'd ever hear me say  
__is how i picture me with you  
__that's all you'd ever hear me say_

_But since you've been gone  
__I can breathe for the first time  
__I'm so moving on  
__Yeah Yeah  
__Thanks to you  
__Now i get what i want  
__Since You've Been Gone_"

What am I even doing here? I don't want to be here. I'd rather stay in my room and indulge myself into the beauty of some real music. Stupid Stan for convincing me to come.

"_Since You've Been Gone  
__Since You've Been Gone_"

The last auditionee, that crazy fat blonde girl, took her seat and so I start to panic. I don't think this is a good idea anymore. I make my failed attempt to leave the auditorium, pretend this never happened, but for some world conspiracy, Red, I mean, the crazy redhead spotted me and wave for me to proceed with my audition. And I do.

I point to the yellow cup resting on the table. Red nods and so I reach for it. I sit comfortably on the stage floor and starts doing some kind of a musical pattern with the cup. Good thing I had lots of lazy afternoons to learn this trick from _YouTube_.

"_I got my ticket for the long way 'round  
__Two bottle 'a whiskey for the way  
__And I sure would like some sweet company  
__And I'm leaving tomorrow, wha-do-ya say?_

_When I'm gone  
__When I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me by my hair  
__You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_"

I finish my audition piece and wait for a response. The entire auditorium falls silent and I start to fear that I did terrible. But then I turn to Red and she already has that same cheeky smile plastered on her lips that, apparently, I have grown to like ever since that shower incident. I look at her and I know right away that everything is fine. The blonde girl sitting beside her doesn't look so amused though. But I don't care. Red likes my performance, and that's all that really matters to me.

* * *

"_I've been waiting on the sunset  
__Bills on my mindset  
__I can't deny they're getting high  
__Higher than my income  
__Incomes bread crumbs  
__I've been trying to survive_"

The singing voice of Andy Grammer blasted out the speakers signaling the start of the Aca-Initiation Party.

"I believe I haven't formally introduced myself yet."

Red stands in front of me, holding two red cups. She hands me over one and keep the other for herself.

"Apparently, you decided to skip that step when you barge into my shower," I mutter. "We were both completely naked, I might add."

Her chuckles sound like a beautiful melody in my head.

"I'm sorry. I was really desperate. I heard you singing and you're voice is aca-awesome, I just really needed to ask you to audition."

I nod my head understandingly.

"I'm Chloe," she extends her free hand. "Chloe Beale."

Finally, I can drop the 'Red' nickname now.

"Beca Mitchell. Call me 'Beca'."

I don't know why but I shook her hand. Her skin is so smooth, by the way. How much lotion does she put on to keep them that way?

"Mitchell," her eyes light up at the mention of my last name. "Another Mitchell at Barden, I see."

Stan. Of course, how can she not know my brother when he has his own _Wikipedia _page?

"I'm Stan's brother."

"Cool guy," she simply smiles. "And Dr. Sheila Mitchell was one of my favorite professors back in my freshman year."

I cringe at the mention of the name of the step-monster. I know Chloe saw the grimace on my face because then she sports this apologetic look on her face as she places a hand on my shoulder, her face dangerously too close to mine.

"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

I move back a little feeling a little uncomfortable with the short distance, but careful enough not to jerk her hand off my shoulder. I like her touch, I must admit.

"Are you always this touchy?" I wish I didn't say it loud enough because sadly, she automatically removes her hand off my shoulder, holding it up where I could see it.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," she quietly mumble. "This is just how I roll, you know."

"It's okay, Red," I assure her. Wait, what did I just blurt out?

Chloe has a smirk on her face, "You gave me a nickname, huh?"

Deep sigh.

With that she grins at me again and pushes herself forward, her face dangerously too close to mine again and whispers, "I think we're going to be fast friends."

"Well, you saw me naked so," and I give her a wink.

She giggles then suddenly burst into singing:

"_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,  
__And you can let your hair down, eh.  
__You gotta keep your head up, oh,  
__And you can let your hair down, eh._"

I find myself shaking my head, a smirk planted on my lips.

She chuckles, "I'll go get more drinks."

And just like that, my outlook in life starts to change. I still hate Phil. I still hate my mom. I still hate the stepmonster. But I think I've learned to like this whole Barden experience – all because of this one particular crazy girl with this electrifying red locks and the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I have ever seen. I guess, I can truly say that among all things I think I _like_ Chloe.

* * *

_Songs: (1) __Into the Wild (Chapter Title) - LP (2) __Titanium - David Guetta ft. Sia (3) __Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson (4) __Cups - Lulu and the Lampshades/Anna Kendrick (5) __Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer_

_So there goes the first chapter. I hope you guys like it. I'll be waiting for your reviews before I upload the next chapter.** I NEED to know somebody's reading it and actually like the story**. Thanks :)_


	2. Strange and Beautiful

_8 reviews and more than 500 views! Not bad! Thank you so much, guys :)) _

**_u r awesome:_**_ wow. i never thought it that way. you have motivated me a lot. thank you!_

**_AwesomeReviewer: _**_sorry, my bad. i guess i was torn between "I'm Stan's sister" and "Stan's my brother" so they probably got mixed up in the end. stupid brain! LOL_

**_to everybody else who left a review: _**_thank you! :)_

_Now the least I could do is share with you this next chapter. Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.

* * *

CHAPTER TWO: **Strange and Beautiful**

Aubrey "The Captain" Posen is a bitch, I decided. And it only took the first day of Bella rehearsal for me to convince myself that. First of all, her choice of music is pretty lame. This Bella tradition is pretty stupid. No wonder they never won at the International what-what A capella. Okay, I don't know what ICCA stands for exactly. And I do not have a 'toner' for Jesse. I just met the guy. Besides… I pause for a moment, and sigh.

"Besides what, Beca?" I mentally challenge myself.

I catch my eyes glued on Chloe. She is having a quiet conversation with The Captain who takes quick glances at me from time to time which I take as a giveaway that the two group leaders are talking about me. Of course, Aubrey is talking about shit and Chloe must be defending my guts. Yeah, that's what I hope the scenario is. But more than the thought of Chloe defending me against Aubrey, I find myself distracted by her mere beauty. Even after a stressful day, she still looks so cute and lovely. God, how does she do that? She can easily be mistaken for a Greek goddess. I stop myself again.

"Stop it, Beca," I mutter to myself. "You can't be thinking about her again."

But I am. I always am. Ever since that singing-naked-in-the-shower incident, I would always find myself thinking about this redhead. I don't know if it's healthy, let alone why. Somehow, I guess I'm just drawn to her. I don't think this has something to do with sexuality. This is not about it. I don't even like chicks, okay? I don't even like most people, but somehow, she manages to barge not only into my shower but also into my head. _Get out of my mind, Chloe Beale!_

Just when I proceed with cleaning up my thoughts, I hear Chloe's voice calling out my name. So I turn around and wait for her to catch up.

"Hey there," she gives me a generous smile when she finally stands in front of me.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

"What's with that look, Beca?"

"Aren't you supposed to be with your aca-bitch of a best friend, Red?"

She chuckles, probably because I said 'aca-bitch'. Either that or because I called her by the nickname I gave her.

"I'm sorry Aubrey gave you a hard time earlier."

"She doesn't like me, I get it."

"No, she just has some issues. It's not your fault."

I roll my eyes, "Right."

"Come on," Chloe takes my hand and starts dragging me with her.

"Um, where are we going?" I layer some hesitation on my voice, but I let her drag me anyway.

"I know a place. They got some really delicious desserts."

She didn't even ask me if I'm good to go, let alone if I eat desserts. I don't, by the way. I don't even get why most people get so crazy over them. But then, I'm sitting inside Chloe's car. I secure myself with the seat belt. Five minutes after, I'm ordering for a triple chocolate crepe. I glance from my food to find Chloe telling me random stories, her usual bright personality like sunshine evident on her face. I listen patiently to her stories until I was only staring. And that's when it hits me. Strange as it seems, there's nothing I wouldn't do for the beautiful Chloe Beale.

Chloe then surprises me by cutting off a chunk of my crepe and eat it. "Mmm. This is really good, Beca. Nice choice." _God, she looks so sexy._

I throw a look at her.

"And what makes you think you can just eat my food?"

"Oh maybe because I'm cute, and sexy, and utterly irresistible."

She wears a playful smile on her face as she digs into her parfait once again. I let myself chuckle because for one, egocentric Chloe is funny or at least it's what I think it is, and because I find her statement undeniably true.

Just when I start getting comfortable, Chloe leans in, her face just inches to mine. I feel like she wants me to look into her eyes and so that's what I do. I look into those blue orbs and hold my breath.

"You want to know a secret?" she whispers.

"Okay."

I force my eyes to avoid those kissable lips.

She leans her head forward, "I secretly want you… to say something about yourself."

With that, she laughs and leans back to her side of the couch. Finally, I can feel myself breathe again.

"You have no idea what personal space means, do you, Red?"

She sticks her tongue out, and I shake my head.

"Come on, Beca, tell me something about you."

"Why the sudden interest anyway?"

"I'm trying to convince myself that you're not some kind of a criminal."

I roll my eyes and she giggles. I guess I should roll my eyes more often just to hear her giggle.

"I'm not really good at introducing myself, you know. And in case you haven't figured it out yet, Red, I'm a socially awkward person."

"Oh I don't buy that crap."

I chuckle at her remark, and then sigh.

"Plus, I'm nothing interesting. I might just end up disappointing you with boring stuff."

I look down at what is left of my triple chocolate crepe. I don't want to disappoint Chloe. Ever. The thought of it makes me hate myself. I wish I'm as good as Stan. Everybody loves him. I wish I could tell Chloe stories about my non-existing friends, basketball, anything interesting. But I'm not Stan. I never make Phil proud of me. And I fear that I might end up disappointing Chloe just like how I constantly disappoint Phil Mitchell.

The redhead sitting across me in the booth probably noticed the sudden frown on my face because the next thing I hear from her is, "It's okay, Beca. You don't have to."

She smiles at me understandingly and so I figure a 'thank you' would be a nice response. More so, to save us from some awkward moment, Chloe proceeds with the highlights of her first year in Barden. I listen to her, feed her with few reactions, but more than that, I look at her face intently. I look at her face intently because I want to remember the face of the person who makes me feel happy and understood. It's a strange kind of feeling because the walls I built around me have deprived me of those emotions. It's strange that I'm feeling it now. It's strange that of all people, Chloe has done what many people thought would be impossible – to break the Great Beca Mitchell's walls and invade my very soul. But you want to know a secret? Chloe didn't even have to break the walls. I'm simply letting her in. Just like that.

* * *

"Beca, you're doing it wrong again."

Aubrey has been bugging me throughout the next Bella rehearsal. Apparently, I'm doing everything wrong.

"Right foot forward then turn," she instructs with actual demonstration. "Then 'confidence' then you proceed with 'the sign'."

I wipe the beads of sweat off my face and place my hands on my hips, "Yeah, that's what I've been doing, Aubrey."

"No, that's what you think you've been doing."

"You know what-"

"Aubrey, let me take it from here," Chloe cuts me off probably sensing that a fight may come up between me and The Captain.

Aubrey shoots me one last glare as Chloe pulls me to the side so she could help me catch up with the choreography without interrupting the rest of the group.

"Okay," she smiled. How can she smile at times like this? "So tell me where you're having difficulty at."

I simply stare at her. She is looking too cute on her grey shirt but too _hot_ as she pulls her hair across her shoulder to the front. When she tilts her head slightly to the side, I fight the urge to look at the exposed skin on her neck.

"Come on, Beca. Let me help you," she speaks softly.

And I let her. One word and I let her in.

"Really, I can do the turn."

"So what's the problem?" Chloe sounds so friendly and sincerely concerned when she asks the question while Aubrey always sounds like, well, a bitch.

"You know, with all the right to left movements, feet and hands moving at the same time, I just get confused when I get there, or maybe I tend to completely forget the steps."

She nods her head understandingly, "Why don't we do it slowly first?"

I shrug but follow as she starts counting. I move as she moves. Slowly, we perfectly executed the choreography.

"Now let's try it a little faster."

I nod and follow after her again. We did it.

"Now with music, from the top."

We both start singing, "_I saw the sign…_"

_Boom. _I messed up. But instead of bitching around like how Aubrey does, Chloe smiles at me encouragingly.

"That's alright. Let's do it again."

I try but only to fail.

"Fuck."

"Here," Chloe stands behind me and holds my hands. She directs them to their proper movement according to the choreography. Now instead of paying attention, my entire attention is focused on how close she is to me, her hands upon my hands, her vanilla scent – they are all intoxicating. I pretend like I don't enjoy it, like I don't give a shit, but God knows my heart is skipping a beat and butterflies are fluttering in my stomach.

"Take five, aca-bitches."

Aubrey announces and the other girls ran for their water bottles. Chloe finally let go of my hands and tells me that I should take a break, too. I watch as she heads towards Aubrey, secretly wishing that she would stay with me longer.

"I know that look," Fat Amy wraps her bulky arm around my shoulder and looks at me accusingly as we walk to my backpack.

"What look?"

She starts laughing. God, this girl is really weird.

"Do you know how I manage to get myself so many boyfriends?" she asks, nibbling on a piece of Chips Ahoy.

Are these guys fully aware and oriented that Amy's been referring to them as their boyfriends? Just curious, man.

"The thing is I've seen that look, Beca."

Again, I ask, "What look?"

"That look when you secretly like someone."

I quietly drink some water, ignoring her statement, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Boys always give me that look when I'm around. To save them from so much trouble, I just give them my number and problem solved."

I simply nod my head hoping that the conversation would end right then and there.

"Well, the real question is," Fat Amy continues. "Who is the receiver of that look?"

I nervously watch her plop onto one of the chairs, anxiously waiting if she has the answer to her question as well.

"If you ask me, I have an idea."

Fat Amy winks at me and I swear I got scared. I'm scared that her guess is right. And I'm scared that Chloe would probably find out.

* * *

After his basketball practice, Stan stayed for a little while in the gym and waited for me just as we planned. Back when we were kids, he has always been so obsessed with basketball. I was practically convinced that my brother breathes and sweats basketball. Phil has always adored his athletic capability so he set a basketball court in the old house for Stan to 'practice his game'. Sometimes, he would let me play with him. It was one of our bonding moments. And I'm glad that even after all these years he still lets me join him in his world.

"How's the Barden Bella experience? I heard you got in."

He dribbles the ball then jumps for a three-pointer. The ball goes straight to the basket. My brother then runs to get the ball back.

"And I hate you for convincing me."

He stands at the free throw line next to me and turns to give me that 'big brother' look.

"You're talented, Beca."

He hands over the basketball. I dribble it twice then shoot it. The ball goes right in. Stan runs to the ball again.

"The Captain is a bitch though," I shrug.

He laughs, "Aubrey? You don't want to mess with her, kiddo."

"You know Aubrey?" my eyes widen in surprise.

"Well," he shrugs as he dribbles the ball. "I met her more than a year ago."

"So is she always like that?"

"No. In fact, she's cool."

I scoff, "Can't imagine that."

Stan chuckles and shakes his head.

"One on one," he passes the ball to me. "Come on, kiddo."

I hold on to the ball.

"So what are we playing for?"

"If I win, you'd let me take you out for dinner," he grins at me, and I roll my eyes.

"If I win?" I ask as I position myself behind the free throw line.

"Anything you want. Name it."

"I need to borrow your car."

"Okay."

I take a deep breath, my eyes all focus on the basket, then throw the ball in the air and wait.

"Prepare your sorry ass, Stan."

_Basket._

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

I run towards the door, close it behind my unplanned visitor, and stare at her as I patiently wait for her response.

Chloe slowly nods her head mockingly, "Nice to see you too, Beca."

I shoot her a look.

"I'm supposed to pick you up. That's the plan, remember?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "I can't wait. Too excited."

I roll my eyes but deep inside I think my soul is doing some mermaid dancing. Chloe can't wait for our date. Well, one-sided date, actually. She doesn't know it's a date. She doesn't know I think it's a date. Last Thursday, I simply told her I need to unwind and asked her to come with me. I'm just glad she said 'yes'.

"You know, it doesn't help at all that you're keeping the destination a secret," she plops down to my bed. Normally, if you're not Stan, touch my sheets and I'll kill you. But of course, it's Chloe so she's another special exemption. "We can't call this a 'Beca and Chloe Saturday Getaway' if you're the only one planning the activities."

I raise an eyebrow at her, "Who's calling it 'Beca and Chloe Saturday Getaway'?"

"I do," she looks so proud.

"Of course," I tell her. "Just give me a minute then."

I open the refrigerator and load the picnic food into the picnic basket.

"You play?" Chloe's voice rings in my ear.

I turn to her direction, "What?"

Her magical blue eyes are glued on my acoustic guitar leaning sloppily on my dresser.

"Don't touch that," I panic.

She simply turns to me.

"I mean, it's no big deal. Everybody can play the guitar now."

"I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar, but I guess I never figured how."

"I can teach you," I offer. "If you want."

Chloe grins at me happily, "That's so sweet of you, Beca. Thanks."

My heart melts. Before I do something stupid, I grab all the necessary stuff and head towards the door, "Come on, Red. Let's go."

"Okay," Chloe grabs my guitar then opens the door for me.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"You said you'd teach me," she simply replies. She ushers me out of my dorm room and closes the door.

* * *

During our little basketball one-on-one, I beat Stan by one point. As part of the deal, he lent me his BMW convertible for a day. I'm glad he didn't bother to ask. There is no way in hell that I'm going to tell my brother that I'm trying to impress a girl. At least not just yet.

It's been awhile since I've been planning on doing something special for Chloe. I know the perfect place for a perfectly beautiful girl, but I don't have a car to complete the requirements. I guess I owe Stan one, although, I actually earned this.

When I first arrived in Barden, I got so frustrated with how my life had turned out. Like I said, I hate Phil. I hate him so much I found myself running away. I found myself running away from him, from Barden, from the past, from all my troubles and heartaches. I didn't know where I'm running to, but after several hours of running I stumbled upon this beautiful lake. It's calm and peaceful; just what I needed. Since then, this lake has been my great escape. And because Chloe seems to manage to sneak in my own little bubble, I decided to bring her here. She doesn't know it, but I promise myself to bring here the person I think I would willingly give my heart to.

"Okay," I clap my hands, and look at all the food I prepared for this picnic. "I hope you're hungry."

My redhead companion stiffs a laugh.

"What?"

"Who knows Beca Mitchell can pull off a picnic by the lake moment?"

I flash her my proud face.

"Tell me the truth, you sick imposter, where is the real Beca?"

I roll my eyes, "Very funny, Red."

Chloe smirks and I hand her a plate. I start filling mine until the plate is full. I notice the redhead simply staring at me as if studying my face carefully.

"I was actually hoping you'd eat and not just stare at my face, you know. If you fear that I poisoned the food, I'm telling you I got help from Cynthia Rose and Stacie in preparing them. And _Chips_ _Ahoy!_ courtesy of Fat Amy, by the way. I don't cook. But well, I tried, okay?"

"Do you know that that's the longest statement you have ever made since we met?" Chloe peaks slowly then smiles at me.

"Whatever."

I proceed with eating the lasagna but Chloe only keeps staring.

"Chloe, come on, eat up."

She looks amused again, "You called me by my name."

"Yes, I did, so eat already."

I place a piece of chicken lollipop on her plate.

"Seriously, Beca, why did you bring me here?"

"I told you I need to unwind."

"I don't believe it entirely."

I look down at my plate and sigh. I take a quick glance at her then shake my head.

"I'll tell you later."

"Tell me now."

"Later."

"Now."

"I…" I trail off. I stare at her face, into her pleading eyes. That's all it took for me to give in. "I'm allergic to peanuts."

"What?" Chloe wears a confused expression on her face.

"I'm allergic to peanuts," I repeat as if it finally makes sense the second time. "My favorite color is black. I'm addicted to my mom's homemade quesadilla. I hate movies, I think they're predictable. I never learned how to ride a bike. I cheated on my Geometry and Chemistry exam back in high school. The only person I don't need to tolerate is my brother, and I borrowed his BMW because I left my own car in Michigan."

Chloe looks speechless.

"Why are you telling me all these?"

"Because," I try to avoid her eyes. "You said you want me to say something about myself."

Her face goes blank for a moment, and that scares the hell out of me. I never thought it would even be possible for someone like Chloe Beale. I start to mentally curse myself for being so silly, so silly to take her out for a picnic just because I have to say something about myself more than a week after she first asked me casually. I start to panic. Should I say something like perhaps apologize or should I just run away? But then, a goofy grin creeps out on her face, tears threatening to slide down her cheeks any moment.

"Please say something," I mumble.

Instead, Chloe throws herself to me as she envelops me with a hug. I take as much time to process what just happened. Slowly, I bring my hands up to her back as to hug her back. Yes, I'm hugging her back. I can't describe exact how I'm feeling right now. Again, it's a strange kind of feeling, really. That's the Chloe effect on me, I guess. One simple act and I feel so alive and dead at the same time. Alive because somehow I know she cares about me and that's what keeps me going, but dead because this is how it will ever be between us: one simple hug and nothing else. For now, I don't care. I just try and enjoy the moment. It's a strange kind of feeling, yet surprisingly beautiful at the same time.

* * *

_Chapter title: Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung_

**_I hope you like it. Please don't forget to leave a review. Thanks :)_**


	3. Wonderwall

_Thanks for the awesome reviews, guys! :)_

**_Michikame:_**_ I'm so sorry to piss you off but __I thought I made that clear when I wrote the summary of the story :P I hope you'd still read the rest of the story though._

_Here's Chapter 3! :))_

* * *

CHAPTER THREE: **Wonderwall**

We exchanged stories as we savor the food. I tried to be as open as possible. I even told Chloe about my parents' divorce which is frankly the most sensitive event in my life. I told stories about my brother – how Stan became my hero, my only friend, and my salvation. I was proud to say that not even the years and the distance have changed the way we care for each other. We're siblings after all. I noticed how happy she is for me. And I'm happy just to know that I can make her feel happy.

After some time, Chloe asked if we could stay at the lake for a little longer and I couldn't agree more. She took my hand and dragged me towards the end of the dock. She sat down, pulling me down with her, our feet soaked into the water.

She started telling me the story about how she and Aubrey became best friends. Apparently, Aubrey was Chloe's own Kimmy Jin when they first met back in their freshman year. Chloe used to be constantly ignored by her blonde roommate, but she kept on being nice and friendly. She was able to catch that Aubrey's bitchy attitude might be caused by her dad being the ultimate perfectionist. Aubrey has spent her entire life trying to live up to her father's expectations, and well, failure is never an option. Then there was a time that Aubrey was having major difficulty in catching up with her academic requirements to the point of acquiring a flu and high fever forced her to stay in bed for a couple of days. Because Chloe is a pre-med major and being the nice person that she is, she dutifully tended to the needs of her roommate until full recovery. She even completed Aubrey's final paper for her Philosophy class. Since then, the blonde saw the genuine concern of the redhead towards her. She started opening up, became more human, and officially declared Chloe as her best friend. I wonder if Kimmy Jin and I will ever reach this status in our 'relationship' if we actually have one.

Aubrey and I are the same, I realized. Aubrey and I were both messed up because of our daddy issues until Chloe Beale painted our black and white world with rainbows because that's what she is; pure sunshine.

"Aubrey's lucky to have you as her best friend," I tell Chloe and I mean it.

"Thanks," I see the smile on her face in my peripheral view.

"When I was feeling lost and empty, all I could turn to was Stan. And it was a pretty hard set up because he was miles away. It wasn't enough that I could hear his voice through the phone. I needed somebody to hug me and comfort me through the sleepless nights."

I can't believe I'm actually saying these. Somehow, I feel a little embarrassed because the normal Beca will never open up to anyone like this. The normal Beca is always guarded. But how Chloe manages to break into my iron walls is still a mystery to me because then she looks at me and I have never felt so vulnerable.

"Give me your hand," I stare at her open palm waiting for my decision. I didn't even have second thoughts. I just rest mine on top of hers and I feel her hold a grip onto it. "If you let me, I'll always be here for you, Beca. That's a promise."

"Big word, Red."

She softly chuckles, "I mean it."

"And I appreciate it," I smile at her. That's the least I could do. "Thank you."

I wish she would hold my hand at least for a little longer. I feel so vulnerable but secured at the same time. But then she lets go and runs back to our picnic area. She returns afterwards with my guitar.

"Here," she hands the guitar to me.

I position it in such a way that she could see my fingers when I play the chords, "If you want to learn how to play the guitar, the basic thing to do is-"

"Not now," she cuts me off. "I just want to see you play and hear you sing."

I shake my head, "You planned this."

"I told you," she shrugs. "You can't plan 'Beca and Chloe Saturday Getaway' all by yourself."

She gives me a grin and so I sigh defeated.

"So what do you want me to play?"

"Surprise me."

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just close your eyes then I'll play."

"That's unfair."

"Do you want me to play or what?"

"Fine."

She closes her eyes and I stare at her for a moment.

"I'm waiting, Beca."

"No peeking, Red."

"Okay."

I clear my throat then start to play. Wonderwall by Oasis. Well, it was the first song that came to my mind.

"_Today is gonna be the day  
__That they're gonna throw it back to you  
__By now you should've somehow  
__Realized what you gotta do  
__I don't believe that anybody  
__Feels the way I do, about you now"_

I watch the smile on Chloe's face.

"_Back beat, the word was on the street  
__That the fire in your heart is ouy  
__I'm sure you've heard it all before  
__But you never really had a doubt  
__I don't believe that anybody  
__Feels the way I do about you now"_

"_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
__And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
__There are many things that I  
__Would like to say to you but I don't know how  
__Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me  
__And after all, you're my wonderwall."_

Chloe kept her eyes shut all throughout the song but I could tell she was enjoying the music. When I finish, I can't help but stare at her beautiful face. Even without the visibility of those blue eyes, I find myself so drawn to her. I figure it's not the eyes that are hypnotizing but it's everything about her. I keep staring and little do I notice that I'm leaning forward towards her face.

"Keep your eyes closed," I whisper and luckily she does. She remains calm, not even anticipating my invasion.

When my lips are just inches away from hers, I pause. Now what?

With eyes still closed, Chloe whispers to me, "I'm glad you asked me to come, Beca."

And that's all I needed to convince myself that I have to kiss her right then and there. No reasons. Just kiss her. Now.

But for some odd chance, it starts to rain. I lean back just before she opens her eyes, my previous intention I would keep as my dirty little secret forever. I stand up, grab the guitar, and pull Chloe up and starts to head for cover, but instead of running after me, she stays at the dock.

I turn around to face her.

"It's raining."

"I know," is her only response, a smirk on her face.

"Then let's go. Come on now."

"I remember the last time I played in the rain was in middle school."

"Now you're a grown up so let's go, Red."

"What? Is Beca Mitchell scared of the rain?"

I continue to shield my head from the now pouring rain as I watch Chloe take steps backward slowly enticingly.

"You'll get wet."

"I'm already wet."

"You'll get sick."

That is my last hopeless argument, but she simply laughs at me.

"If that happens, I expect you to take care of me, Mitchell."

Then, she jumps into the water.

"Chloe!"

I run towards the end of the dock and search for the redhead. No sign of her.

"Chloe! Chloe? Chloe!"

Nothing.

"Shit," I carelessly put the guitar down and jump in. Cold water. When my head resurface, I find Chloe looking so amused by my nervous face.

"What the hell, Chloe?"

She says nothing.

"You can't just do that, you know! I thought something bad happened to you, I got so scared! God, I don't even know if you can swim. I… You… Just… I don't want to see you hurt, okay?"

We simply stare at each other for a while until I finally stop panicking. I shake my head then we share a fit of laughter. Stupid, Beca.

* * *

As I have guessed, Chloe had cough and colds after that swimming-under-the-rain scheme that we had causing her to unable to reach the high notes for the next few Bella rehearsals. Of course, Aubrey has to blame me for what happened.

"Double cardio," that's my punishment. I didn't mind.

Chloe claims she didn't mean it but I try my best to take care of her anyway. I constantly remind her about taking her medicine, to increase her fluid intake, and even obliged myself to walk her to her dorm room every after Bella practice.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I'm fine. I'm feeling better now, thanks to you. Besides, Aubrey will be home in a minute, you know."

Of course, the last thing Chloe needs right now is Aubrey and I bickering about anything.

"Don't forget to take your meds. Promise?"

"Big word, Beca."

I shoot her a look.

"Yes!" she exclaims. "I promise to take my meds, Dr. Mitchell."

"Good."

"I think I'll sleep this off for a little while. Thanks again, Beca."

"Don't mention it."

She grabs my hand, "I'm sorry about your guitar again. I didn't mean to ruin it."

"Don't worry about it."

"But-"

I cut her off, "How about you let me stay till you fall asleep?"

She sighs.

"Okay," she covers her body with the blanket and sleep off.

I stay. I quietly sit at the side of the bed and turn to look at her. I indulge myself with her calm and steady breathing. I slowly reach out to tuck the loosened lock of red hair off her face. Even in this state, Chloe Beale still looks so beautiful. I remember that afternoon at the lake, that moment when I almost kissed her. What would have been if it didn't rain and my lips touch hers? Would I still be sitting here by her side, watching her sleep? Would she let me do that?

"I think I'm in love with you," I whisper.

I don't care if Chloe didn't get to hear it because she had fallen asleep. I don't care if I only told that to myself. That's the plan anyway. I can't tell her just yet. Maybe not even ever. I just needed to speak that out. I need to tell myself what I have been so scared to admit. It's not even a crush anymore or some crazy infatuation. I think I'm in love with Chloe Beale. And that's not even the worst of it. I think I'm falling even more in love.

* * *

For the next few days, I have started to live in fear. I was five when my parents divorced. Since then I have hated Phil as I truly believe that he is to blame. As I grew older, I swear I would never let him or anything hurt me that much again. With Stan in a distant place, I started putting up these walls around me making sure nothing would break them. For years, it was my shelter, my security blanket. I let nobody in; no, not even my mother. I had honestly believed that for the rest of my life, I could live within the shield of these barriers. But then, here comes Chloe Beale. She made me fall in love with her.

Now that means nothing but trouble to me. So when Jesse asked me out on a date the last time we were stacking CDs at the radio station, I quickly replied, without any amount of hesitation, "yes".

The first option was to go see Iron Man 3. Problem? I don't seem to be an Iron Man fan and I don't seem to be fond of movies as well. Because I forgot to eat my lunch earlier that day that I was starving, Jesse and I decided to head straight to dinner. We went to this place called _The Lounge_. We were seated there for a good ten minutes but then we both agreed that the place was a little too fancy for our taste. God, that would feel like eating a meal with my father and the stepmonster. So Jesse brought me to this diner near the campus, and I settled with some burger and potato fries. Like any other dates I had been to before, the guy tries to make me talk about stuff, but the thing is I don't want to talk about stuff.

"So tell me, what brought you here to Barden?"

"Some reasons."

Jesse laughs.

"Care to expound those reasons?"

"My mom's ex-husband lives here," I start, feeling a little uneasy about the topic, but I agreed to be here so. "His new wife is a Barden professor. He thinks if I stay here, that would magically solve everything."

"Your mom's ex-husband?" his eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Does it mean he's your father?"

I start playing with my fries, "You can say that."

"Something tells me that you're not particularly a daddy's girl."

"Nope," I shake my head slowly. "Not a big fan."

"What about your brother?" he asks.

"Stan," is all I say.

"How is he?"

"We're good. I mean, I like him."

"Good to know," he smiles probably because that was the first positive thing I said on this date. "I don't see him paying you a visit at the radio station though."

"Basketball, academics. Between the two of us, he's the over-achiever."

"You got into the Barden Bellas," Jesse points out. "That's something, you know."

And just like that, I am again reminded of Chloe Beale. But I shake it off and smile at Jesse.

"Sure."

The night goes on and on and I try to display the adequate amount of enthusiasm as I possibly can. But maybe Jesse still notices my limited interest on his questions. I don't feel like introducing myself to him so I'm glad when instead he starts to introduce himself to me – that he has two older brothers, that he loves movies, that he dreams about making it to the Hollywood industry someday that he loves stacking CDs, and many other random stuff. Once in a while, we would talk about Luke and music. This is nice of him.

I'm not difficult to please, really. Plus, Jesse, turns out, is really easy to talk to. I can tell he's a good guy and that he makes so much effort to make me feel comfortable with him. I truly appreciate that. Okay, so I guess we could be friends.

After dinner, he asks me to go to some park, but I politely decline and simply asks him to bring me home.

"Thank you," he says as he we stand at the front door of my dormitory. "Thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me, Beca."

I try to flash my sincerest smile, "No problem. I enjoyed the night, thank you, Jesse."

I watch as his face curl up into a beam. He moves closer to me, his body just inches away from mine. I look into his eyes and I just know he is happy. Wow, I don't know I have this kind of effect on him; that one Beca Mitchell can actually make Jesse Swanson happy. Then, I notice my smile disappears into a frown. I didn't think about that when I said "yes" at the radio station. When he mentioned "date", it was a friendly one on my part. Now I understand it's more than that.

"I like you, Beca," Jesse confirms my thoughts, and I fall silent. "I truly care about you. I hope you know that."

I remain silent.

"Now you probably think I'm an idiot," he chuckles. "But seriously, I like you."

I swallow hard.

"It's alright." He shakes his head, "You don't have to say anything, Beca."

I open my mouth to say something, but close it almost immediately when nothing but air came out. I bravely search for those pair of eyes. Guilt quickly haunts me down to the core. Beca Mitchell is a selfish bitch. I've been using Jesse for the night. I've been using him hoping to forget someone else in the process. Maybe when he looks into my eyes, he finds something really wonderful for him to like me as he says. Then I look into his and all I could find is diversion. It is even a failed kind of diversion because I look into Jesse's eyes and I see those bright blue eyes that I am not meant to see in the first place and everywhere I look I can still see those red locks, that cheeky smile, and realize that my mind is _permanently_ dominated by that certain someone.

I guess it was not coincidence when I suddenly sang _Wonderwall _to her back at the lake in our little 'Beca and Chloe Saturday Getaway' because all this time in my sub-consciousness, I constantly think about Chloe. She is indeed my Wonderwall.

"I should probably go."

Jesse gives me a genuine smile and plants a kiss on my cheeks before heading back to his car. He waves goodbye before driving off. I stay there quietly for a moment processing everything in my head.

I shake my head.

"Shit."

* * *

Because I'm plain lazy to think and might as well take advantage of the fact that I have a genius brother, I decided to pay him a visit one night with my College Algebra homework.

"You know dad will get so pissed if he finds out about this."

We both laugh at the idea of it. Stan works on my homework on his desk while I lie on his bed, staring at LeBron James whose poster is posted on the ceiling.

"That's the point, Stan."

"If you really want him seriously angry, you should have done this yourself. You could do a lot worse with your grades, kiddo."

I sit up and throw a pillow at him, "Shut up."

He chuckles.

"So how was your date?"

"What date?"

He furrows her eyebrow, "When you borrowed my car I assume you spent a day with someone special."

Why do everybody needs to remind me of Chloe Beale when I'm trying to forget about her?

"Okay, to save us both from beating around the bush. Luke said he heard Jesse asked you out."

Stan grins at me and I respond with a death glare. Seriously. He has to remind me of the two people who are the last ones I want to be lingering in my head right now. I can still feel the guilt rushing through my insides when I think about Jesse and that night. I can't have someone falling in love with me when I already know that I can never love him back. I know what it feels like to give your everything – your trust, your heart, your dreams, everything – only to watch that person walk away and no matter how many times or how loud you say 'I love you' and mean it, it will never be enough to make him stay.

"Jesse's a great guy."

That is true.

"So you like him?"

"It's not like I hate him."

Stan looks up from my homework to turn to me.

"Just be careful, kiddo. I don't want you end up getting hurt."

I laugh bitterly. My brother has no idea but it's because chances are I'll be the one hurting Jesse's feelings if I don't do anything anytime soon.

"Are you done yet with those stupid numbers and letters?"

"Variables, Beca. They're not just some letters, you know."

"Yeah yeah, okay."

He shakes his head, "Just make yourself comfortable."

Sensing boredom coming up, I stand up from the bed and start roaming around the room. Clothes are trashed on the floor and leftovers left unattended on the coffee table. Everywhere is a mess. _Boys._ I walk through the pile of clothes to Stan's shelf of trophies. It's a collection of his MVP trophies since he went to college. I'm guessing his trophies from high school stand all pretty back in Phil's house. I go through all the trophies when suddenly, my eyes catch this really inappropriate piece of clothing tangled around one of them.

"God, Stan, please tell me this is not yours," I close my eyes tight as I disgustingly hold up a black bra whose owner remains to be unknown to me.

"Shit."

Stan hurries to steal the piece of clothing away from me.

My eyes follow him as he starts picking up the clothes from the floor; my face can't help but display amusement.

"Shut up, Beca!"

"What? I'm not saying anything," I raise my hand as a declaration of my supposed innocence, but I find myself already fighting off a big laugh.

Finally, he starts cleaning up the entire room.

"Should I start calling you 'sis' now?"

He glares at me.

"Is it your roommate, then?"

I'm laughing so hard that I didn't notice the seriousness on my brother's face. It's an expression that rarely visits his handsome features. It's when he wouldn't look at me anymore that I start to realize what it means.

"Stan, look at me."

He won't.

"Look at me!"

I hear him sigh, not a good sign. I march to him and force him to look at me.

"Please, just tell me you're gay," I tell him deadpanned. I don't want him to imply anything else.

He shakes his head.

"Don't you dare say you're dating a girl."

My voice is low but powerful.

"Stan!" I demand.

He finally looks at me.

"I have a girlfriend, Beca."

I frustratingly shake my head and immediately head towards the door.

"Beca, wait!"

Stan grabs my arm, but I push him and ran away.

* * *

_And that ends Chapter 3. Tune in for the next one... but for the meantime, don't forget to leave a review or hit that favorite/follow button :) Thanks :)_

_Chapter Title (and in the story): Wonderwall - Oasis_

_I just can't get enough of that song. Please bear with me. And I just think it's perfect :)_


	4. Fell In Love Without You

_Hello, everyone! I know it's been a while but I think this chapter is worth the wait :)_

**_AnonDot:_**_ I don't know what you're trying to point out there but I just really adore the BeChloe pairing and I'm trying to express that by writing this fanfiction :)_

**_Michikame: _**_If you ask me, I haven't thought about how this story will end :P_

**_Dr. Bones206: _**_I love reading your reviews. Thank you!_

**_Avarenda_**_ and **BG-13: **SPOILER ALERT! I hope you find the answer to your question in this chapter..._

**_SuperGirl06:_**_ SPOILER ALERT! I'm afraid to disappoint you, dear :(_

_TO EVERYBODY ELSE: Thank you so much! I appreciate the love for the story :)_

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR: **Fell in Love Without You**

I don't know if it's just me but I think Chloe is acting a little bit strange today. Normally, she would get so touchy and hands-on with me when it comes to practicing the choreography, but today, it's as if there is an invisible wall set up everywhere between us. Maybe it's just me but I think she has distanced herself from me. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe it's not even me that makes her act that 'strange'. Maybe she is not distancing herself particularly from me, I only assumed it that way. Maybe I'm just so used to Chloe being touchy with me that I just miss it. But I don't own her. I don't own the right to receive all that from her. Subsequently, I don't have the right to feel sad about it or feel a little angry towards her. But I find myself doing so.

"You want to forget about her anyway, isn't it, Beca?" I remind myself.

So I try to look at the bright side. Last time, I finally admitted to myself that I'm falling for Chloe Beale, and I don't want that. I just know that getting into that mess will end up with me hurting myself, or worse, hurting Chloe. I don't want that. I have convinced myself that staying behind my shields is the best way to live my life. It's just going to be me.

So maybe I should really start distancing myself from Chloe. Perhaps, the greatest possible distance from her would probably be nice. I remember my Physics professor once said 'the greater the distance, the lesser the force of attraction.' Well, who knows? Maybe that will work.

* * *

"_Can we go back, this is the moment  
__Tonight is the night, we'll fight 'til it's over  
__So we put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us  
__Like the ceiling can't hold us"_

Ray Dalton's voice is heard in the room as my cellphone rings for the thirtieth time this day. My brother just would not give up even after I ignored his calls for the past days. I'm glad that Luke refused to give my shift schedule at the radio station and that my brother has not camped out by my dorm room yet. Today, I deliberately ignore Stan's calls as I have decided to devote myself to stacking CDs with Jesse.

"_Can we go back, this is the moment  
__Tonight is the night, we'll fight 'til it's over  
__So we put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us  
__Like the ceiling can't hold us"_

"Just answer that damn phone, Beca," Luke shoots me a look as he walks out of the booth.

"Just let it ring. We could use some real good music, Luke," I shoot back.

He rolls his eyes then heads out probably for a coffee break or a cigarette break or possibly both.

_Can't Hold Us_ stops, but then rings again as my brother calls again clearly not giving up easily.

"Aren't you really going to take that?" Jesse asks me, shifting his eyes to the cellphone lying on my side of the table.

I shake my head, "It's just my brother."

"Fight?"

"Not really, I just don't want to talk to him right now."

He nods, "Okay."

The ringing stops again. I wait for a good two minutes and nothing came. I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, some quiet time. But then, just when I finish stacking up the CDs, Ray Dalton starts to sing again. This time I answer because let's face it, the music is good but if you keep listening to it for a consecutive thirty-two times in a day, it just turns pretty annoying.

I wait for Stan to say something.

"Beca, can we talk?"

"Go hook up with your girlfriend," I respond then hang up the phone.

Jesse chuckles then shakes his head.

"What?"

"I smell jealousy everywhere," he jokingly starts sniffing the atmosphere inside the room.

I simply roll my eyes.

"Come on, what's so bad about your brother dating a girl?"

I sigh, "I just don't like the idea of sharing him, you know."

"For a sister, that sounds too clingy, Beca, but don't worry, I still like you."

So Jesse has to remind me about that. Well, I do like Jesse, not just in the way he likes me. Another problem is that I don't think I will ever be. But I just can't break his heart.

"We're good, right?" he suddenly asks.

I nod almost too quickly, "Yeah, of course."

And as if on cue, when I picked up the next call, I heard Chloe's voice speaking on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Beca, you want to hang out?"

Okay, I know what I said about drawing the greatest possible distance from Chloe. I know what I said about staying behind my shields for the rest of my life. I trusted Science and its laws because people would almost always say that being scientific is being rational, and being rational means no emotions involved. But I guess my emotions are too fucked up. When Science said 'the greater the distance, the lesser the force of attraction,' I only find myself missing Chloe. I only find myself falling and falling even more. Now how can I ever say 'no' to the one and only Chloe Beale?

* * *

When Chloe asked me to hang out with her, my idea of it was just 'me and her' like some kind of another 'Beca and Chloe Getaway'. I can never forget that 'alone' time we shared at the lake. So far, it's my favorite day ever. So I bolted out of the radio station apologizing to Jesse and headed straight to the seniors' dormitory. I thought I would spend as much 'alone' time as I could with her because I desperately needed that. So just imagine my disappointment when Aubrey opens the door for me.

"Oh," Aubrey runs her eyes on me from head to toe, I almost feel violated. "It's just you."

I roll my eyes at the 'welcome' remarks of Chloe's roommate.

"Beca!"

Great, the rest of the Bellas are here too, so much for an 'alone' time with Chloe.

Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose make their way past Aubrey to drag me inside. Packs of chips on the coffee table; Denise and Jessica are handing over drinks; and Stacy is giving a lecture on cuticle care to Ashley.

"I thought you're going to ditch us," Cynthia Rose says.

"You know in Tasmania," Fat Amy chimes in. "Fashionably late is my forte. The crocodiles and, um, vultures usually walk on the mud carpet the earliest."

I strain my neck trying to locate around the room my ultimate reason for coming over, but only to be disappointed.

"What's going on?" I ask Cynthia Rose because it seems to me that she's the best person who can answer the question, well, aside from Aubrey.

"Didn't Chloe tell you? It's a Bella sleepover," she answers. I guess Chloe likes to leave out important information when inviting me. "Well, I'm only here for the booze, you know."

Fat Amy pushes me down to the couch with a thud and crashes into the space next to me.

"I've seen the best parties in Tasmania. It usually involves firecracker eating, hyenaback riding, and, uh, mermaid dancing. Yep, that's the best part, Beca."

"Sure, Fat Amy," I respond absentmindedly. _Where the hell is Chloe?_

Surprisingly, it's either Aubrey has been reading my mind or the thing is really evident on my face.

"Chloe will be here in a minute," she assures me as she takes a Caesar salad out of the takeout bag. Of course, Aubrey will not feed herself with 'disgustingly unhealthy' foods.

I lean back pretending that it was not my greatest question for the night that has just been answered.

"Who says I'm looking for Chloe?"

"Just maybe," Aubrey shrugs mockingly. Does she know?

Suddenly, I hear the door cracks open and I sit up immediately expecting it to be Chloe, but I turn my head to the side only to find Lily enter the room. Her mouth opens and her lips start moving as she speaks about something which unfortunately can't be heard by anybody else but herself. So I sigh and sink back to the couch.

I move my eyes towards the television screen. A movie is being played on the screen. Even though I hate movies, I am able to identify Ryan Gosling and Amy Adams. I figure it's some kind of a chick flick Hollywood movie.

"I'll go grab more drinks," Cynthia Rose offers when Denise hands out the last bottle of alcohol to Lily.

"I'm coming with you," I say because I feel uncomfortable with the idea that Cynthia Rose will leave me in the company of Aubrey and Fat Amy. Not a good combination.

I trail behind Cynthia Rose as we head to the refrigerator. I stand by her and wait for her to hand me some bottles. Suddenly, the door opens to reveal Chloe with two boxes of pizza and a take-out platter of fruits which is probably for Aubrey. Her blonde roommate automatically helps her with the boxes of pizza.

"Pizza, everyone!"

Chloe looks so cheerful like she has ever been. I miss that. It's only been a couple of days but I miss her so much. I miss the way it feels when she talks to me, stands by me, walks next to me, and most especially, I miss the way it feels when she holds my hands and hugs me in her arms. Without all that in the past couple of days, it feels like life has been so empty. So tonight, when I look at her, all the feelings that I've been trying to push aside just came crawling back to me.

She probably feels the intensity of my stare because she turns her head and her eyes meet mine. My heart sinks because I watch as her grin turns into a frown and quickly looks away. I guess I'm not paranoid after all. Did I do something? I don't remember. Curse you, Beca!

"Let's get this party started!"

Again, I trail behind Cynthia Rose as we head back, joining the others. Stacy turns the TV off and places her iTouch on the iPod dock and played some music.

"_I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums  
__Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone  
__So while you're here in my arms  
__Let's make the most till the night like we're gonna die young"_

"I need a drink," Chloe tells Cynthia Rose, but she just handed her last bottle to Aubrey. Yep, Aubrey will be drinking, too. Surprise, surprise.

So I decide to take this opportunity to speak to Chloe for the first time in a couple of days.

"Here," I hand her a bottle.

She forces a half-hearted smile, "Thanks, Beca."

Really, what's going on? Did I do something wrong?

"Let's play some icebreaker," Aubrey grins. "I hope you all are ready to get drunk because we're going to play 'I've Never'!"

Everybody, except me, raises their bottles in the air along with a loud 'whoo!'.

"This is going to be a long night," I mumble to myself.

* * *

The thing about the game 'I've Never' is that you get people to talk and drunk at the same time which by the way I have understood it are the two main goals of this sleepover. Our version of it has very simple rules: one by one, we say our 'I've Never' phrase; everybody who has done the given condition will have to take a shot; you sleep off or simply surrender, then you lose. I don't remember Aubrey mentioning a prize for the winner, but everyone's been a little competitive anyway or maybe Stacie just wants to get everybody drunk.

Denise and Ashley have now passed out on the floor; they didn't even make the effort of making it to their respective sleeping bags. Jessica is crying her eyes out at a corner for some reason. Lily is puking in the restroom and Fat Amy is looking after her hopefully. Thankfully, the seniors' dormitory rooms has their own bathrooms complete with separate bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, and living room. This drunken sleepover has been a little bit easier with the puking. Then, Aubrey decided to sleep in Chloe's room a few minutes ago claiming in her drunken state that it is her room. So, technically, it's just me, Chloe, Cynthia Rose, and Stacie left in the game. All of which are very drunk. But no, I think I'm just a little tipsy.

"I've never," Stacie pauses to let out a drunk giggle. "kissed a girl on the lips."

Stacie and Cynthia Rose each take a shot. I'm thankful that I didn't kiss Chloe back in the lake because I don't want to get myself too drunk that I might start confessing feelings here.

"You were supposed to say something you've never done, Stacie."

"I know," Stacie laughs hysterically. "But I wanted to drink. Sue me, Beca?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Your turn, Cynthia Rose."

Chloe looks really drunk.

"I've never," Cynthia Rose seems to be thinking really hard. "I've never skinny dipped."

Oh boy, Stacie is taking another shot. Chloe is laughing enthusiastically at her.

"Okay, my turn, my turn," Chloe raises her hand as if we are in a class. "I've never cheated in a test."

She gives me a wink and I shake my head. But, I let out a smile because I'm glad that Chloe still remembers in spite of her drunken state. I take a shot along with Cynthia Rose, and well, Stacie.

"Last one, Beca," Cynthia Rose tells me, her eyes are half-closed. "I'm really sleepy now."

"Oh come on, CR," Stacie glares. "You're such a party poop."

"And you're so drunk, Stacie, I don't need to knock you down to make you sleep after this."

"Cynthia Rose is right, Stacie," I agree. "Don't worry, I promise I'll let you take one last shot."

Stacie grins at me.

I sigh and start thinking of something I've never done that Stacie has most probably done.

"I've never had a boyfriend."

I'm glad to see Stacie take another shot as I have promised. But my smile fades away as I watch Chloe take a shot. Who am I kidding? She's beautiful, sweet, kind, talented, smart, just everything you would want to in a person. There is no way that a person like that does not have a boyfriend. Well, it might be in the past, but what's the guarantee that she doesn't have a boyfriend right now. I've been falling in love with her, I don't even know if she has already fallen in love with someone else. It's just in a hypothetical sense, but the pain is too real. Now I wish I have drunk myself enough to drown this painful feeling.

Cynthia Rose apologizes that she can't help me with cleaning up, but promises to put Stacie to her sleeping bag. Yeah, we need to clean up because if we don't, I'm sensing Aubrey in her normal state tomorrow morning will punish us really hard. It's a good thing I'm not that drunk anyway. Plus, I need this distraction from Chloe. But, then she starts picking up the bottles of alcohol too.

"Just go to bed, I'll take it from here," I tell her.

"I'm not drunk."

But she really is. I swear.

"So what do you call that, Red?"

"I just had too much to drink," she giggles.

The last thing I want right now is to argue with a drunk person especially in the person of Chloe Beale, so I just let her help me. No big deal.

"Could you put Jessica to bed? I just need to check on Lily and Fat Amy. They should be back here a long time already."

"Okie dokie, kiddo."

Only Stan and his friends call me that. Never mind. Chloe is just drunk.

I watch Chloe drag herself to the corner where Jessica is still sobbing. Well, I have to make sure she makes it without tumbling over before I head to the bathroom. God, this is the most disgusting sight ever. There's puke everywhere in the toilet bowl so I guess Fat Amy had to puke too. The blonde girl lies carelessly on the floor with Lily's head resting on her belly. Come on, I have to laugh at this two weirdos. Afterwards, I clean them both up and the bathroom. I help Lily get into her sleeping bag, but simply throw a blanket over Fat Amy because I couldn't lift her up no matter how hard I try. Please compare my tiny body to her gigantic one, no offense.

I take a garbage bag and walk everywhere the room, picking up everything that needs to go into the bag. After an hour, I decide that the room could already pass Aubrey's standard for an 'after-party' mess. I look around for my partner. Chloe has her arms and feet sprawled on the couch. I kneel beside her and stiff a laugh at this sight of Chloe Beale.

"Come on, Red, let's get you to bed."

"Aubrey's in my bed, remember?" her lips are barely moving.

"You'll sleep in her bed then."

She laughs, "She's going to be so pissed about all this tomorrow."

"Nah, she's just going to be pissed at me."

I'm sensing Aubrey will be blaming me for all this mess especially that I'm the only one remaining who can still be sober at this point.

"Why does Aubrey hate me so much anyway?" I ask Chloe.

"She thinks you're selfish and she thinks you hate me," the redhead simply answers.

I am shocked.

"What? What makes her think about that? I mean, why would I hate you?"

Talking to Chloe in her current state is probably a bad idea, but I proceed with it anyway. I haven't talked to her in a couple of days and she kept on ignoring me the entire night, this is the only chance I've got.

"Because you want to push me away.'

"I don't want to push you away. As far as I remember, you're the one ignoring me."

"I thought it's what you want. I thought it's what you need."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I know just how angry you are at me."

Okay, that's it, Chloe is really drunk. These are all stupid and non-sense stuff that's coming out of her mouth now. I have to put her to bed immediately.

"Party's over, let's get you to bed, Red."

I wrap her arm around my neck as I carefully help her up.

"Please, don't be mad at me, Beca."

I can feel her breath against my neck.

"I'm not mad at you, Red," I assure her.

Slowly, we reach Aubrey's room, Chloe half-asleep in my arms.

"Beca, I don't want you to stay away from me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Red."

I help her climb Aubrey's bed. I wait for her to settle down then tuck her in. I wait for her to talk again, but she seems to have completely fallen asleep. I stand there looking around Aubrey's room because this is probably the first and the last time that I get to be in here. On the bedside table are two frames of pictures. One has a picture of Aubrey with I suppose is her family. A taller version of Aubrey, I suppose is her mom, stands next to her. A blonde man, I suppose is her dad, with a stern smile in a nice suit and tie stands right behind the two women. They all just stand there, no hugs or big smiles. One look and they don't look like the typical definition of a family. They look too formal and too 'corporate'. The other one has a picture of Aubrey and Chloe. They are both in their paintball gears complete with paintball guns. With all the paint splattered everywhere, it must have been an all-out war in the field. But they look so happy, so happy that I can't help but smile. I would have loved to see this day in its actuality. Whoever took this picture is so lucky to see this memorable day first-hand.

Suddenly, I hear Chloe sobbing.

"Chloe?" I sit on the side of the bed. "Are you okay?"

No response.

"Um," I'm not good at this. "Whatever that is, I'm sure it's going to be alright."

That's what they usually say. I hope it's enough to get her stop crying, and it does.

Chloe opens her eyes briefly to look at me. Then, when she decides I'm still there, she moves to give me a space next to her on the bed. I lie next to her and she wraps an arm around me as she rests her head on my shoulder. I realize how close she is to me and I think I just stop breathing.

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asks.

"You can, but is that what you want?"

She's drunk. I don't want her telling me secrets that I'm not supposed to know in the first place. I'm not going to take advantage of her drunken state.

"I just need somebody to listen to me."

I nod my head. Anything for Chloe.

"My boyfriend and I had a fight last night."

Of course, she has a boyfriend.

"I love him, but I don't want him to lose someone important to him."

"Well, if he loves you that much, aren't you supposed to be the most important person to him?"

She shakes her head, "I don't think that's how it works."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't keep someone to yourself, Beca. You can love a person with all your heart and soul, but that doesn't give you the right to keep that person to yourself forever. He deserves to be loved by other people, too."

And I think Chloe just solved my problem with Stan. As much as it hurts for me to admit, Aubrey is right, too. I'm selfish. I'm selfish to think that I own my brother. I don't want him to have a girlfriend because I want him only for myself. It's bad enough that I have to share him with Phil and the step-monster. But the thing is Stan is all I have. Truth is I can't stay behind my shield forever. It's suffocating, and sometimes, when I need to breathe, Stan is all I could run to. It's always been 'Beca and Stan' that I'm just really scared that this girl will change that. I'm scared she would take him away from me then I'll be all alone because I never let anyone else in to make me feel loved. But Stan has, and it would be totally unfair if I pull him into my own little world. This girl loves him, and I can't just deprive him from that. And I _won't_ because he's my brother and I love him so much.

"So what are you going to do now?" I ask Chloe.

I feel her lips curve into a smile against my neck.

"If you want me to stay, then I'll stay, Beca."

Okay, so I'm the one who gets to decide in her relationship?

"Do you love him?"

I don't want to know the answer because I know her answer will hurt me, and I know my answer to her previous question will hurt me even more. But someone to listen to Chloe, and I want to be that person.

"Yes."

"Then, stay."

She hugs me tighter so I guess that's my consolation.

"Thank you, Beca."

"Anytime, Red."

"Sing to me?"

"What?"

"Come on, sing me _our_ song."

"So _we_ do have a song?"

"Yes," she nods and starts to softly sing:

"_Back beat, the word was on the street  
__That the fire in your heart is out  
__I'm sure you've heard it all before  
__But you never really had a doubt."__  
_

She stops, and so I continue the song in a bare whisper because the others are now sleeping now not wanting to bother them:

"_I don't believe that anybody  
__Feels the way I do about you now."_

Exactly my thoughts are.

"_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
__And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
__There are many things that I  
__Would like to say to you but I don't know how."_

Finally, I find the courage to raise my hand and rest it on her shoulder.

"_Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me  
__And after all, you're my wonderwall."_

I feel Chloe's steady breathing. This time, I'm sure she has fallen to sleep. I sigh. I remember what I said about staying at a distance when it comes to her. I know what I said about staying on guard. But Chloe is now my wonderwall. Though, the sad truth is that I'm not her own wonderwall, I still find myself falling even more. Really, what do you do when you've completely fallen in love for someone? What do I do, Chloe, when I've fallen in love without you?

* * *

_Song Titles: (Chapter Title) Fell In Love Without You - Motion City Soundtrack (2) Can't Hold Us - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton (3) Die Young - Ke$ha (4) Wonderwall - Oasis_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect**


	5. Naive

_I've been reading all your reviews, and they're all overwhelming. Just by reading them, I can tell that you've been hooked to the story because now you are sharing your opinions and analyses, and I can't help but smile to that. When I started writing this fanfiction, all I have is the idea that 'Beca is in love with Chloe but then Chloe turns out to be Beca's brother's girlfriend'. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to earn enough readers to help me get past Chapter One. If you ask me, I really don't know how this story will end. I wish I can tell you, but I really can't. Everytime I write a new chapter, everything is a surprise to me. Like all of you, I'm only waiting for what's going to happen next. Maybe that's why I chose to write in a first person perspective in the present tense. I only know what Beca knows, and that's all I can tell you. So please, I hope you can bear with me _

_**Guest **__(I wish you could have used a more creative name for distinction, but you know who you are): Interesting revelation out there. So you're on Stan's side of the game. I thought I would never hear someone say that :)_

_**SuperGirl06: **__You have very good insights, thank you. I'm going to consider them for the next chapters to come, if you don't mind. Now speaking as another reader and not as the author, I don't think Stan and Chloe had 'plotted' it this way..._

_**Avarenda: **__Yes, Chloe is well aware that Beca is Stan's sister. I just hope you don't start to hate Chloe in the story :(_

_**AnonDot: **__I am certain I'm straight, but I don't know. Again, I just really adore the pairing :D_

_**Soxylady27: **__I'm not setting things up. Like I said, even I as the author have no idea about what's going to happen next :P_

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE: **Naïve**

"How are you, Beca? Everything okay in here?"

Phil Mitchell has come for an unfortunate visit.

"Everything was, until you came."

He sighs. He probably thinks I'm being rude as usual.

"Well, if you need any help, you know-"

I cut him off, "I'm fine, Phil. I'm just perfectly fine without your participation in my life, okay?"

"Beca, I'm just trying to visit you here."

"Of course, that's what you're good at," I chuckle bitterly. "Feel free to come and go."

"That's not what I meant."

"Well, that's how it's always been to me."

He opens his mouth to say something but he closes it immediately when nothing came out.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

"Don't be. I'm kind of used to it now," I tell him firmly. "Truth is I'm just really waiting for you to walk out."

He slowly nods his head, "Okay."

He stands there for a moment staring at me. I cross my arms on my chest and match his stare. I'm not going to look away. I'm determined to show him that I'm strong enough. This time, I'm strong enough to watch him walk out. And as expected, he does. Phil Mitchell just proved me right once again.

* * *

I decided not to watch any of Stan's basketball games this season live because I can't face Phil, I can't face the step-monster, and I can't face the 'girlfriend' just yet. But I texted him to meet me up the next day at the diner outside the campus.

"Congratulations," I tell him.

He smiles.

"Thanks, kiddo."

I give him a nod.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her immediately. I just knew you'd react this way, but I've been meaning to tell you, I swear. I was just waiting for the right time."

I stop him.

"Right now, I don't like her, Stan."

Sadness is painted all over his face.

"I don't like her because it's always been the two of us. I feel like she's taking you away from me."

"Beca, it's not like that."

"You can't blame me. When Phil left, he took you with him."

"But I've always been there for you, haven't I?"

"It's different when you're actually here with me, Stan. I came here to Barden because of you, not because of Phil. I thought it's going to be 'Beca and Stan' against all odds all over again. But I guess, now it's 'Stan and his girlfriend' and I feel like I have become just some kind of a minor character in your story."

"You're my sister, Beca. You'll always be a major character in my story."

I pause. Well, I'm not here to argue about what his girlfriend makes me feel like. I'm here because I decided that I should give my support to my brother. There is no turning back.

"Do you love her?"

I don't care how long they have been dating, but it took me one shower time to fall for Chloe so I guess it's possible that Stan would answer 'yes'.

"I think I love her."

"You think you love her," I repeat.

He smiles dreamily, "It's possible that she's 'the one', Beca. And I want you to meet her. Well, _formally_ meet her as my girlfriend. That is if you want to. I'm not going to force you into that, okay?"

I sigh.

"Just inform me about the details."

Stan's eyes widen in surprise, "Really?"

"Just shut up before I change my mind."

"God, I love you, Beca!"

He jumps next to me to give me a tight embrace.

"You're the best sister ever!"

I see his face lights up. All bright. I think it's almost as bright as Chloe's. Chloe. Yeah, you owe her a lot, Stan.

* * *

"I still can't believe you haven't watched 'The Breakfast Club'."

Jesse found out when we went on our date that I don't like watching movies so today he spends his entire afternoon trying to convince me to change my perspective towards movies or at least watch what seems to be his favorite movie, 'The Breakfast Club'.

"It's like one of the best movies in history, Beca."

"I don't like movies in general, Jesse."

"Why?"

"Endings are too predictable."

He scoffs.

"No, they're not."

"How I Met Your Mother is too predictable. The guy meets the mother. They fall in love. End of story."

"That's a TV series."

"Same thing."

He laughs.

"You don't really get it, do you?"

I shrug.

"Okay, sometimes, endings are predictable."

I give him the 'I told you so' look.

"Just sometimes!" he argues. "But you know, even if you know how it will end eventually, what makes the movie really good is the characters and their adventure. It's like when you watch a romantic film. You know that the boy and the girl will eventually end up together, but you keep on watching because you can't get enough of the romance and you can't get enough of how hilariously quirky their friends are."

"Still predictable."

He shakes his head not believing that his little speech did not move me at all.

"Beca, you don't watch a movie just because you want to know the ending. You watch it because you _want_ to watch it."

"Jesse, you're _forcing _me to watch a movie," I point it out.

"That's another story!"

I laugh, enjoying the way he's suffering.

"The point is it's not just the ending. It's the movie in its totality."

"Okay," I nod my head to get this over with. "I get the point."

He holds up the DVD copy of _The Breakfast Club_ to me hopefully.

"But I'm still not watching that."

He groans and I laugh at him.

"Kiddo, you have a visitor."

Jesse and I turn our heads towards the door. Luke comes in for his radio program. Usually, he comes to work all by himself, but this time, a familiar tall blonde woman trails behind him. Aubrey Posen.

"I don't want any noise, okay?"

Luke enters the booth leaving Aubrey with just me and Jesse.

"Aubrey," I acknowledge her presence.

"Um," she hesitates for a moment, and it's very unusual to see her like this when I have always known her to be so confident. "Beca, can I talk to you in private?"

What could she possible need to talk to me about in private that she even made the effort of paying me a visit in a filthy and light-deprived radio station?

"Sure."

I turn to Jesse and he gets the message.

"I'll go grab Luke's cheeseburger."

Aubrey and I wait for Jesse to leave the premise before we stare at each other.

"I need to talk to you about Chloe," she speaks first.

"What about Chloe?"

"She is my best friend," she tells me the obvious, but I nod my head anyway. "I don't want to see her getting hurt. I know she seems to be a really strong woman, but Chloe is very fragile at the same time."

"Why are you telling me all of these?" I ask Aubrey because I'm just really confused right now. Really, I don't get where all of these are coming from.

"Because I heard you," her voice turns into a whisper as if she is telling me a top-secret conspiracy. "I heard you say it."

"Say what?" I lower my voice as well.

Aubrey swallows hard before answering my question, "Remember when Chloe was sick and you would walk her to our dorm?"

I nod my head.

"Remember that one time in which you stayed even after she fell asleep? You didn't know it but when you said _it_, I was right there at the door. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, Beca, but I was supposed to be checking on Chloe when I got there, then I just heard you say it."

I stop breathing. I remember that day. I can never forget that day. I can never forget that day because it was the first time that I admitted it to myself. And it was the first time that I said it aloud to an asleep Chloe. I slowly reached out to tuck the loosened lock of red hair off her face and whispered, "I think I'm in love with you."

I look away from Aubrey.

"Does she know?"

"I can't tell her," she shakes her head. "That will only complicate things as they are now."

"I don't want her to know either."

"I don't understand you, Beca."

I'm taken aback by Aubrey's words.

"I thought you hate her."

I thought Chloe was only saying that before because she was too drunk. I guess she was telling the truth then.

"You said it yourself that you don't like her."

I cringe. When did I say that I don't like Chloe?

"Then, boom, you think you love her. Now I'm just really confused. Why, Beca? Why would you say that? I hope it's not part of some sort of a scheme, or so help me god, I'm going to bury you alive. I don't know what's happening inside that unpredictable head of yours, honestly, or what exactly do you want from Chloe. That's why I came here today." She pauses with a sigh. "I just really need you to promise me one thing, Beca."

I can't believe how serious Aubrey is. After all, it's her best friend we are talking about.

She grabs my shoulders and looks at me intently, "I need you to promise me that you will never hurt Chloe."

I don't have to think about my response to that because right now, in the middle of this really confusing conversation with Aubrey, it's the only clear thing in my head.

"I promise I will never hurt Chloe."

And for the first time ever, I thought I would never live to see this happen, Aubrey smiles at me sincerely. So I smile back at her. It's not the usual forced smile I throw at people. I smile at her out of genuine happiness. After all, like I said, Aubrey and I are the same. We can fight about everything in the world but we will always agree about protecting Chloe.

* * *

_Knock, knock._

"Open it, Beca."

Kimmy Jin looks up from her homework to shoot me a glare.

"What makes you think it's mine?"

"I'm sorry, am I the one who keeps on having people over?"

I roll my eyes. Bitch.

_Knock, knock._

I open the door, "What is it?"

Chloe has a playful smirk on her face.

"Come on, Beca, quit being so cranky. I've got a surprise for you."

I close the door behind me.

"Um, Kimmy Jin's inside."

"Good, because I'm taking you out."

Ever since that drunken Bella sleepover, Chloe has been all jumpy and touchy like before. It's almost back to normal between the two of us. Probably, she and her boyfriend have worked out their dilemma. The fact that she has a boyfriend still stings me, but I figure that as long as Chloe radiates like sunshine again, I'm more than happy. So I jump into her car when she told me so, and let her drive me to the lake. First, we have a song, now we have some sort of a hideout. Just for the two of us. I guess this _relationship_ is moving forward.

"Close your eyes," Chloe orders me.

I close my eyes and let her guide my way.

"This better be something good, Red, because my Philosophy essay is waiting back in my dorm room to be completed. It's due tomorrow."

"Since when did you start doing your homework?"

"I don't intend to fail all my subjects, Red. Maybe just a few."

She giggles.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now."

Slowly, I open them. I find myself standing at the end of the dock. There's a picnic set for two complete with scattered rose petals over the picnic blanket and a scented candle standing in the middle.

"Wow," I hear myself say.

Chloe rushes to the picnic area, dragging me with her, and shows me a brand new acoustic guitar.

"This one's for you."

"You don't have to do this, Red."

"I know, but I want to."

She hands me the guitar.

"Thank you. I like this better than the old one."

"I already named it Chester," she says excitedly.

"Chester," I repeat mockingly, even raising an eyebrow.

"It's the first thing that came to my mind," she hits my arm playfully.

I chuckle, "But really, thank you."

"Just think of it as your prize for being the last Bella standing in 'I've Never'. I was pretty drunk myself."

"'I'm not drunk'," I mimic her drunken voice.

"Oh shut up."

I laugh as we both sit down.

She passes a plate with a slice of Graham cake to me.

"You did this all by yourself?"

"Yes," she answers proudly. "Because I'm awesome."

I shake my head, "Too much, Red, too much."

"You still owe me a guitar lesson. Don't think I've forgotten all about that, huh? It's the only reason why I bought you Chester."

"Chester," I laugh again.

She rolls her eyes, "It's a really good name."

"I know," but still, I'm laughing.

"Give me Chester," she demands.

I hug the guitar, "You gave it to me already!"

"Give it back to me."

"What are you going to do with _my_ guitar?"

She takes a _Sharpie_ pen out of her bag, "Just give it back for a few seconds!"

I half-heartedly hands the guitar to Chloe. I watch her turn it over and start to scribble words on the back of it. She hands it back to me afterwards.

_You're my Wonderwall. Beca + Chloe_, it says.

I stare at it for a moment and let myself smile.

"Do you like it?"

I just keep on staring.

"Beca."

Not that I'm ignoring her, I'm just really busy reading the inscription over and over in my mind.

"Oh give it back to me if you don't want it!"

She abruptly tries to steal the guitar away from me, but I quickly pull it back from her and hug it tightly in my arms.

"Hand it over, Beca."

She still tries to reach for it but I shift my position to secure the guitar in my arms.

"Beca!"

"I love it!"

I yell out, and she stops.

"I really love it, okay?"

I give her the biggest grin I possibly can, and she laughs.

"Who knew you can stretch your facial muscles like that?"

"I've got better penmanship than you though."

She gasps, "Aca-excuse me?"

I give her no response and simply proceed with eating my slice of Graham cake.

"Beca!"

I just give her an innocent glance, but no further response. I know this would annoy her – unfinished conversation. Suddenly, an apple pie slaps into my face. I gasp. I hear Chloe laughing at me.

"I may be small, Red," I speak slowly as I wipe off the remnants of apple pie on my face. "But I'm going to make you pay for that."

"Ooh. Should I be scared now?"

"Oh you better be."

She giggles, "Let's see what you can do, Beca."

"Run!" I exclaim.

Chloe quickly stands and jumps into the water and I follow her. I start splashing some water towards her then she starts doing the same thing to me. She's laughing hysterically and I can't help but join her.

"Is that all you can do, Red?"

I try to swim towards her, closing the enormous gap between us.

"Stop right there, Mitchell."

I ignore her command and continue moving forward until she's just inches away. I'm still laughing along with her but then I realize how close we are again. Now I can hear my heart beating rapidly. I find her eyes and I'm easily drawn once again. I guess she noticed because then she stops laughing and splashing some water, and finally settles down. Now we are just staring into each other's eyes. She doesn't move. She doesn't move but I find myself leaning in. I figure that there is no sign of rain to stop us this time.

"_Baby, I love you  
__I never want to let you go  
__The more I think about  
__The more I want to let you know  
__That everything you do is super fucking cute  
__And I can't stand it."_

Unfortunately, there's this phone ringing that brought us back to reality. I quickly move backwards, the distance between us hurriedly increasing. She shifts her eyes away from mine and starts to swim towards the edge of the dock.

"That's my boyfriend calling," she has to tell me that. "I should probably take that."

"You should," I mutter back feeling a little embarrassed of what I could have stupidly did.

* * *

"So how's my favorite daughter in the world?" I hear my mother's cheerful voice on the other end of the line.

I mumble, "I'm your only daughter, mom."

She laughs at my remark.

"So why the sudden call, sweetie?"

I sigh.

"I miss home."

That's half of the entire truth. I kind of miss the old life I used to have in Michigan. It was just me and mom. I had no Phil, no Barden Bella, no 'girlfriend', and no Chloe Beale to worry about.

"Why don't you tell me about your recent adventures, huh?"

"Well, I'm going to meet Stan's girlfriend really soon."

"I'm sure you'll adore her."

"I hope so."

"Give her a chance, Beca."

"I am giving her a chance, mom."

"Good."

I sigh again.

"Now is that all you wanted to tell me?"

I think about Chloe. I think about my feelings for her. I think about how I almost kissed her yesterday. I think about how she's killing me softly right now.

"Beca, sweetie? You still there?"

"Yes, mom, I'm still here."

"I know you, Beca. What's bothering you?"

I hesitate for a moment.

"What if I tell you I'm falling in love with someone?"

"That's good. At least we finally prove that you're a human being, dear, and that you're actually capable of 'falling in love'. We need to give CNN a call right now."

I groan, "Mom!"

I hear her laugh.

"Now what if I tell you," I swallow hard. "that I'm falling for a girl?"

Quite frankly, I was expecting my mom would get really mad and disappointed that she would either be shouting at me on the phone or she would be completely speechless. I prefer the first option because a speechless mom only means that I've certainly upset her. But then I hear her speak too casually like we are just having the usual conversation about what to include in the grocery list.

"Okay."

"What do you mean 'okay'?"

"I mean, does it really matter? You're in love. That's all I need to know."

I sigh. I'm such a lucky bastard.

"I love you, mom."

"I love you too, sweetie."

I hear her smile. It's not every day that we get to have this kind of a moment.

"But something tells me that you haven't confessed your feelings yet, and it's killing you now. Don't you dare tell a lie. Been there, done that, Beca."

I softly chuckle.

"So what do I do?"

"What do you think you should do?"

"I'm scared, mom."

I feel my mom roll her eyes, "Just tell her already! You'll never know how she feels if you don't tell her."

"She has a boyfriend."

"It doesn't matter. Just tell her how you feel."

"What if-"

"Whatever that 'what if' of yours in your crazy head is," my mom cuts me off. "I'll still be here for you. And Stan, you know."

I smile knowingly.

"Thanks, mom."

"Promise me you'd tell her?"

I let out a deep sigh.

"I promise."

* * *

_Song Titles: (Chapter Title) Naïve – The Kooks (2) Can't Stand It - Nevershoutnever_

**Disclaimer: Pitch Perfect**


	6. Moment of Truth

_Many thanks to everyone! :) Almost 100 follows and 45 reviews for 5 chapters. This is really awesome! :))_

_**soxylady27: **I'm sorry I wasn't able to answer any of your questions in this chapter. Perhaps, the next?  
_

**_Marauder Neyo, LaRevolte, Michikame: _**_I just feel so sad for Beca. It's supposed to be her first love, her first fairytale :(__  
_

**_BG-13: _**_We'll see about that :)_

**_Guest (you know who you are): _**_Exactly! I want to punch them too. Lol. I hope we could gather them together and have them talk but I guess that would ruin the entire story :D _

**_So... here's the 'Moment of Truth'..._**

* * *

CHAPTER SIX: **Moment of Truth**

Foundation Day seems to be one of the most anticipated events in Barden University. Aside from the fact that classes are being cancelled during that time, every year, the Student Council is tasked to organize a bunch of activities. A mini carnival is set up at the school grounds which will serve as the center of the entire affair. Along with some rides and attractions will be various booths to be sponsored by different school clubs and organizations. The various music clubs which includes a capella groups, thus, the Barden Bellas will be sponsoring the mini band concert that will go on the entire day until midnight. Perhaps, in general, the Foundation Day in Stan's words is 'the best day in Barden University'. So it didn't surprise me at all that it's been the talk of the town ever since the Student Council started handing out flyers and posting up posters everywhere. Even Kimmy Jin, for instance, has started 'advancing' with her advanced reading so she doesn't have to 'skip all the fun'.

"If you get yourself drunk on Foundation Day, don't you dare come home, Beca," Kimmy Jin blatantly warns me.

"I can't promise you that, Kimmy."

Kimmy Jin throws a death glare at me but I try to ignore it as I lie restlessly on my bed.

My initial plan for Foundation Day was to stay in my dorm room and sleep until the next day comes, but then I received this text message from Stan yesterday. Apparently, I am going to be a part of a bigger plan on Foundation Day. He decides it's the best time of the year and the best place in the world for me to meet his so-called girlfriend. Because I already decided that I'd try to give her a chance, thanks to a drunk Chloe, I am left with no other choice but to meet them up at the activity area. So really, I can't promise Kimmy Jin whether or not I'll go home drunk on Foundation Day. I guess it will all depend on how well the meet-up will go.

"Kimmy?"

I don't expect her to respond, but right now she's the only option I've got.

"What, Beca?"

I can tell by her voice that she is annoyed by my attempt to start a conversation or probably, just by my mere existence.

"Wish me luck, will ya'?"

That's all I really need, actually. I can't see it but I can tell that my roommate just rolled her eyes at me. I'm starting to memorize Kimmy Jin's ways.

"Yeah, okay, whatever."

I know it's doesn't have the touch of the rightful amount of concern, but I think it will do. It's Kimmy Jin, after all. At least she didn't simply stare at me or worse, ignore me. I guess we are raising our roommate relationship to a higher level now.

"Thanks, Kimmy Jin."

I close my eyes slowly and drift off to sleep.

* * *

Cynthia Rose, Stacie, and Fat Amy invited me out the next day for some coffee break. I don't drink coffee but I accepted the invitation anyway. There have been a lot of things going on in my mind lately. The conversation I had with my mother last time has been on repeat in my head. I made a promise to her that I'll eventually tell Chloe how I feel about her. That in itself is enough reason to drive me nuts. Too much pressure mentally and emotionally. Then, the thought of finally meeting Stan's girlfriend, finally has some good use to me, is enough distraction. I don't know what to expect or how to approach her. Should I be nice to her for Stan's sake or should I just be grumpy? And what if she turns out to be some kind of a bitch that I will probably despise her for the rest of my life?

"Oh boy, that's not the face of someone excited for the Foundation Day."

Cynthia Rose pats my back.

"That's because I'm not," I mutter.

"Why are you not excited? It's the Barden Foundation Day!"

I sigh, "I'd rather be somewhere else, you know."

"It's going to be nothing but fun, Beca."

Stacie leans forward that it's too hard not to notice the better view of her cleavage. I'm sure the frat boys sitting on the nearby booth just behind me are restless right now. I start to think Stacie did it on purpose.

"There's going to be some rides and attractions," the brunette tries her best to entice me.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Stacie."

"I'm sure there will be some interesting booths somewhere."

"I doubt."

"At least please be enthusiastic about the bands, Beca," she finally pleads.

Cynthia Rose adds, "Alcohol will be free for all."

"That I'm going to need," I sloppily rest my head on the table. "Can we start that now?"

"What's the matter with you and Chloe?" Fat Amy suddenly asks. "You two are so anxious about the Foundation Day."

I lift my head up a little from the table, giving Fat Amy a look, careful not to display the huge amount of interest I have on the latest news.

"Yeah," Stacie nods her head slowly. "I heard her tell Aubrey about being nervous about such a 'fateful day'."

What could be the reason to make a confident Chloe nervous about Foundation Day?

I tilt my head to the side, "Did she tell her why?"

"Um, nope. I don't remember."

Deep sigh.

"Anyway," Fat Amy shows us a handful of paper strips. Each of the strips has her number neatly printed on it. "I'm ready for the Foundation Day."

"What are those?" Cynthia Rose inquires.

Fat Amy grins flirtatiously, "Just my number. I just hope I made enough strips for all the guys."

I make a mental note to myself that I probably don't want to cross paths with Fat Amy at the activity area or I'll probably regret it.

Even Jesse has plans for the upcoming event. Those times that he doesn't have to work backstage, he will be in one of those movie booths. That's what I thought. He offers to keep me company, but I politely decline.

"It's going to be a big day for me. I'm going to meet my brother's girlfriend."

He nods, "Oh. Big day it is."

"Any advice?"

"You want me to give you an advice," Jesse displays a surprised expression on his face.

"Yep."

"Okay," he pauses for a moment. "My Literature professor likes to say 'begin with the end in mind'. What do you want to achieve after meeting her, Beca?"

Wow, I haven't thought about that yet. I have been too focused about what kind of approach to use that I have not thought about the consequences of my potential mode of actions.

"A. Do you want to like her after? Or B. Do you want to hate her after?"

"Do I really have to choose?"

Jesse throws me a look.

"Okay, fine. A. At least, that's what I think I want to achieve."

Jesse goes back to stacking CDs pushing aside his interest on the subject like nothing has happened.

"Forget it, Beca."

"Come on, Jesse. Give me some advice."

"I'm telling you, you might not agree with it."

"Fire away," I shift my body to face him completely, sending him the message that he has my full attention.

He takes a deep breath then says, "Don't be yourself."

I crook my eyebrow.

"What kind of an advice is that?"

He shrugs, "Don't be Beca."

"What do you mean 'don't be Beca'?"

He glues his eyes on the CDs.

"I mean, '_the_ Beca' will definitely brush her off. There is no way in hell that '_the_ Beca' will give her a chance and let her in. You already have a thousand barricades set up around you, but then I bet you will be setting up more. You will be setting up bombs everywhere that would detonate every time she speaks or moves or breathes. If you do that, you'll only see her the way you want to see her or the way you have always perceived her, Beca. If that will be the case, I suggest to you that you should call your brother right here right now and cancel. Tell him you can't do it."

I become quiet for a moment. I shut my mouth and not say a word because Jesse is right. '_The_ Beca' can never truly give this girl a chance.

"How did you know that not being myself will make me like her?"

Jesse finally turns to me, "Because it worked on me."

Now I can't look at him. I let my eyes fall on the floor and let my gaze linger there for a while.

"How many times did I ask you out on a date before you finally agreed? '_The _Beca' will never accept my invitation because that is just how you are. So the mere fact that you accepted an invitation means that you went beyond yourself. And look at us now. You're actually talking to me."

I let out a small laugh.

"God, you're asking me for advice, Beca!"

I look up to him. Suddenly, I feel the urge to ask it. I need to ask him about something. I need him to tell me what I have been scared about.

"Was it hard?"

He gives me a questioning look.

"Was it hard to tell someone you like her?"

"Honestly, I'm just really glad you didn't punch me on the face," he softly chuckles.

"Weren't you scared?"

"Scared as shit."

"So why did you do it?"

"Because I like you," I watch a smile appear on Jesse's face. "I like you and I had to tell you that."

"I didn't say it back."

He shrugs, "It doesn't matter. I still like you."

"Is it worth it?"

"Yes," he slowly nods his head.

"I'm sorry, Jesse, I can't figure it out," I lie.

It's a big fat lie because the truth is I've got everything figured out. I like him, but not the way he likes me. I like him, but I'm in love with someone else. And I have already figured that I can't tell him the truth because it will only hurt him. You see, this is the thing about letting people in. They get too close, and then suddenly you're afraid to hurt them. So sometimes, we have to create these crazy white lies because we believe it's going to protect them from a potential heartache. But sometimes it bothers me, will it really be enough?

"It'll probably take forever for me to sort my feelings out."

"I think I'll take my chances."

I shake my head, "I can't put you through that, Jesse."

"Just let me be… please?"

I sigh, "Okay."

"Tell you what," he sits on the table. "If your meet-up with your brother's girlfriend turns out to be an epic fail, call me and I'll come to your rescue."

He gives me a wink, and I laugh at his idea.

I nod, "I'll remember that."

* * *

_"She said 'let's change our luck'  
__This night is all we've got  
__Drive fast until we crash this dead-end life"_

So here it goes. Today comes the Foundation Day. This is the day I have been most dreadful about, but here it is.

_"Sweet dreams that won't come true  
__I leave it all for you  
__Brick walls are closing in  
__Let's make a run tonight."_

I listen to the song of _We The Kings _as I stand at the front gate to the activity area. I have seen Aubrey bossing people around. I have seen Denise and Jessica enter as well. Even Kimmy Jin had entered the activity area with her Korean friends. Yes, I have been standing right here for one whole hour, and I still haven't made my mind whether or not I want to go in.

"_Blinded by the light.  
__Hold you through forever, won't let you go."_

I take a deep breath and stare at the single-stemmed rose I'm holding. It's for Chloe. If Stan thinks this is such a lucky day that he wants his girlfriend to meet his grumpy little sister then this is probably the best day for me also to tell Chloe the truth about my feelings for her. After that little conversation with Jesse, I became motivated to do this. I like Chloe. Actually, if you ask me, I _love _her now, and I guess I have to tell her that. I narrowed her possible reactions to two: either she reciprocates the feelings or rejects me. That's just how far I have thought about this, honestly.

My phone beeps and I read a text message from Stan:

_Where are you?_

I shakily reply back:

_I'll see you at the grounds. Need to do something first._

I take another deep breath, deeper than the first one, and finally, drag myself inside the activity area. Spell 'chaos' and that's what this whole festivity looks like. There are people everywhere. I hate people.

"Beca!"

I turn around to see Ashley with Lily.

"Good to see you here."

I try to hide my anxiety behind an awkward smile.

"You, too."

Lily opens her mouth and mumbles something I can't make out, so I simply ignore her.

"Have you, guys, seen Chloe?"

"Last time I saw her was at one of those roller coaster rides," Ashley points the direction to the ride. "I'm just not sure if she's still there."

I nod my head, "Oh that's okay. Thanks. I'll see you around, guys."

"Have fun, Beca!"

_Have fun, Beca_. If by 'fun' Ashley meant confessing to a girl you've been secretly in love with who has a boyfriend by the way and meeting up with your brother's girlfriend after that, then yes, I guess I'm going to have fun. Loads of fun, in fact.

I reach the roller coaster ride, but I see no sign of Chloe. I walk deeper into the activity area trying to find her. I strain my neck and look everywhere. This is one of those unfortunate moments that I wish I could have been taller.

"Beca!"

I look up to see Fat Amy enjoying a ride on the ferris wheel with some of the dudes from the swimming team. Oh no, not Fat Amy. I want to turn around, go to the opposite direction, but she starts waving at me. She already knows that I've seen her, so I stay. I stand right there and just wait for what she has to say.

"Come join us. This is so much fun."

Whatever definition Fat Amy has for the word 'fun', it certainly doesn't suit mine.

"I'm looking for Chloe," I yell so she could hear me out. "Have you seen her?"

Fat Amy starts looking around from on top of the ferris wheel. After some time, she looks down at me.

"Cotton candy," she yells back, pointing at a booth on the east side.

"Alright, thank you."

Who knew something good can come up from an interaction with Fat Amy? I don't know why but I think she deserves to have a salute. Then, I turn into the direction of where Chloe must be according to Fat Amy. I turn to the corner and I catch a glimpse of Chloe's electrifying red locks. Just as what Fat Amy mentioned, there she is. She patiently stands in line for cotton candy. I face her back, and start walking towards her, and with every step, I feel my heart beating faster than the previous.

"Breathe, Beca. Breathe."

I hold on to the single-stemmed rose I bought for Chloe for dear life. I start debating in my head if I still want to do this. Homosexual relationships have never been the norm in the society; the girl I'm in love with has a boyfriend; and I am certainly the worst person to fall in love with. I am nothing but a fool to think that there is even the slightest chance that Chloe might love me back, but I do. There is a 99.99% that this will end up in a rejection, but I'm still holding on to a blurry 0.01% that she will respond otherwise.

I remember that night when she was too drunk that I can't make out whether she was saying the real stuff or just plain non-sense. I am certain she was right about one thing though – that Aubrey thinks I am selfish and that I hate Chloe. I remember how desperate she was when she said 'Beca, I don't want you to stay away from me'. I remember when she asked me to sing her _our _song like some kind of a sweet lullaby. I remember the way she slept peacefully in my arms. Then, there at the lake, when I was leaning in to kiss her, I remember she didn't move. She didn't move to stop me or to back off or to push me away. Instead, she simply looked straight into my eyes. So yeah, it may sound so crazy and such a naïve assumption, but I think there might be a chance that this confession of mine will turn out fine.

"'_Cause if you jump I will jump too  
__We will fall together from the buildings ledge  
__Never looking back at what we've done  
__We'll say it was love  
_'_Cause I would die for you on Skyway Avenue  
__So what's left to prove  
__We have made it through."_

"Red."

Chloe turns around to face me. She looks surprised but flashes her usual charming smile.

"I-I need to talk to you," I stammer.

Suddenly, she looks just as nervous as me.

"I… You… This…"

I stop myself, and take a deep breath. Pull yourself together, Beca!

"What is it, Beca?"

"I am such a mess, _Chloe_," I tell her finally. I called her by her name to signify that I am being serious here, that I am not joking around at all. Problem is I don't know exactly what to say. Maybe I should have practiced in front of the mirror first or something.

"No, you're not."

Funny how she thinks I'm not when I know for sure that I am undeniably, inevitably, totally such a mess.

"When my parents divorced and Phil got married again, I became this lonely, mad, and pathetic person that I am. I started building these walls around me, not letting anybody in, because I am so scared that I might get hurt again. Now I don't know how you did it, but somehow you managed to get in. I hate most people, but I have grown to like you."

I stop to check on Chloe's face. I'm not even sure anymore if she can still follow what I'm trying to tell her. I have been mumbling and vomiting words that I can't even tell if they are still all making sense. My mind is spinning and my heart is beating so fast. I just want to tell her what I have to tell her, give her the rose, and just get this over with.

"Chloe?"

"Yes, Beca?"

"I…"

I stop myself. Make up your mind, Beca. If you're going to tell her, just tell her already!

"I…"

I'm just trying to push some air out of my mouth now because I seriously think I'm running out of it.

"You what, Beca?"

Chloe patiently waits for my response. She wears that encouraging expression every time she senses that I am about to give up, and so not wanting to waste her efforts, I think I'm just going to throw it all in once and for all.

"I think I'm in-"

"Beca," Stan's voice cuts me off.

I turn around to face my brother, "Stan."

He stands right there in front of me, holding two red cups. I briefly glance over his shoulder to check if he's with Luke but then I realize Luke is stationed at the music stage as he serves as the host for the entire thing.

"You've got company?" I ask him, but he doesn't respond.

I can't help but look at his face and I notice just how pale he looks. It's as if he is not prepared to see me at this very moment. The question is why.

Then, I see him glance over at Chloe and I turn around just in time to witness her give a nervous nod to my brother. I look back to Stan, and now he's walking past me and stops right beside the redhead. I look at Chloe's face and she definitely resembles Stan's current facial expression. It's that same nervous, guilty but apologetic, and hopeful expression that is manifested on their faces. I start to panic. This can't be. No, this can't be happening.

Stan hands one of the red cups to Chloe and wraps an arm around her until his hand settles on her arm just above the elbow. She gives him one quick look before resting her bright blue eyes on me. That is when I have fully realized what I wish I could have realized long before this damn moment. That is when I have finally put things together. That is when everything became so clear to me. Now I have the fucking answers to my fucking questions – why Aubrey seems to be so sure that I hate Chloe, why she has been so protective of her, why Chloe has been feeling too nervous about this day, why she thinks I am mad at her, why she thinks I'm going to stay away from her, why she started to distance herself right after I found out about my brother's girlfriend, why she suddenly becomes so happy when I agreed to give 'the girlfriend' a chance, how Stan has adored Aubrey and the Barden Bellas… Damn it. You are so goddamn stupid, Beca!

"Chloe is my girlfriend," Stan announces.

Honestly, I just really want to cry right now. I feel so frustrated, upset, disappointed, defeated, humiliated, angry, and most of all, betrayed. How could this happen? How can I not see this coming? The only person I have truly, madly, deeply fallen for suddenly turns out to be my brother's girlfriend. I want to hate Stan, but I just can't. I want to hate Chloe, but I just can't.

If I have the choice, I would turn my back and run away. I would run as fast as I could and run away to a place that is as far away as possible. I don't even have to wait for Aubrey; I could just bury myself alive. Normally, '_the_ Beca' will put up a brave face and act like I am some Titanium shit. But, this one time is different. Fuck looking so tough and so indifferent. I can seriously feel myself dying inside, and it's the worst feeling ever.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Beca."

I hear Chloe's sympathetic voice. I look at her sorry face and I wish I didn't because it only sucked all the remaining hope I have with me. This is why I don't let anybody in. You let them in, then you are giving them every right to hurt you. I seriously thought Chloe could be different, that even if I hand her over the knife and spread my arms open wide giving her the full freedom to stab me to death, she would only shower me with rainbows and butterflies instead. I let her in because I thought her hands would heal every wound in my heart. But I didn't know that her hands can only bruise all that's left of me.

I force my lips to curve into a smile.

"I'm happy for you two."

White lie.

Stan hurries to give me a tight hug. He has the biggest grin I have ever seen on his face, and as mandatory, I have to be happy for him. Moments after, he frees me. I find myself engaged to a staring contest with Chloe. I thought it would go on forever, and for a moment, I thought I could just live with that. But then, she slowly walks towards me and envelopes me with her warm embrace. Chloe would always hug me, but I notice that this one is different. Not just because it is longer than the usual. Maybe it is the message that comes with it. It is not her typical 'Beca, I am so happy'. I don't know, but it's as if Chloe Beale is trying to bid me goodbye. I don't want her to say that, but still, I have to embrace her back. This is the ultimate torture. Therefore, I subconsciously let go of the single-stemmed rose now deemed completely useless. There is no way in hell now that I'm going to tell Chloe that I love her. I look down and I helplessly watch a curly-haired guy step on it as he passes by. He doesn't know it but he didn't just step on an ordinary single-stemmed rose. Now that seems to be my irreparably broken heart.

* * *

_So yeah, I got my heart broken too :( I know this is not the scene you were all expecting but I hope you liked it. This is definitely the most difficult chapter to write yet. I had to think and feel like Beca and it was so depressing..._

_Song Titles: (Chapter Title) Moment of Truth - FM Static (2) Skyway Avenue - We The Kings_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect.**


	7. Between the Lines

_I'm so sorry for the really really long wait.. I'm so overwhelmed to see all those reviews because there's lots of you who put in their reviews who didn't before. I guess Chapter 6 is a very special chapter then XD There are really lots of theories from you, and thank you for sharing them, I'm just afraid I might fail you with the direction of the story that I decide it to be. I hope you guys keep reading. Thank you so much again! :)_

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN: **Between the Lines**

Two hours after midnight, I lie awake in my bed. I try to recall why I am silently crying my eyes out so that I don't get to disturb my drunken Asian roommate from her good night sleep.

As per request, I spent the entire day and night with Stan and his girlfriend who turned out to be the one and only Chloe Beale. I followed them everywhere they went. We rode on a roller coaster and I sat patiently across them on the ferris wheel. One time, Stan played some basketball shooting and of course he won, and as a prize was this huge pink teddy bear for Chloe. Later on, we ate some barbeque for dinner. They started telling me some things about their love story. They first met at a paintball game. It was Aubrey's first time and so Chloe approached this stranger, Stan Mitchell, and asked him to take a picture of them, and as they say, the rest is history. So, it was him. It was him who took that cute picture which currently decorates Aubrey's bedside table.

"_I'm talking to what's left of you  
__And watching what I say  
__Counting all the freckles on your perfect face"_

I wanted to go home so badly, but Stan insisted that I join them at the concert area and listen to the remaining bands. Fuck Matt Nathanson for singing one of the saddest songs ever. I sat there helplessly at the grass with my brother next to me and Chloe on his other side. I watched them cuddle up and I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I watched how Chloe laughed at Stan's stupid jokes. I watched Stan kissed her hair after he whispered 'you're beautiful'. I watched them closely and I thought how perfect they are for each other like they were essentially destined to be together. Now how can I ever compete with that? How can I ever compete with Stan? It's not even a contest. I have lost the battle even before it has begun.

"_So what happened to bulletproof weeks in your arms  
__What happened to feeling cheap radio songs  
__What happened to thinking that the world was flat  
__What happened to that"_

I have never seen two people so in love with each other. That's Chloe and Stan. At first, as I spent the entire evening with them, I honestly thought I was just watching my brother with his girlfriend. But then I realized what was actually happening the whole time – that I was watching the girl of my dreams slip away from me. No, I was watching myself letting go of Chloe. And although I know for sure that I have never loved anyone the way I love her now, I'm just going to have to be okay with that.

* * *

The next day, I wait for Aubrey Posen at the entrance of the School of Economics Building. I know that every Friday at nine o'clock in the morning, she has a class on Advanced Macroeconomics. I check my phone and it says '8:40'. I've been sitting here at the front steps since 7:00 not wanting to miss The Captain. I spent the entire night lying on my bed, thinking about Chloe and Stan. Forget about breakfast or sleep; I wait patiently for Aubrey because I desperately need to talk to someone. I desperately need to talk to her or so help me god, I'm just going to kill myself now.

Fortunately, I find her fast approaching. I check my phone again, and the time now reads '8:42'. Her classroom is on the second floor of the enormous building so if she speeds up, she will probably make it right before Professor Brown, the most punctual professor I have ever known. It's the fastest brisk walking I've ever seen, all her poise fading away with every step.

"Aubrey," I call out her name as I quickly stand and wave at her.

It is either she didn't hear me out or she did hear but simply chose to ignore me.

I hurry to meet her at the door, "Aubrey, I need to talk to you. Please."

"Can we find another time for this, Beca? I'm going to be late for class if I don't hurry."

"No, I really need to talk to you now. It's something _really_ important to me."

"Later. We'll talk before Bella rehearsal."

"I'm going to kill myself if you don't talk to me now!"

I realize I was almost yelling, and with that statement, Aubrey finally stops and turns around to face me.

"What the hell do you want, Beca?"

Now I am just staring at her. I don't know where to start. And honestly, I don't know how to feel about Aubrey. Clearly, she knew that Chloe has been dating my brother, and clearly, she knew that I am Stan's sister. She also knew that I am in love with Chloe for Christ's sake. She knew what was going on entirely from the very start, but she didn't care enough to say anything to me. Instead, she came to me and made me promise not to hurt her best friend. But what about me then? Newsflash: I'm the one who just got heart broken.

She checks her watch, "Beca, I don't have all day for your shit."

Yes, I am aware of that. So I take a deep breath and look at her straight in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She looks confused for a moment.

"Tell you what?"

"Chloe and Stan."

Aubrey shakes her head, clearly getting annoyed that her time is being put to waste.

"What about Chloe and Stan?"

"You knew they were dating."

She nods assertively, "Yes."

How can she be this casual about it? She knew!

"So why didn't you tell me?"

She crosses her arms on her chest, "What do you mean I didn't tell you?"

"You knew all along that they are dating, and you knew that I am in love with Chloe." I pause to swallow the growing lump in my throat. "How could you let that all happen? God, you even made me promise not to hurt her. Now guess who's fucking hurt right now."

Aubrey suddenly lets her hands fall down to her sides. Her facial expression slowly turns from annoyance to a little bit of confusion with a mixture of contemplation.

"I know she's your best friend, Aubrey, and I understand that you're trying to look after her. But don't you think that I also deserve to know? Instead of saying 'don't you dare hurt my best friend, Beca' you could have told me 'back off, she's your brother's girlfriend'! You knew exactly what the hell was going on the whole time! How could you let all of this happen? Do you know how I feel right now, huh? Damn, I am so fucking hurt. And I feel so much betrayed. It's like you, Stan, and Chloe… all of you planned all of these. I look like some kind of a fool. No, I look like a goddamn fool!"

I stop, catching my breath. I was practically yelling at Aubrey. And I don't care. I don't care anymore. I don't care if she yells back at me or if somebody hears me or if some professor scolds me. I am so hurt right now and so I feel like everybody has to bear with me.

"Oh my god," Aubrey's eyes widen and her jaw drops on the floor. "You didn't know…"

Of course, I didn't know!

Aubrey shakes her head, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you didn't know."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"I-I thought you were planning some kind of a scheme," she stammers. "You know, I thought you were trying to break them up or something. Stan said you don't like the idea of him having a girlfriend, so I assumed that when you said you love Chloe, you were only saying that to befriend her and to make her vulnerable and so you could easily hurt her in the end."

"I never knew that Stan's girlfriend is Chloe," I weakly say.

Aubrey sighs.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Beca."

The two of us become quiet for a while. Aubrey's class on Advanced Macroeconomics is now completely forgotten and out of the top of our priority list.

"I just thought that when you joined the Bellas you already knew," The Captain explains. "I mean, I-I _figured_ Stan would tell you about Chloe right away. I thought he forced you to join the Bellas because he knew that we _desperately_ need new recruits. You know, honestly, I was so confused myself. How could you do a favor to someone you obviously despise? How could you be so happy and all different when you're around her but act like the complete opposite when you talk about her to Stan? Now I guess I finally understand."

I hear myself chuckle bitterly. I let every word sink into my head. It's kind of a funny story if you ask me. So Aubrey did not know that I was not aware of the situation. So it was some kind of an _honest_ mistake. Should I thank her for that? But really, I can't totally blame Aubrey. I guess she was just trying to protect her best friend from what was supposedly my evil plan to hurt her for being my brother's girlfriend.

"Thank you, Aubrey, for your time. And I'm sorry that I yelled at you."

As soon as I tell her this, I turn around and start to head out.

"Beca."

I stop but I refuse to turn around and face her again because my eyes are now filled with tears. I don't want Aubrey to see me this way.

"Had I known that you didn't know, I would have told you the truth."

I nod my head absentmindedly. It doesn't matter now, does it?

"I care enough about you, okay?"

I take a deep breath and bravely speak out, "Please excuse me if I don't get to attend practice later."

I don't bother to wait for her reply. I simply pull myself together and walk away.

* * *

"So tell me about last night," Jesse has been urging me to tell him the story. "I was waiting for your call, expecting that the meet-up would have turned into a total disaster. But surprise, surprise. Nothing came. So I'm guessing it went very well."

I simply give him a shrug.

"What the hell is that response? Come on, Beca. Spill it out. So you do like your brother's girlfriend, huh?"

I like her so much I want her to be mine. So yeah.

"I don't want to talk about it, Jesse."

"Oh, so it was a disaster," he smirks. "Why didn't you give me a call then? I told you I would have come to your rescue."

"It's too complicated."

"What do you mean 'it's too complicated'?"

I sigh. I realize that Jesse will only keep the questions coming until I give him satisfactory answers. Might as well feed him with some information now before he asks the difficult ones.

"You know Chloe Beale, right?" He nods. "She's the girlfriend."

"And that's complicated because?"

"Because she is my friend which means that I already like her. Now I have no choice but to like my brother's girlfriend because they are the same person."

Yeah, I guess you can put it that way. But beyond that, the real reason is that it's complicated because I am completely in love with Chloe Beale.

"Well, isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" Jesse points out to me. "I mean, isn't that what you wanted to achieve in the first place? To like the girl after meeting her. Plus, she's already your friend. You don't have to force yourself to get to know some stranger and pretend like you adore her for your brother's sake because the thing is you already do."

I let out a deep sigh.

"Don't you think it's a little suspicious that they didn't tell me about the relationship right away?"

"Keep talking."

"The Barden Bellas needed new members. Of course, Stan would love to help Chloe. But he knew that if he tells me about her, I would hate her immediately, and I wouldn't want anything to do with the Bellas."

"So you're saying that they planned to keep it a secret so you would be convinced to join the Bellas, and then Stan could be some sort of a hero, and in the process, it opens up an opportunity for you to like Chloe."

I shrug, "What do you think?"

Jesse stops to think about all of it for a moment, and then he firmly shakes his head in disagreement.

"Nah, I don't think they planned all these."

I raise an eyebrow, "Why not?"

He suddenly starts laughing.

"I don't think they can ever do such a thing to you, Beca. You are much too important. Don't be so silly. And even _if_ they did, you know, I don't understand the difference it could make. I don't see how complicated things should be because after all, it's a win-win thing. Right?"

You don't get it, Jesse.

"I just wish they could have told me right away."

Because I really do wish they could have told me about it way before I let myself fall for Chloe. Stan could have just told me when I got here or Chloe during the Aca-Initiation Night because that could have made a huge difference.

He nods, "I guess that's their stupid mistake right there."

Suddenly, the door opens and I see my brother enters the station with a box of _Krispy Kreme_ on his hand.

"What are you doing here?" I question.

"There's the third degree again," he settles the box on the table and gives me a quick hug. "I'm good, and it's nice to see you too, my _little_ sister."

I roll my eyes at the mention of my miniature physique.

Luke walks out of the radio booth when he saw Stan for a surprise visit.

"Dude, how are you? How's Chloe?"

So that's why Stan never bothers to pay me a visit here at the radio station. He knew too well that Luke would ask about his girlfriend.

"We're great, man," Stan bump fists with Luke. "Thanks for asking."

"Beca's been awesome stacking CDs."

I roll my eyes again as they both laugh.

"Moving on," I pull Jesse to my side. "This is Jesse, by the way."

Stan gives me a playful look before shaking Jesse's hand.

"I'm Stan, Beca's brother. Nice to meet you, dude."

"It's nice to finally meet the Great Stan Mitchell," Jesse smiles. "I'm Jesse, and I'm… Beca's… stacking buddy."

My brother chuckles then turns to me, "How about you two join me and Chloe tonight? I'm taking her out. Bowling."

I deliberately shake my head at the invitation, "I-I don't think that's a ve-"

"I'm free," Jesse shrugs, cutting me off.

"Great," Stan claps his hands together, a wide grin plastered on his face. "It's a double date, then."

I groan as a hopeless protest because I don't want to go. After my failed attempt to a love confession yesterday and after that dramatic revelation from Aubrey this morning, the last thing I want is this. I just don't want to face Chloe now, hopefully for the rest of my life, because it's just too painful to see her knowing so well that she will never be mine.

* * *

I sink into my seat next to Jesse as we both watch Stan and Chloe stand at the approach area of the bowling lane.

"I still can't believe you put me through this," I hiss at Jesse who just ordered more nachos and fries.

He laughs and looks down at me, "I'm trying to do you a favor here. You're welcome, by the way."

"What favor?"

"Beca, whether or not I agree to join you guys, I am 100% sure that your brother will only insist that you should join them. _That_ is what I _won't_ put you through."

I sigh as I realize that his theory is in fact right. Stan would have not taken a 'no' for an answer. Whether I like it or not, I am joining them for some bowling night. I'm guessing this is his idea of sister-bonding-with-girlfriend.

"Thanks, Jesse."

"Didn't I tell you I'm coming to your rescue?"

He gives me a wink and I let him feed me with some fries. Jesse Swanson is one hell of a good guy. Okay, he is cute, sweet, kind, and such a gentleman. He's the kind of a person you want to be best friends with forever. And I guess he's the kind of a person you want to bring home to your family, marry at the most romantic wedding ever, and just spend your entire life with. I am lucky enough that he likes me. I wish I could feel the same way for him though. I really wish I could just drop everything now and fall in love with this guy, but this stupid heart of mine can only feel nothing but pure friendship for Jesse. This stupid heart of mine just won't get over Chloe.

I shift my gaze from Jesse's face to Chloe and Stan. I can tell that they play bowling more often than I thought. Compared to how I have been playing all night, they release the ball knowingly like a pro. Nevertheless, I stiff a laugh when Stan only knocked down four out of the ten bowling pins and I hear a loud 'oh come on' from my brother. Yes, he is one of the best in basketball, but well, he just sucks at bowling. The redhead, on the other hand, managed to get a strike. I smile at her small victory.

"Baby, did you see that?" Chloe grins at my brother. "That's a strike!"

He chuckles, "That was really good, baby."

"Do it again, Chloe," I hear Jesse shouts from our seat.

So she excitedly picks up a bowl and positions herself at the approach. She takes a deep breath as Stan and Jesse cheer for her. I remain silent as I watch her intently. After a minute or so, she finally releases the ball almost exactly the same way she did on her first try. We patiently wait as it rolls down the lane then wipes off the ten bowling pins.

"Nice, Chloe!" Jesse exclaims.

Chloe raises her hands in the air in utter disbelief and amusement. Stan rushes to her side to give her a tight embrace and plants a kiss on her hair. I force my eyes to fall on the floor.

"Baby, that was pretty awesome."

I hear my brother's voice followed by Chloe's adorable giggles. I wish I didn't look up again because then I see my brother giving her a kiss on the lips and Chloe kissing him back. I feel something inside me just die. I can't do this anymore. I can't watch this so I rise from my seat. I just need to get out of here.

"Beca?"

I notice the confused look on Jesse's face but I simply stand there.

"Something wrong?"

Suddenly, I remember Jesse. I remember that he is actually sitting there with me. I was too busy getting jealous of what Stan and Chloe have that I forgot that I have Jesse who is ever willing to share that same connection with me that I just can't let happen. But I know what it feels like to watch someone you love walk away from you. It hurts a lot. I'm not going to do that to Jesse tonight. So I sit back down next to him.

"Are you okay?" his eyes follow my every move, a concerned expression is evident on his face.

I force a smile on my lips as an assurance.

"I'm fine. I was just… I'm fine. Thanks."

He nods his head, but I know he is not completely convinced.

"Is it just me or my girlfriend is awesome?"

Barden's golden couple walks back to their seat, their hands glued together.

Jesse chuckles, "She kicked your ass, man."

"Oh she can kick my ass any day," my hopeless romantic of a brother shoots a smile at Chloe.

She holds his face and briefly kisses him on the lips, "You are so charming, Stan Mitchell."

That's it. I quickly stand up and excuse myself. I'm sorry, Jesse, but I really need to get out of there, even just for a moment. I promise that I will be back, but for now, I just need to catch my breath. I need to know if I'm still alive because staying there watching Stan and Chloe go all lovey-dovey is frankly killing me.

I enter the restroom and stops in front of the mirror. I rest my hands on the lavatory sink for support as I stare at myself through the mirror.

"Idiot," I mutter to my reflection. "Such an idiot."

I take a deep breath and deliberately shake my head. I guess I'm starting to go insane. I'm talking to myself while I'm all alone in the restroom. You see, Chloe? You see what you're doing to me? I'm fucking going crazy because of you.

_Creak._

I turn my head towards the door where Chloe suddenly appears. I immediately move my eyes back to the mirror and stare at my stupid face again because I just can't look at her. She let herself in and stands next to me. She copies me and starts to stare at herself in the mirror as well.

"So," she speaks. "What are we staring at?"

"I don't know. All I can see is some brunette freak."

"Same freak here, only with red hair."

I proceed with washing my hand. I feel her bright blue eyes glance at me but I choose to ignore them. I focus my eyes on my hands, so she stares back into the mirror.

"You missed practice today."

"Jesse needed some help at the radio station."

Truth is I didn't want to face you, and it would really help if you would just leave me now.

"You two already dating?"

I laugh, "No."

"Do we have a problem, Beca?" she suddenly asks.

I casually reach for the tissue and wipe my hands dry.

"I don't know, Red. You tell me."

Chloe turns her entire body to face me.

"I thought you're happy, Beca."

"I am happy."

Big fat lie.

"I've seen the 'happy Beca' and that's not the face of it. You're just being… 'the Beca'."

I chuckle at her statement, "When did you suddenly become so expert about me?"

"Beca," she groans.

"What?"

Chloe lets out a deep sigh.

"If you have something to say, _anything_, please tell me."

Yes, Chloe, I have something to say to you. I love you. I love you, and I want you to be mine. I wish that you would look at me the way you look at my brother. I wish that you would kiss me the way you kiss him. And I wish that you would just love me back the way I love you. I wish I could tell you all of these right now. I wish I could just tell you the truth. But I know how it's going to end anyway. So I just won't bother. I have decided to save us both from potential awkward moments; you from possibly feeling guilty; and myself from being humiliated.

"I'm sorry," I tell her as sincerely as possible. "I'm sorry if you feel like we do have a problem. I think that you and Stan are so perfect for each other. You have my vote, so you don't have to worry about anything."

But Chloe only stares at me.

"I'm not going to stand in the way. I promise."

And that's what I intend to do. Even if it hurts, I won't stand in the way because I don't own Stan, and most importantly, I don't own Chloe. I don't have any right to ask her to stay with me or love me back.

"Promise is a big word, Beca."

I nod my head, "I know, Red."

Still, she keeps staring at me. What the hell, Chloe?

"I'm heading back to the guys now," I start to walk towards the door. "You coming or what?"

"You were saying," Chloe finally speaks again and so I stop and turn around not wanting her to think further that I have been avoiding her.

"I'm sorry, what?"

I don't know why but suddenly Chloe has this hopeful look on her face.

"Back at the cotton candy booth, during the Foundation Day, you said you needed to talk to me. And you had this little speech. Do you remember that?"

I remain still.

"You were about to tell me something before Stan cut you off."

"Um, y-yes," I stammer. "But just forget about it. It doesn't matter now anyway."

"But I want to know," she seems to be almost pleading.

"I don't remember anymore what I was supposed to tell you back then."

"You were saying 'I think I'm…'" she pauses to emphasize the missing part of the statement. "What, Beca? You think you're?"

I'm seriously surprised right now that Chloe still remembers it. With all the revelation that happened, I can't believe that it stuck in her mind. But I can't tell her anymore. I just promised that I'm not going to stand in the way. So I won't.

"Oh that," I pretend like I suddenly remember what I honestly have not forgotten at all. "I was supposed to tell you that… I think I'm going to give the girlfriend a chance because you gave me some pretty good advice back when you were very very drunk, Red."

I force a laugh and I hope Chloe would buy that and would just drop the fucking subject.

She doesn't react or move for the next few seconds, but then I'm glad that she finally nods her head and smiles.

"I think we should probably go back now," I beam at her one last time and hurriedly turn towards the door to avoid any more conversation on the topic.

"Beca?"

"Hmm?"

"Really, if you do have something to say, _please_ tell me."

"Okay," I reply absentmindedly as I push the door and finally walk out of hell.

* * *

**_Song Titles:_**_ (Chapter Title) Between the Lines - Sara Bareilles (2) Bulletproof Weeks - Matt Nathanson_

_So how was it? __This is probably not the kind of 'the next chapter' you were expecting, but well, everybody has a lots of questions already. I feel like I should start answering some of them._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.


	8. Martyr For My Love For You

_Wow. I honestly thought I would never get this far. Thank you so much, guys, for the continued love and support to this fanfic : ) *sigh* I read all of your reviews and honestly, I'm pressured right now because I see lots of theories/hypotheses/suggestions in there. Some wants BeChloe, some wants StanxChloe, then there's MitchSen, etc. I'm just really scared that I might disappoint you, guys, and so I'm really trying to give you all a good story. I can't give you all those pairings in the end, so I want to say sorry in advance : ( but I'm still hoping that you'd keep reading…_

_**CH, Guest, Daffusizers: **__I know you all hate me now (in a good way, right?) and I'm sorry, please just keep reading…_

_**Soxylady27:**__ great analysis! You have really good points. It's just unfortunate that we haven't explored Chloe's side yet…_

_**Marauder Neyo**__: I have never intended to hide anything. There's a reason why I labeled this story BeChloe :P_

_**Mrebel1992:**__ I know, right? That's why I used the song :)_

_**SuperGirl06:**__ I think we're kind of at the same page. LOL._

_**Avarenda, devildoc35, MysticFalls94: **__We all feel bad for Beca. I'm heartbroken too :'(_

_**Alpha49: **__Oh thank you :)_

_**MitchSen Shippers: **__Hmmm…._

_Okay, so here's the latest chapter :) SPOILER ALERT! I'm sorry that I didn't include the entire riff-off scene. I just don't think it would still be necessary to narrate it because, well, we all know what happened there…_

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT: **Martyr For My Love For You**

"Isn't she amazing? Chloe, I mean."

Stan smiles dreamily before shooting the basketball into the basket.

I catch the ball as I stand under the hoop. I couldn't agree more with my brother. Chloe is amazing. She's cute, adorable, friendly, charming, smart, talented… God, I am so in love with this girl. I sigh at the thought of it. _Stop it, Beca! Just stop._

"She's a keeper."

And I mean it. She definitely is worth keeping. It's just so unfortunate for me that I actually have to let her go.

Stan nods his head with that same I'm-so-in-love smile still plastered on his face.

"You know, every single day, I think about just how lucky I am to catch her at the right place at the right time. Remember what they say about destiny? I honestly thought it was ridiculous." He pauses to let out a laugh. "I didn't believe it, but I think it's what happened. I mean, I could have been somewhere else – the day I first met her – I don't know, I could have been… in my room, lying on my bed, or here at the gym, playing basketball… but I was out there playing some paintball. And I could have been too early, you know, that I must have left with my friends by the time she and Aubrey got there or perhaps, too late that she could have asked another guy to take that picture. But I was the one who was there… for some reason, I was there right in place and right in time to meet Chloe Beale."

I swear any woman could have fallen for that little speech that my brother just made. I never thought how romantic he could be. It's no wonder that Chloe is in love with him.

"You are such a cheeseball," I put on my best disgusted expression on my face and pass the ball back to Stan.

He laughs at my comment, "Jesse has to seriously make you fall in love with him. Fast. Then, you can be as _cheeseball_ as I am."

The fact is I'm in love, not with Jesse, but I'm hopelessly in love with my brother's girlfriend. I don't want him to know that so I simply roll my eyes.

"But thank you," he shoots the ball again then turns to look at me. "You've been nothing but nice to Chloe. Thank you for tolerating your _cheeseball_ of a brother."

"Hmm," I pass the ball again.

"Kiddo, the only reason why _we _didn't tell you is that I know you're not going to be happy about it. You proved me right when you ran away. And I was so scared. I thought you would never speak to me again. I asked Chloe not to tell you so please don't be mad at her."

"I said I'd give her a chance, didn't I?"

He nods and smiles, then shoots the ball again and I catch it as it falls down.

"I didn't think you'd audition, and I'm still a little surprised that you actually did, but I'm really glad that you decided to join the Bellas. I think it's a good bonding for you and Chloe."

"I joined the Bellas because you convinced me to," I pass the ball to him with much force this time because I realize that if it wasn't for that stupid a capella group, I won't probably find myself caught up in this emotional mess.

"You probably think I set you up, right?" he chuckles.

Isn't that the case? He tricked me into auditioning without the knowledge that the crazy redhead is his girlfriend, so I am forced to like her. Thanks so much, Stan.

"I would never do that to you, kiddo. Plus, I wasn't expecting that I'd convinced you in the first place because I know you're just _too stubborn_ to do it. I guess I could be very persuasive, huh?"

I scoff at him, and my brother subsequently has another goofy grin on his face. I watch him stand at the three-point section, and shoot the ball. Basket. Okay, so Stan never set me up. Of course, he's too good of a person to do that. I was wrong. He never intended for me to join the Bellas and like Chloe. It was never intentional. Damn it. _Maybe it's destiny._

"Pass me the ball, will ya'?"

But I hold on to the ball in my hands. Destiny. If Stan caught Chloe at the right place at the right time during that paintball game, and that was destiny's doing; then, maybe it's destiny as well that made me meet her at the right place at the right time during the activities fair. Maybe it was destiny that pushed her to barge into my shower. I smile at the memory of that shower incident. I look at the ball in between my arms, and I think about Chloe. I'm holding on to this faint hope that she could be mine. If Stan thinks it's destiny and that makes it all possible, then maybe I could root for that too.

But then he speaks to me again, "The ball, please?"

And everything just goes tumbling down. I pitifully laugh at myself because here I am again, thinking that I have a chance on making Chloe fall in love with me. I know it's such a crazy and foolish idea. So I nod at my brother and pass the ball to him. I pass Chloe back to him, and the sad part is that she has never even been mine.

"I need to ask for your help by the way," he shoots the ball.

I catch the ball after it went into the hoop, "What is it?"

"Chloe and I will be celebrating our first year anniversary. I'm thinking… a romantic dinner?" he looks at me with questioning eyes. "I want it to be really romantic, something really memorable and-"

I hear my voice cut him off, "Fine, I'll help you."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I pass the ball. "Cheeseball."

He chuckles, "Anyway, you, guys, ready for the riff-off?"

"What the hell is a riff-off?"

* * *

The riff-off was awesome. Who would ever think that a capella could be that awesome? Considering that it was a spontaneous synchronized singing with no other musical instrument but our voices. Finally, for the first time, I got to hear the Bellas sing songs other than _The Sign, Eternal Flame, _and _Turn the Beat Around_ and honestly, we sounded really good. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter to Aubrey that we sounded great because according to her we didn't win.

Not wanting to put this awesome night to waste, I convinced the other Bellas that even though we lost to the Treblemakers, we really did sound great for the first time that we at least deserve to have a good drink. Of course, the only way to convince Aubrey is to bargain – additional cardio to make up for such an unhealthy activity. It's probably a bad idea, and my groupmates are fully aware of that, but who's going to pass on alcohol?

"To the Barden Bellas."

After an hour and thirty minutes of drinking, everyone is already drunk. Denise and Ashley left sometime during the first thirty minutes. Jessica and Lily followed after a little while, and I wonder if these two can actually make it back to their respective dorm rooms. Cynthia Rose, Stacie, and Fat Amy are now playing _Jenga_ at the coffee table. I honestly don't know whether or not these three are playing it right. Chloe is seated on the couch with a bottle of vodkaon her hand, laughing drunkenly at the trio. I'm seated at the dining table across the very sober Aubrey Posen because I feel the urge of eating as much food as I can. I'm currently trying to finish off this plate of mac and cheese I found in the refrigerator.

I hear Aubrey let out a sigh, "This is what you get from playing _Power Hour._"

"And you suck, my friend, for not playing."

"You're drunk."

I laugh hysterically, "Nope."

She lets out a sigh again.

"You don't need to babysit us, okay? Just go to your room and sleep."

"No," she shakes her head. "That idea is just as bad as your _Power Hour _idea."

I point a finger at her, "And why is that a bad idea?"

"Because you're drunk, Beca. So I need to make sure that you don't do anything stupid," she has a serious look on her face again. Aubrey seriously needs to lighten up sometimes. "Look, I'm still thinking about… _our_ talk. I mean it when I said I care about you, Beca. You're drunk right now and I know just how upset you are about this whole 'Stan and Chloe' thing. Now I'm trying to look after you tonight."

I let out a laugh, "Don't feel so guilty. It's not your fault."

"I should have told you something," she insists.

I reach for her hand and smile at her. She eyes my hand on top of hers with a shocked image because even for me, it's something I thought I would never do in a million years. Aubrey must be putting the blame on the booze. But the truth is I'm not really drunk. I might be a little tipsy, but I'm not drunk. I just like to make them think that I am because it's much easier that way.

"Why did you stay, Beca?" she asks me out of the blue. "Chloe thought you'd walk away. I thought you'd walk away. She broke your heart, they did. So why, Beca? Why did you stay?"

"Cheeseball," I coo.

I see Aubrey roll her eyes, "Wow. You really are drunk."

See? This is a lot easier. I get to dodge the difficult questions especially when I don't have the answers to them yet. Yeah, why did I stay?

"We're going," Cynthia Rose, Stacie, and Fat Amy cheerfully announce to us.

They drag themselves towards the front door, holding on to each other, each with some _Jenga _pieces on their hands.

"I can't let them walk outside looking like that," Aubrey stands up, clearly annoyed. "Beca, stay with Chloe for a while, okay?"

I give her a nod as a response.

The trio rushes out at the sight of Aubrey coming towards them so The Captain has to chase after them to the hallway. I silently laugh and shake my head. These people are really weird, but funny. Yep, that's the kind of friends that I have, and I don't normally tell them, but I truly think they're really awesome.

"Hey, where did everybody go?"

I hear Chloe's drunken voice coming from the living room and so I hurry to her side. After a short while, I realize that I'm sporting a goofy grin on my face because of Chloe. The redhead is seated on the floor, her back leaning on the foot of the couch, I've never seen her hair this messy which I thought is not possible, and I can tell that she just woke up after briefly passing out. So I sit down next to her on the floor and fix her hair.

"Hey, Red, you okay here?"

"Beca!" she beams up like a child then gives me a hug.

"Okay," I try to reach out for the bottle of vodka on the coffee table and hide it away from Chloe. "You had too much to drink again, Red."

I hear her giggle.

"You are such a dork, Beca."

"And _you_ are going to have a _really_ terrible headache tomorrow," I smirk at her.

She snorts, "I am Titanium."

"Sure," I laugh. Okay, Stan said to bond with Chloe, right? I like to think it's what I'm doing here because I just really love talking to a drunk Chloe.

"You know, I don't normally drink like this. Sometimes, I do it only to clear my mind."

I'm suddenly curious.

"What's on your mind anyway, Red?"

"Nah," she shakes her head deliberately. "You don't want to know."

"What if I do want to know?"

She stares at me for a moment to finish with a laugh, "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Before I can respond to her, she starts to attempt standing up. She holds on to the couch and sloppily pushes herself up, but only to fall back to the floor.

I help her settle down again, "Careful."

"I'm fine," she slurs.

"Do you want to go to bed now?"

"No," she answers, but her eyes are now half-asleep while clutching on my shirt for support as she carelessly rests her head on my shoulder.

"Let's talk more."

"Okay. What else do you want to talk about, Red?"

"Tell me something I don't know," she murmurs.

I let out a small laugh. Tell Chloe something she doesn't know? If only she's not my brother's girlfriend, then I could have told her something she doesn't know. But it's not even an option now.

"I never told you that you are such a funny drunk."

She playfully pushes my face, "I'm not drunk."

I laugh at her and mimic her drunk voice. I just love doing that.

"Tell me more," she demands.

I sigh as I decide to take this seriously this time. She's drunk anyway.

"I never told you," I reach for her hand gripping on my shirt and hold it tight. "I never told you how beautiful I think you are."

She chuckles, "You sound like Stan."

Of course, she still thinks about her boyfriend. She's drunk, almost asleep on someone else's shoulder, but she's still thinking about her boyfriend. I guess, between the two of us, I'm the only one who thinks that what we have right here right now is something. Unquestionably, this is nothing, nothing at all.

"Sing to me," I hear her say.

"What do you want me to sing?"

She does not respond, possibly asleep now. But I keep holding her hand and carefully rest my head on top of hers, then start to sing anyway. This time, it's not Wonderwall. I don't want to be reminded that even after everything, she's still my Wonderwall. And it's just really hard to sing _our_ song when really there's no 'we'.

"_Settle down with me  
__Cover me up  
__Cuddle me in  
__Lie down with me  
__And hold me in your arms"_

"_And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck  
__I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
__And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now"_

"_Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
__You wanna be loved  
__You wanna be loved  
__This feels like falling in love  
__Falling in love  
__We're falling in love."_

Suddenly, I feel like I'm starting to understand more. It wasn't just destiny, it was me who made this happen. No, Stan did not convince me to join the Bellas. I realize now that it's just an excuse I made up. I try to convince myself that I joined the group because of Stan, but the truth is it was just me all along. I wanted to join the Bellas. I wanted to feel like I belong to something. That's what Chloe made me feel when we sung together in the shower, like I actually belong to her. So I joined the Bellas. For Chloe. For myself.

"_Settle down with me  
__And I'll be your safety  
__You'll be my lady  
__I was made to keep your body warm  
__But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms."_

"_And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck  
__I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
__And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now"_

Aubrey's question earlier starts running in my mind. 'Why did you stay, Beca?' Then, I remember the conversation I had with Jesse. About movies. I think I finally I get it. My hatred for movies is the irony of how I'm acting towards my love for Chloe. Movie endings are predictable, and so is the ending of my 'platonic relationship' with Chloe. But instead of hating her and walking away, I chose to stay. I know how it is going to be in the end, but I chose to stay. It's too predictable, really. I tell her I love her, she tells me she doesn't love me back, she walks away hand in hand with Stan, and I'll be left heartbroken all over again. But it doesn't matter because I love her, and because I love her, I'm staying right here no matter how it hurts to see her and to be with her right now.

"_Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
__You wanna be loved  
__You wanna be loved  
__This feels like falling in love  
__Falling in love  
__We're falling in love."_

I know I said that I'm happy and that I'm okay. I know I promised Chloe that I will never stand in the way. But we are all alone in this room, she's drunk with her head on my shoulder, and me holding her hand while I sing to her. I feel a tear slip from my eye and I stop to sing. I slowly lift Chloe's head and turn it to face me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to her, and lean in to kiss her on the lips.

I can't explain what it feels like – this kiss. It's delightful but painful at the same time. Nevertheless, I keep my eyes closed and keep my lips on hers. I wish I could kiss her forever. But who am I kidding? Aubrey's right. I'm going to do something stupid. She leaves for a short while, and suddenly I'm doing something pretty stupid. This is just one stupid drunken mistake. That painful truth sinks in to my head more when I slowly open my eyes and meet Chloe's bright blue eyes. I move back, and a surprised and equally confused expression is painted all over her face. Fuck.

"Chloe," I speak but she does not respond. "I-I'm… Look, I can explain."

I expect her to yell at me, slap me, punch me on the jaw, and ask me to get out of the room and get out of her life forever because I totally deserve that. But instead, she holds onto my shirt again, and pukes into my clothes. Okay, I didn't expect that at all. Again, Aubrey's right. _Power Hour_ was a bad idea, very bad idea.

* * *

Last night, I finally had the courage to kiss Chloe on the lips. I wasn't thinking right when I did that, but I'm glad that I did anyway. Forget about the part that she started puking on my clothes, I finally kissed her on the lips and I think that's all that matters. But okay, the puking incident deserves some laugh. So much for a first kiss with Chloe.

I feel alive for a moment, but suddenly dead again. What would she tell me now that she's finally sober enough to analyze what happened? Will it ever be the same between us? I know I made such a terrible mistake last night, and so I'm feeling extremely nervous when I received a text message from Chloe to meet her up for lunch. Should I prepare myself now for her grand rejection?

The old lady wearing the waitress uniform comes back to my table for the third time, "Do you want to order now?"

"Later," I sit patiently on the booth as I wait for Chloe at the diner. I know I'm too early for the meet-up but who cares? I'm nervous. "I'm still waiting for someone. Sorry."

I can tell she's fed up now because I hear her lets out a deep sigh as she grabs the menu away from me again, but suddenly, Chloe finally slides across me on the booth.

"Oh so you're waiting for my favorite customer," the waitress smiles towards Chloe. "How are you Chloe?"

"I'm great, Rowena," the redhead manages to giggle in spite of that tired look manifested on her face.

"Where's your super cute boyfriend?"

"He's taking an exam right now," she answers pleasantly then turns towards me. "This is Beca, by the way, Stan's little sister."

"_Younger_ sister," I emphasize.

"Oh," Rowena displays a disappointed look at me. Okay, so I'm not as friendly or as charming as my older brother but does she really have to give me that look?

"She's just usually shy," Chloe defends me. "But Beca's really wonderful."

So Chloe thinks I'm wonderful.

"I see," Rowena finally shoots me a smile, all thanks to Chloe. "Should I get you the usual, Chloe?"

Chloe nods her head, "Yes, please."

"And how about you, _younger _Mitchell?"

I quietly chuckle at what the old lady called me, "Make that two."

"Right away."

I watch Rowena go back to the counter. I let my eyes follow the waitress as she walks from one table to another doing her waitressing job. I purposely do this because I don't want to look at Chloe. It's either this or I stare at the boring surface of the table.

"As far as I know," I hear Chloe groan. "I'm the one who has a hangover."

I mimic her drunk voice again and end with a chuckle.

"Shut up, Beca."

"What?" I wear my best innocent look.

"You know, you're so tiny. Why are you so hard to get drunk?"

"For someone who has a hangover, you talk too much, Red."

She sticks her tongue out.

I chuckle again but suddenly I become quiet. I wait for her to mention about what happened last night, about the kiss. I wait for her to tell me that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore.

"Would you like to hang out with me this weekend, Beca?" she inquires.

"Um," I hesitate for a moment. Major why. "Aren't you going to attend Stan's basketball game?"

She shrugs, "Stan said you're not going."

"Phil will be there."

"I know," she smirks. "So spend the day with me then."

What? Spend more time with her? What happened? What happened to the kiss?

"Whatever you say, Red."

Rowena comes back with our order – two plates of spaghetti and meatballs plus two cans of _Diet Coke_.

"Enjoy your meal," Rowena grins.

"Thanks, Rowena," Chloe and I chorus as the waitress walks away to serve the other customers.

I start eating my food, avoiding her eyes. I'm still waiting for the moment of truth that she starts the real conversation about the kiss. However, she only went on and on about her classes and other random stuff. I'm dreading about it but I want her to tell me what she thinks about it so I take it as a responsibility to post the question.

"Aren't we going to talk about it?"

Chloe stops eating but does not respond.

"Don't you remember?" I ask for the only possibility I can think of as to why the topic has never been brought up yet.

She purses her lips, "Remember what?"

"About what happened last night," I tell her.

"Oh god," her eyes widened. "Did I do something stupid?"

No, _I_ did something stupid!

"I am so drunk last night, I don't remember a thing. I can't even remember how I got into my bed," she grimaces. "Oh you're probably talking about that… puking incident. I'm sorry. I don't remember that either but Aubrey said I did, and you two cleaned me up. I'm really sorry, Beca. I'm so embarrassed right now."

Of course, she doesn't remember.

"This is probably not the good time to talk about it, though."

I force a laugh, "Yeah, you're right. I'll save the teasing for dessert."

"Oh great," she groans.

I let myself laugh one more time, pretend like I'm enjoying it, but the truth is I'm upset that she doesn't remember that I kissed her last night. I'd rather have her reject me now because of it than stay close to her without her being aware of it at all. I want us to share that memory. It doesn't matter whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I just want to share that memory with her because if not, that kiss would just seem so made-up to me, some kind of a ghost, like it didn't happen at all. She doesn't remember, hence, now it's nothing but a drunken nightmare.

"I think I'd surprise Stan after his exam," she says. "What do you think, Beca?"

"I'm sure he would be very happy to see you."

I flash a smile to Chloe, and I'm happy that she didn't notice the hint of sadness on it. So this is how it's going to work. I get to kiss her for a night while she's drunk, but the day after that, everything just goes back to normal with that kiss being just a ghost of the past. She's all Stan's again, and I'm left on my own. It hurts, but I'm not going to walk away. Because I love Chloe, fuck me, but I choose to stay.

* * *

_**Song Titles:** (Chapter Title) Martyr For My Love For You - The White Stripes (2) Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran_

_So what do you, guys, think about this chapter? :)_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pitch Perfect.


	9. She is the Sunlight

**_Daffusizers:_**_ I think I prefer 'Sloe' than 'Stanloe' XD_

**_Marauder Neyo:_**_ Thanks :) It's one of my favorite parts of this entire fanfic to be honest…_

**_JQ_**_: I'm a sucker for angst too. LOL_

**_Mrebel1992:_**_ I was thinking of using that song actually! But I already used Between the Lines in the previous chapter and I thought the song title 'Martyr For My Love For You' would really summarize the chapter._

**_Shorty-600:_**_ Aww :( I PROMISE I will give her a happy ending…_

**_MysticFalls94 _**_and **CH:** I read this one negative review but I'm so happy I read your reviews. You guys keep me motivated to pursue with this. Thank you so much._

_I have to admit that at this point everybody (even myself) is really waiting for Chloe's side of the story. I mean, we cleared Aubrey and Stan already, so it's all up to Chloe. But I've thought this through, I'll stay within Beca's POV. But that doesn't mean we won't be exploring Chloe's mind :) For now, I need you to be patient, I just want to explore other aspects of the story first before we get there. But I can tell you guys that we're almost there. I promise :)_

* * *

CHAPTER NINE: **She is the Sunlight**

It's Saturday. This is the day that I get to hang out with Chloe. Somehow, I feel so excited about it when she calls it 'Beca and Chloe Saturday Getaway'. Conversely, to me, it's just another sister-and-brother's-girlfriend bonding experience and all of a sudden, it doesn't feel so exciting anymore, rather it is a complete agony on my part. So I decide to spend the first half of the day with Jesse at the radio station just to release some pressure. Luke finally lets us help him arrange his playlists.

"Maroon 5 is too mainstream now, isn't it?" he asks me.

I nod my head absentmindedly.

"What about Tegan and Sara then some Lil Wayne stuff?"

I simply answer, "Awesome."

"Justin Bieber?"

"Perfect."

"Now I know you're just being such a bull," abruptly he turns around to face me. "Shoot it, Beca."

"What?"

"Something's bothering you."

"Wrong," I lie.

Jesse rolls his eyes at me, "I've seen that face. Come on, tell me."

I tell him the first excuse I can think of, "I promised my brother I'd help him with his 'romantic dinner date with Chloe' and I still don't have any clue what to do about that."

But really, I don't know what to do with that shit. More than anything, I don't know what the word 'romantic' really means. Then I hear Jesse laughs maybe because he finds my dilemma very trivial.

"Perhaps, you can share with me some ideas?"

"If only you'd let me show you some movies," I throw him a look but he continues to talk anyway. "Those cliché of romantic chick flicks can be really cheesy most of the times but I must say that they can really help you at times like this."

"Face it, Jesse, I'm not going to watch a movie."

He shakes his head, "No, it's not that hard, Beca. Just one movie, please?"

"Jesse, stop it."

"Just one movie and if you still feel that way then I'll get off your back," he offers.

But I don't even have to think about my response, "No."

Before Jesse could let out a defeated groan, I hear someone enters the booth and so I turn towards the door to see who it is.

"There you are," Chloe puts her hands on her hips. She briefly says 'hi' to Jesse along with her usual charming smile then glares at me. "I've been looking all over you. Good thing your roommate knows you're here."

Wow. All this time, I never thought Kimmy Jin has been listening to me. I thought she was just staring and glaring to imply her existence, I guess she cares about me as well.

"No outsider allowed inside the booth."

"Really, Beca? Outsider?"

"What do you want, Red?" I question as if I have no clue as to why she's hunting me.

"Hey!" she exclaims. "You said you want to hang out with me."

"Easy there, tiger. I'm just trying to joke around. What are we going to do anyway?"

She has that cheeky grin on her face and I suddenly feel nervous that I feel like running away.

"Movie marathon."

Before anybody could breathe, before Chloe could blurt out further details that could easily make me change my mind, I instantly grab her hand and drag her out of the booth and make our way to their dorm room. Forget that Jesse was right there at the booth. I don't know how to explain to him my action anyway. I'm going to watch a movie, more than one movie to be exact, and I just want to leave it that way.

* * *

By the time another box of pizza arrives for dinner, I already watched _Mean Girls, Taken, Princess Diaries, Cabin in the Woods, _and _Finding Nemo;_ all of which are very predictable in my humble opinion. I'm still surprised that I actually sat through the whole thing and made it through alive. All for Chloe. I'm just really glad that the two of us are now just exchanging random questions as we sit across each other at the dinner table. I insisted that we eat at the dining table instead of the coffee table because if she puts another DVD on, I think I'm just going to die.

"Ultimate celebrity crush?" I ask her.

"Matt Bomer," she answers too quickly.

"Er, he's gay."

"So what? He's hot!"

I nod knowingly in agreement.

"Who's your favorite Disney princess?" she excitedly inquires.

"Does Tinkerbell counts?" Because she's tiny, I'm tiny, and she can fly. I like to think that I also have the ability to fly; it's just that I have already ran out of happy thoughts. Yeah, I know who Tinkerbell is. So I've been a kid once too. My mom made me watch Peter Pan when I was like five years old.

"No!" she exclaims.

"Then Little Mermaid or whatever her name is."

Okay, so I guess I have a thing for gingers now, huh?

"Ariel," she fills in.

"Yeah, her."

"Who is half-fish."

I shrug, "She's cute."

"Fine," she sighs in surrender.

"Hmm," I have to think about my next question. "Favorite spot in Barden?"

She stops eating for a moment and think about it thoroughly. She's so cute when she thinks too hard by the way. After some time, she smiles dreamily.

"The Flower Garden at the east side of the campus."

I must have a blank expression on my face right now because then she asks me, "Have you ever been there?"

"No. What's in there anyway?"

"Have you ever watched the movie _A Cinderella Story_?"

"Who stars in it?"

"Hillary Duff and Chad-"

I cut her off, "Chloe, I don't want to know."

"Anyway," she rolls her eyes. "The Flower Garden is some sort of a fairytale come true."

"And what does a 'fairytale come true' looks like?"

I'm just curious, really.

She smirks, "Watch the movie and find out."

"You know I hate movies so much," I finally blurt out because I suddenly remember telling her that information when we first went to the lake. As much as I love Chloe, this 'let's watch a movie' thing is killing me.

She answers me casually, "I know. You told me."

"Then why did you make me watch all these crap!" I exclaim.

"Because I want to," she winks at me with that devilish grin on her angelic face. "Admit it, Beca, it's not that bad."

I scoff. I have always thought that it's the biggest lie that people say. 'It's not that bad.' After Phil walked out on us, my mom would always tell me that. 'It's not that bad, Beca.' Then again it's been really bad. Kids in school would always tease me about my parents' divorce. It's not the worst part of it though, it's the fact that I lost my father that night, and there has always been this hole in my heart that I don't know if it can ever be filled again. So whenever someone tells me 'Beca, it's not that bad', I know for sure that something terrible is about to happen. But tonight with Chloe, I believe her instantaneously. Call me idiot or whatever you want but I just believe her because maybe, just maybe she's right, that this kind of 'relationship' I have with her right now, whatever this is, it's not that bad, not at all.

"Okay, my turn," she says cheerfully, and I pay all my attention to her. "What's your song for me?"

"What the hell is that question, Red?"

She briefly shoots me a glare, "A song. You know, a song that would summarize everything you want to tell me or feel about me… or just something that would remind you of me. Whatever works for you."

I sigh. A song for Chloe. I can easily say _Wonderwall_, but I don't think it's a good idea to tell my brother's girlfriend that she's my wonderwall, someone who's always in my mind, in a song. So I think and think for more. I mentally scan through my playlist until I remember this song that could be the perfect answer to the question.

"Are you familiar with the band _Trading Yesterday_?" I ask Chloe, and I'm secretly hoping that she says 'no' because it would be really hard to explain to her why I chose that song in particular.

She shakes her head. Excellent!

"My song for you then is _She is the Sunlight_ by _Trading Yesterday._"

"I just told you I'm not familiar with that band!" she protests.

This time, I'm the one wearing the sinister grin.

"That's not my problem."

"Beca," she groans. "Change it."

"No!" I exclaim. "You asked me a question, and that's my final answer."

"Hmm," she starts to contemplate. "_She is the Sunlight_. I am the Sunlight? Sounds good to me."

And I smile to that. Chloe has found the brighter side of not knowing what the song is all about. Definitely, she is the Sunlight. She's this very bright light that shines upon my dark and lonely world. Every day, every hour, every minute, I feel like the darkness is growing as I am losing her to Stan more and more. But I don't care. The song says it all.

_"And if loving her is a heartache for me  
__And if holding her means that I have to bleed  
__Then I am the martyr  
__Love is to blame  
__Cause she is the healing, and I am the pain."_

And for now, I don't have to explain everything to her… yet.

"_She lives in a daydream  
__(She lives in a daydream)  
__Where I don't belong  
__Cause she is the sunlight, and the sun is gone."_

* * *

So here's the picture: Kimmy Jin sits by her study desk reading her thick textbook on Biochemistry; Stan sits on the floor at the foot of my bed finishing my book review on the _Diary of Anne Frank_; I am lying on my bed, my back facing the ceiling, as I try to read the essay _On the Genealogy of Morals_ for my Philosophy class.

"Stan?" I whisper so that my roommate can't hear the 'noise'.

"Yes?" he whispers as well.

"I'm really trying, but Friedrich Nietzsche has lost me."

He shakes his head, "That only means you're not trying hard enough, kiddo."

I roll my eyes.

"I'm halfway through your book review, please tell me that you've at least read the prologue."

I'm done reading the prologue, alright? I'm just not sure I was able to comprehend the craziness of this crap. I'm even starting to doubt that I'm still reading it in the English language.

"I don't even think this is an essay anymore!" I protest.

I can tell Stan and I stop breathing for a moment when we heard Kimmy Jin clears her throat, a clear indication that our quiet whispers start to bother her solemn study period. I quietly punch my brother on his shoulder for being too noisy for my roommate's standard, and he only responds with an equally brutal punch to my shoulder.

"Just keep reading," he hisses at me.

I sigh in defeat, "Who writes this long of an essay just to talk about 'good'? I can't even write an entire page about myself."

"Wow," he gives me a surprised look. "At least we know that you understand what it is all about in general."

"I'm sorry I'm not that dumb, Stan."

"I still love you though, kiddo."

"Whatever," I flip the page annoyingly and I hear him chuckle.

To tell you the truth, I've been lost since page one. I do understand the meaning of its every word but put them all together in this one insane essay, and I suddenly think I'm so stupid that I have never felt so bad for myself.

"Have you thought about the romantic dinner with Chloe already?" Stan suddenly inquires.

"Um," I try to hide the hesitation in my voice as I speak. "I may have asked for Jesse's help already. He's this ultimate movie geek. He knows what it's like to be romantic, you know."

But of course, I don't tell him that Jesse's suggestion is for me to watch some romantic movies and get some ideas from them, and I don't tell him that I instantly rejected that option.

I see my brother smile, "That's great then."

"Just leave it to us," I offer. "Besides, you're such a cheeseball enough I think you don't have anything to worry about."

"I'm just really hoping that it's going to make Chloe happy. When you reach this stage of a relationship, you just start questioning whether you're still doing things right… or if you're still enough for her. You come to this point that you get so scared because you don't want her to feel like you're not enough for her already especially now that I don't ever want to lose Chloe."

I know how scary that feeling is, to lose someone you really love, because that's exactly how I feel right now. I'm scared to lose Chloe, but unlike Stan, I have no other choice but to force myself to be brave enough and let them be.

"I love her so much, Beca," he whispers, and I know it's serious because he called me by my name. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

I pause for a moment then give him a half-hearted smile, "You won't, Stan. Don't worry. I'm sure Chloe will be more than happy just spending the night with you."

And I truly believe that. You can be at the worst place at the worst time, but as long as you have that one person you want to be with more than anyone in the world, then everything else around you doesn't matter anymore. That's what it feels like being with Chloe for me, so that must be the same feeling that Chloe has being with Stan.

"Congratulations, you're an amateur cheeseball now, kiddo."

He laughs at me, I throw him another punch on his broad shoulder, then Kimmy Jin purposely clears her throat again, and so Stan and I exchange glares.

"Hey," I hear my brother whispers again. "I just noticed; you got a new guitar?"

I follow his gaze and my eyes land on the acoustic guitar which Chloe gave me.

"Yeah," I simply answer.

"What happened to your old guitar?"

I sigh annoyingly at Stan's question. Does he really have to ask? His girlfriend gave it to me as a gift. I'm sure she told him the story.

"Chloe replaced it."

He stops from typing on the laptop to give me a confused look, "What does Chloe has to do with it?"

"We were hanging out," I shrug. "Suddenly, it started raining and completely destroyed my old guitar. Chloe thinks it's her fault so she bought me a new one as a gift."

Of course, I leave out the details on the _Wonderwall_ singing, me almost kissing his girlfriend, and the two of us playing in the water under the pouring rain. Yes, Stan, I got your girlfriend really sick after that, remember?

"I don't remember raining yesterday," he says as he tries to recall Chloe's recent activities. "And I thought you two had some movie marathon. I don't remember her mentioning that incident when we talked this morning."

That's because it didn't happen yesterday, Stan. I want to tell him that, but I keep my mouth shut instead.

"Oh well," he suddenly recoils. "I guess I should pay more attention to her random stories."

You don't know?

"And here's an interesting fact about Chloe," he says excitedly. "She has no idea what personal space means. She's going to invade your privacy whenever she feels like doing, so you better watch out for that as you two start spending more time together."

She barge into my shower! We've been hanging out long before I found out she's your girlfriend, and that's how I've fallen for Chloe Beale!

"But, Stan," I start but quickly stop myself. I realize it's not my story to tell. "Yeah, of all people, you have to date a creep. Way to go, Stan. Thanks for the heads up though."

He chuckles, "Well, she has completely swept me off of my feet."

I can't believe Chloe didn't tell Stan – the shower incident, our first trip to the lake, and who knows what else the redhead didn't tell him. But the question hanging here is 'why?'

* * *

"No, Beca!"

Aubrey glares at me and I glare back at her. We've been yelling at each other since we got here at the Flower Garden at the east of the campus, Chloe's favorite spot in Barden. We've been arguing about the music for tonight's romantic dinner for Stan and Chloe's first year anniversary. She thinks it's more romantic to hire a violinist to play for them when I already offered I would take care of the music.

"I said I'd take care of it, Aubrey!"

"Exactly," The Captain puts her hands on her hips. "I don't trust your idea."

I roll my eyes, "Says someone who's stuck at Ace of Base."

"And you know anything about being romantic?"

"My brother asked me to arrange this thing," I say with pride and confidence.

"Yeah?" she looks at me challengingly. "Well, Stan asked me too."

"Just let me do the hell of it, Aubrey!"

I think she considers the idea for a moment.

"What do you plan to do anyway?"

"It's none of your business!" I exclaim.

"It's my business because she's my best friend!" she raises her voice to level mine. Her eyes are more intense now than before. We both stop, and just keep on staring at each other's eyes. Oh, I get it. So this is not just about the music anymore. It's the entire 'Stan and Chloe… then there's Beca' thing.

"I promised, didn't I?" I tell her quietly. Because really, I'm not going to do something tonight that would destroy this peaceful setup that all of us is currently living in.

She tries to keep her guard up but eventually gives in.

"Aubrey, I'm not going to break them up," I assure her the truth. "I know they're in love, and I know that I have to let her go. I know… I have to let these feelings go."

"What about you, Beca?"

I laugh. I laugh because I don't know exactly the answer to that. I laugh because I realize that nobody has ever asked me the question. Yeah, what about me? I fell in love with Chloe Beale, but I didn't know she's my brother's girlfriend. I put my walls down and let her in only to get my heart broken without her even knowing. Then here I am planning the most romantic dinner for Stan and my one and only love. Here I am planning the most heartbreaking story for me. So what about me? Thank you, Aubrey, for asking. Maybe this time she really is trying to look out for me.

I'm really glad that before The Captain demands an answer from me, Jesse comes back with additional tiny vector lights for the decorations, but Aubrey and I do not tear away that eye-to-eye connection from each other. He gives us a questioning look as he puts down the lights on the table.

"What's up with you two?" he asks.

Neither Aubrey nor I answer his question.

"Don't tell me you two were fighting again," he chuckles. "You should give each other a break, you know."

Still, we don't say anything or move.

"Come on, guys. This is not about anyone of us. This is about Stan and Chloe. Let's all move on, okay?"

Move on? Yeah, I guess that we all should.

"I need to check on something," Aubrey starts grabbing her things. "Beca, you're in charge of the music."

Finally!

She heads out, "I'll be right back."

Jesse gives me a look, and I only respond with a shrug.

"What was that all about?" he asks.

"Nothing," I tell him. That's what everybody says to avoid a conversation, and that's what I want to happen.

Jesse sighs, "Okay."

For a while, Jesse and I work on our own. He sets up the lights on the bushes and around the posts. I start to cover the table and chairs with white linen sheets and arrange the flowers. After sometime, we start to put the candles on their right places.

"I see what you're trying to do here," he speaks, penetrating the silent atmosphere around us.

"This is romantic, I think."

"The thing is I've seen this," he keeps his eyes away from me.

"What do you mean?"

"For a movie geek, don't you think I've watched _that_ movie?"

"It's for my brother," I reason out.

He nods his head, but I know he doesn't buy it. It's not my problem if he doesn't feel satisfied with my answer, so I don't bother telling him even more. We continue working until we finish everything. Now we sit next to each on the stairs as we wait for Aubrey's return.

"You've been awfully quiet today," I tell Jesse, giving him a 'is there a problem' look.

He softly chuckles, "I was just thinking things through."

"What kind of things?"

"Actually, I was just thinking about you."

I sigh as I look away because the whole reality of Jesse taking an interest on me is hitting me on the face again, and it doesn't feel too comfortable to sit through this conversation with him.

"And I was thinking how stupid I've been this whole time to think that someday you would finally let me in completely."

I stay quiet because I don't know what to respond. How do you respond to something like that? This guy has told me and shown me a hundred times that he likes me. I never gave him a proper response, but he said he still thought it was worth it. However, he suddenly thinks he's been stupid already. What do you say to that?

"I don't mind waiting, Beca. But if I'm waiting for nothing, you can just tell me now. You don't have to pretend that this arrangement will work out for us."

What have I been doing? I have been too hurt and somewhat angry for assuming that Chloe has been leading me on, but the truth is, I have been doing the same thing to Jesse. He doesn't serve to be in this mess. Who am I kidding? It's never possible to love someone and avoid the heartaches and pain. The moment I decided I can never feel the same way for him, even if he didn't know it yet, I have already caused him pain. I could have told him earlier before he got into this mess. I guess I'm just as selfish as everybody else.

"She told you once then you simply watched a movie in a blink."

I mutter, "It's just a movie."

"No," he shakes his head slowly. "It's not just a movie, Beca. It's your past, present, and future. It's everything about you. She asked all of you and you gave everything in a snap. Funny, she doesn't even have to ask you twice."

I sigh, "I'm sorry, Jesse. Really I am."

And this is all I can say to him. How can I be so mean to Jesse when all he ever did is to make me feel loved?

"I know you are," he nods understandingly.

I try to keep the tears from falling off my eyes.

"You love her," he finally voices out the truth of why I can never let him in. I don't have to say anything because it's everything that Jesse needs to know. We ultimately have reached an understanding of what it is between the two of us. Now to watch him smile at me through the heartache in his chest, kiss me on the head, and hear him say 'I still think you're worth it', I realize how much this guy loves me, and I deliberately push it aside all because of Chloe.

I let the tears roll down and I let myself confide in his arms because of all people, I know Jesse understands me. He knows exactly how it feels to have someone out of reach. While Chloe is my sunlight, I am Jesse's. And though the 'sun is gone', we decide to stay anyway because for us, we still think that single person is worth staying for.

* * *

I stand patiently at the door and wait for Chloe to open it up. I am tasked to fetch her from the room, and drive her to the flower garden located at the east side of the campus for her and Stan's romantic evening.

"_And it will take this life of regret  
__For my heart to learn to forget  
__Tomorrow will be as it always has been  
__And I will fall to her again  
__For I know I have come too close."_

She opens up the door and automatically gives me a smile, "How do I look, Beca?"

She wears this white fairytale dress and I don't even have to think about it.

"You look beautiful," I smile back at her.

She closes the door behind her, and I lead her to Stan's BMW. We sit right there for a moment as I stare at her.

"_Cause if right is leaving  
__I'd rather be wrong  
__Cause she is the sunlight  
__And the sun is gone."_

In a few minutes, she's going to enjoy one of the most romantic nights in her life, and the worst part of it is that she's not going to spend it with me. But I don't mind because I know it's what's going to make her feel happy.

* * *

_**Song Title:** She is the Sunlight - Trading Yesterday_

_I strongly recommend that you tune in to the next chapter ;)_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.


	10. Just So You Know

_**Bechloe fan: **__Thanks for the review! That's how I try to do it, make it unpredictable as much as possible because Beca hates predictable endings. LOL. My advice to you is to check for updates only every two days the least, not everyday, dear :)_

_**Bexaday**__: I am proud! :) it's because of your (the followers) encouragements that pushes me to do better than what I've already done :) thank you!_

_**Guest **__(Sloe Shippers): Stan and Chloe are a cute couple, I know :)_

_**Lovebug141:**__ You are amazing as well! _

_**MysticFalls94: **__I hope I don't disappoint you._

_**Daffusizers, Averanda**__: You know I forgot about the song when I was writing this chapter so thanks for reminding me ;)_

_**Mrebel1992:**__ I have always felt bad for Jesse that's why I decided to write Chapter 9. If you ask me, he's the real victim here._

_Now as we go through the story, I know that a lot of people might have started to have Chloe's character because of how she's been acting towards Beca and Stan like she's been this selfish bitch. I'm really hoping that after reading this Chapter, we can all try to change those negative perspectives towards her. Now keep reading..._

* * *

CHAPTER TEN: **Just So You Know**

I stand by Chloe's side as she holds on to my hand. We wait for Stan as he walks from the _A Cinderella Story _themed gazebo. Yes, Aubrey, Jesse, and I made sure it looks exactly like the one in the movie. When Chloe told me this flower garden is her favorite spot in Barden because it looks like a fairytale, I required myself to watch the movie. Even for someone like me who according to The Captain's words is 'too alternative' finds that enchanted gazebo romantic, and so I told Aubrey that it's what I want this night to be. For Stan and Chloe.

Stan is all smiles as he meets us up at the entrance. Chloe has the same blissful expression, and it's only right for me to sneer at them. With Chloe's white dress and Stan's fancy suit and tie, I feel like this is a wedding as I hand her over to my brother, and I hand her over whole-heartedly. Yes, this time, whole-heartedly.

I stand right there as they both make their way to the gazebo. As soon as they reach the center, the surround sound system that Jesse and I installed earlier automatically plays a familiar song to everyone but holds some sort of a sentimental value only to me and Chloe – a rendition of the song _Wonderwall_ by Ed Sheeran. As the intro plays, my brother smiles at Chloe and asks her to dance with him. Chloe smiles back at him as she takes his hand.

"_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you."_

But upon realizing the song playing, from a far, I watch as Chloe's face falls and turns to look at me. Stan follows her gaze, and then tells her something, probably that I was the one who chose the song.

"_By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now"_

Her eyes tell me that she wants me to answer why. Of all the songs, why do I have to choose that song, _our_ song? And so I respond to her with the best smile I can followed by a nod. Slowly, she turns her eyes away from mine and holds on to Stan.

"_Backbeat the word is on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out."_

I just wish Chloe got the message, this rare smile on my face and the nod I gave her - that I love her but tonight I decided I'm going to let these feelings go, gradually. Not just for me, but for Chloe. It's totally unfair to her if I keep lying. Hence, letting her dance with my brother to our song is the first step to ending this madness, and I wish this sights right here would simply numb the feelings away.

"_And I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
Well, I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now." _

Being in love with Chloe is so much worth it, but I've thought this through. I'm still staying, but I'm also tired of getting hurt. That's why I'm letting her go. This is the end of the line. Tonight is the last night that I get to love Chloe Beale more than I have loved anybody else. Tomorrow, I plan to look at her and for the first time since, I am not going to feel a single loving feeling anymore.

"_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
__And all the lights that lead the way are blinding  
__There are many things that I would like to say to you  
__But I don't know how."_

But she gives me that one last look. I don't know what that look means exactly, but I feel like it embodies feelings that are more significant than words could ever convey. Then, all of a sudden, I realize I'm just fooling myself. This is bullshit. I can't do it. You don't forget your first love overnight especially when all you really want is for her to love you back.

"_I said maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me?  
__And after all, you're my wonderwall."_

Chloe is still my wonderwall. No matter how hard I try, she's still and will always be my wonderwall. Before I feel any urge of running towards the gazebo and push my brother aside to tell her how I really feel from the start, I turn my back on them and drag my feet out of the flower garden.

"So," Aubrey meets me outside. "How is it?"

I ignore her question as the tears just start to roll down my cheeks. Damn it.

"Hey," she tries to stop me. "Are you crying?"

But I keep on walking away.

"Are you alright, Beca?"

Still walking.

"Beca!" she exclaims. "Stop acting like shit and tell me what the hell is going on!"

I just keep on walking and she continues to follow my lead.

"Beca, come on. You can talk to me. Please, just talk to me."

Still, I ignore her. I just want to walk away from her, from the flower garden, from the music, from Stan, from Chloe, from all this heartache and everything. I just want to walk away. But Aubrey grabs my hand and forces me to face her.

"Beca!"

I deliberately look away.

"What's wrong?" she demands as she holds my head in place with both hands.

I shake my head firmly.

"Tell me what's wrong, Beca!"

"What about me?" I finally scream. "What about me, Aubrey?"

The Captain suddenly stops and looks straight into my eyes. I can see her worried and concerned face, and her hands on my face slowly loosen as I continue to cry.

"I so fucking want to move on, to forget her, to stop being such a mess, but I can't! I just can't… because at the end of the day, I still want her to be mine. I'm so sorry, Aubrey. I didn't mean to be such a problem to her perfect fairytale relationship with _my_ brother. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Aubrey."

"Ssh," she gently wipes the tears off my face with her fingers. "Don't say that, Beca. You don't have to say sorry."

I shrug, "It's my fucking fault. I'm feeling things that I'm not supposed to feel! I want things that I'm not supposed to have! I walk around every goddamn day and pretend like I'm fine, but the truth is I'm not! I'm so fucked up, Aubrey. I talk to her and tell her that I'm happy for them when in fact, I secretly want her to love me back. Honestly? I still feel betrayed. I'm the one who fell in love and then they made me look like a fool! But damn, I'm willing to stay where I am, here at the distance. I even promised her that I won't stand in the way. She can ask me anything, and I would do it for her! So tell me! What about me?"

Aubrey opens her mouth but closes it when she couldn't say anything. She lets out a deep sigh as she watches me helplessly fall apart. After a moment, she just throws herself to me and gives me a real embrace.

"I love her," I whisper against her shoulder, and helplessly embrace her back. "I love her so much."

"I know," she gently rubs my back. "I know, Beca."

As much as it feels good to be in Aubrey's comfort zone, I desperately need to get out of here, and so I push her off of me and run away.

"Beca, wait!" Aubrey calls out, but I run away as fast as I could because if I don't, I don't know if I can ever do it again someday.

* * *

By ten thirty in the evening, I find myself at the lake, seated on the grass under this old oak tree. Earlier I called my mom because she's all I can really confide in right now and told her everything. I talked and cried at the same time while she listened. I desperately needed somebody to listen to me because I can no longer keep all these feelings to myself. However, I didn't let her say anything. I didn't let her comfort me because I will only feel more pitiful for myself. As soon as I told her the entire story, I shut my phone off, blocking everything and everyone else.

Now I lean my back on the trunk as I compel myself to finish off my eleventh bottle of beer. I bought more alcohol than what I know I can handle because tonight I plan to get wasted. This pain in my chest is too much to bear now that I just want to get rid of it. I want to drown it with as much alcohol as needed until I can't feel anything anymore. No more pain, no more hatred, no more love, no more disappointment, no more desire, just completely nothing. I just want to be the old me again, the old Beca who simply shuts herself out from the rest of the world. It's better. I used to not recognize the loneliness within the cage because I never knew what happiness is all about. I want that emptiness back now.

"Fuck!"

Because I'm still thinking about Chloe. I'm still thinking about her bright blue eyes, her radiant red locks, her cheeky grin, her silky smooth skin, and how I still wish she could be mine.

"Damn it, Beca!"

I harshly wipe the tears off my face and force myself to stand up, holding on to the huge tree trunk. I struggle to stand still on the ground with the booze causing hazy clouds in my head. I rest my hands on the trunk as I slightly lean on it until I'm only staring. I stare at the trunk for a long time, and a brilliant idea pops in my mind.

I punch the trunk with my bare hand, and I feel it sting through my skin and bones. Good. I use my left hand to keep me standing, and then I start punching the trunk with my right hand. I punch it harder and harder every after throw. The pain grows with every punch and so I keep on punching that even my knuckles have started swelling then bleeding, but I don't mind. I don't care. I need this. I need another source of pain. I need to get the pain out of my chest and if this is the only way then so be it. I don't care if I get a fractured hand afterwards. I just want to punch this trunk until my body gives up. I don't know how much time past, but the last thing I remember is the sight of my right hand bathing with blood, and then I pass out.

* * *

I don't know how long I have been asleep, though I have hoped that I should have died in my sub-consciousness. I wake up to a pair of hands carefully shaking my body and the sound of a familiar voice calling out my name.

"Beca? Beca, are you okay? Can you hear me? Beca!"

I recognize Chloe's voice, and terror and panic are evident in every syllable she speaks.

"Go away," I mumble as I try to open my eyes.

"No!" she exclaims. "Your hand is bleeding!"

I ignore her. I try to help myself sit up. Man, this is a struggle. I'm still groggy with all the alcohol drinking and my right hand is now really painful, I think I fractured the bones. Thanks to my idea of using an oak tree trunk as a punching bag. Suddenly, I feel her put a hand on my right arm, probably Miss-doctor-to-be wants to examine the damage, but I deliberately pull my hand from her gentle grip.

"Let me see your hand," she demands.

Again, I ignore her. She tries to help me stand, but I opt to ask for the trunk's help instead. I hold on to it for dear life, and Chloe has no choice but to merely watch because I won't invite her in. Good, Beca. You're doing great. Just shut her out.

"Beca," I can sense the pleading in her voice.

I turn around so that my back is leaning on the trunk while I stand up. I try so hard not to look into her eyes this whole time. Using my left hand, I hold on to my right wrist with the hope that it would ease the pain on my knuckles. Then, Chloe starts to move towards me, but I raise my uninjured hand to stop her.

"Don't," I tell her.

"Why?"

"Just don't."

She sighs, "Let me at least take care of your hand, Beca."

I shake my head.

"What do you want me to do then?"

"I want you to go home, just leave me alone."

She tries to move towards me again, but I stop her immediately.

"I said leave me the fuck alone!" I yell at her. I have never yelled at her. That made her stop at her tracks, leaving us simply staring at each other's eyes. Surprisingly, hers look like mine in the recent weeks. It's that 'I'm hurt because you're so close yet so far' look in her eyes. Mine, on the other hand, for the first time since I can remember, is no longer filled with gentleness for Chloe. I'm done being such a martyr for her.

She lets out a deep sigh then looks straight into my eyes, I have to avoid them.

"My excuse for being here in the middle of nowhere at past midnight looking for you is that I went to your dorm room earlier and all I found is your worried roommate."

Kimmy Jin is worried about me? Okay, I didn't tell her where I would be because I thought she wouldn't care anyway.

"What's your excuse for being here at this ungodly hour drunk, passed out, and with your hand bleeding? How did you even get here, Beca? You don't have a car!"

I maintain the 'I'm tough' image as I start to laugh, "Why do you care anyway?"

"God, Beca, stop acting like a child!"

"Then stop treating me like a goddamn child!"

"Well, maybe you should start speaking up for yourself for once. If you do have a problem, say it! Don't just shut yourself out from the rest of the world just because you're not brave enough to face it!"

I remain quiet as I stare at her. I have never seen Chloe so mad. I have never heard her raise her voice. Am I really so much of a mess right now that even the soft spoken Chloe Beale is so fed up with me?

She shakes her head at me in frustration, "If you have something to say, tell me, because quite frankly, Beca, I can't read your mind all the time. You don't want us to treat you like a child? Then stop hiding. Stop running away and stop acting like you're the only one who's getting hurt."

But I'm the only one getting hurt.

"Do you know how much it hurts for me to see you like this? You ran away without any word at all, then all of a sudden, I find you here passed out and bleeding. I was so fucking scared that something bad happened to you!"

Now she's crying. Shit. What the hell did I do? I just made her cry! Bad, Beca.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, hoping she would stop crying but she just keeps on. Suddenly, my walls give in. "You were having this fairytale night with your prince charming. I just can't ruin that for you."

She looks down, "I had to dance with him to _our_ song."

Did it really ruin the night? She was dancing with Stan. Who cares about the song? Yeah, it's our song, but like I said there's no 'we'. Might as well drop its sentimental value, right?

"Does it matter anyway?" I have to ask her. For weeks, I have tons and tons of questions for Chloe. I've heard Aubrey's and Stan's sides of this whole damn story, but what about Chloe's? This question is very important to me, because if she says it doesn't then there's no point of asking about the rest.

She takes a deep breath and turns her back on me. She starts to walk away and I start to panic. No!

"Chloe," I call out her name. "Wait!"

She ignores me as she keeps on walking.

I think about taunting her, "You can't talk to me about not being brave enough when you're this coward to answer one damn question."

I watch her approach her car. She opens the door to the front passenger side and grabs something I can't make out through the darkness of the night. She closes the door and starts to walk back to me. It feels like waiting for forever as I wait for her to finally stand in front of me. I can't believe it. It's a single-stemmed red rose. Exactly like the one I had during the Foundation Day. She's holding on to a single-stemmed red rose in her hand.

I wait for her to speak, but we only stare into each other's eyes. Words unspoken, feelings restrained, only two pair of eyes staring at one another in the dark.

"You said you went to my dorm room," I start. I need her to talk to me now or I feel like I'm going to regret it if she doesn't. "Why?"

I know the tears start to roll down her cheeks again, and I know she's just as hurt as I am. I want to reach out for it and wipe them away, but I feel like there's this invisible wall between us again. She's only a few inches away from me, but it always feels like she's out of my reach.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough," is the only answer she gives. She thrusts the single-stemmed rose to my chest, and I hold on to her hand immediately. We stay like that for a minute or so. No, _I_ wasn't brave enough. She was brave enough to penetrate the invisible wall, I wasn't. I was only brave enough to kiss her when she was not sober enough to remember it. I wish Chloe would stay, but suddenly she pulls her hand from my grip then starts to head back to her car leaving me only with the single-stemmed red rose. She was brave enough to give me this, but I couldn't be brave enough to stop her. I simply watch her walk away from me.

I tighten my grip on the rose until I notice a strip of paper attached to it. I try to read through the dark whatever is written on it.

_I love you._

_ I love you._ I read it over and over again until I get a sense of what it means because it feels so surreal. I read it one last time and it's like extremely cold water was poured into my very soul. So I hurriedly drag myself towards Chloe, the alcohol in my system makes it really difficult to walk properly. She's almost at her car so I have to move really fast. Thank goodness she stops when I'm finally blocking her way.

"Wait," I hold on to her as I try to catch my breath. "Stay."

"You want me to go home, right? I'm going home."

I shake my head then look at her, "Say it."

She only stares back at me.

"Okay, I'll make it easier for you," I smirk in excitement. "You are…"

She glares at me, "It's not a joke, Beca!"

"Okay," I try to put on a serious face. When you've been secretly in love with someone for such a long time and you thought that she doesn't care about you all this time only to find out later on that she loves you too, you just can't help but get so enthusiastic. "Just answer me then. You love me?"

"It doesn't matter now anyway," she walks past me, but I grab her arm.

"It does matter!" I exclaim, and it made her turn around to face me again. "I need to hear it from you, Chloe. You love me?"

She cries out, "I love you so much it hurts."

And I stop. I feel my smile turns into a frown. Can she not just say 'I love you, Beca'? Does she really have to say how much that hurts her?

"I was doing perfectly fine with my life then you happened. I have this perfect relationship with Stan and I couldn't ask for more. I swear I was so sure I would spend the rest of my life with him, but then you showed up to the activities fair and suddenly… I'm not so sure with anything anymore."

Wow. Really?

"I never thought love at first sight would be possible. It never happened to me before… but one look, Beca. Just one look from you, and you got me under your spell. I have been in love with you since then, that's even before I found out you're my boyfriend's sister, and every single day after that, I tried so hard to push the feelings away because I know you will never feel the same way for me."

Wrong! That's exactly how I feel!

"Then on Foundation Day, you came up to me to say something and you were holding this red rose. I had this little hope that you might have even the smallest amount of love for me. It took me all the courage I have to ask you about it when we went bowling, but of course, I was so wrong to think about it that way."

Shit. She did give me a chance to say the truth but I blew it off by telling her a lie.

"You'll probably hate me for saying all these. I don't intend to hurt your brother, but at many instances, I was so ready to leave Stan for you," she looks away in what I understand to be humiliation. "But I asked you, and you said you wanted me to stay with him. I asked you, and you said you're happy for us, so I have no choice but force a smile and go on with this."

So she would have been mine if only I asked her to.

"But again, you messed up with my head with that drunken kiss and that song. I looked it up – _She is the Sunlight_… I'm so confused. That's why I'm here… because I thought I should tell you already and get this over with."

You've been messing up with my head too, Chloe.

"The truth is I'm jealous of Jesse when I think about you two spending so much time together. I'm jealous of Aubrey when I notice recently you two have grown to like each other. But I can't complain. I have no right to do that. I have a boyfriend, for Christ's sake! And every moment that I spend with you, I feel like I'm cheating on him. I'm the messed up one, Beca. I'm stuck in a relationship where I look at Stan but I see you, I kiss him but I wish it was you, I sleep in his arms but I think about you. It will always feel like cheating. So I guess it only serves me right that every time I look at you, talk to you, touch you, or hug you… it feels like every piece of me falls apart because you will always be out of my reach. But it doesn't matter because I still love you. You see?" she pauses to let out a soft chuckle then looks into my eyes. "I'm so in love with you, Beca. You don't even have to do anything. All you had to do is exist, and I will love you forever and always."

Enough. I don't want to hear another word from Chloe. I've heard enough. So I reach for her face and kiss her immediately. I kiss her with all that I am. I can tell she was taken aback by my sudden action, but I'm glad that she starts to kiss me back. I tell myself this is really happening. This time it's real. I'm kissing Chloe, she's kissing me back, and I don't have to ask her tomorrow morning if she remembers because tonight we are nobody but two people in love.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asks in a whisper when we finally stop.

I smile at her, "Because I love you… more than you'll ever know."

Her lips slowly curve into a very happy grin, and I can't help but kiss those lips again.

Her face becomes serious once again and questions, "What does this mean then?"

"I love you, you love me."

"And Stan?"

I stop. Of course, Stan. What about him? Suddenly, his words echo in my head. 'I don't ever want to lose Chloe'. 'I love her so much, Beca'. 'I don't know what I'd do without her'.

"Do you want me to break up with him?"

My answer to that is yes and no. But that would be totally ridiculous. So what I do next is give her one last look, kiss her hand for the first and last time, and walk away with the red rose she gave me. In a snap, all the heartaches and pain just come crawling back to me. Again, I can feel my hand throbbing and bleeding, my head spinning due to the large amount of alcohol intake, and my heart shattering into a million pieces because I'm walking away. For real, I'm the one walking away.

"Beca," I hear Chloe calls out. "What are you doing?"

Yes, Beca, what are you doing? Everything you have ever wished for is finally here. That's when you start walking away? You're so fucking stupid, Beca!

"You're doing it again," I hear Chloe's voice lowers down with every step I take away from her. "You're running away again."

I'm sorry, Chloe, but I guess this is what I'm really good at.

"Go home, Chloe," I tell her without looking back because if I do, I might not be able to walk away from her ever again. "This is over."

She doesn't respond immediately but then she screams, "At least be brave enough to tell that to my face."

The thing is I can't. I don't want this to be over. I want Chloe. But I can't do this to Stan. I can't just steal her away from him. He's going to be really heartbroken. So instead, I'm just going to walk away.

"I will always love you, Beca."

It was a faint cry from Chloe. Somehow, I'm happy that it is the last thing I hear before I pass out on the road because if ever I die tonight, I will remember for eternity that Chloe Beale loves me the way I have always needed her.

* * *

_**Song Titles: **__(Chapter Title) Just So You Know – Jesse McCartney (2) Wonderwall – Ed Sheeran cover_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.


	11. Chasing Cars

_First of all, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :)_

_**Guest **__(the one who thinks Chloe is selfish): I wouldn't say she's selfish for staying. I mean, just to make it clear, it's not like she doesn't love him anymore. She still does, it's just that she's in love with Beca now too. Yeah, it's a little complicated… I'm sorry if you don't like the direction of the story now. Maybe give it another try?_

_**GuestM: **__Thank you for staying :) Yeah, I think we'll have some harder punches as we go through this. But if it makes you feel better, I'm suffering here as much as everybody :)_

_**Guest **__(the one who feels bad for Chloe and Beca)__**: **__I'll see what I can do :)_

_**Guest **__(Sloe shipper): Well, just in case, look at the bright side. Sloe had more real romantic moments than BeChloe :)_

_**Marauder Neyo: **__Wow. We have the same perception on Jesse! And um, I know I didn't put any color of the rose in Chapter 6 but I'm pretty sure I had it planned as red rose because I remember a friend of mine told me once that a single-stemmed red rose means 'I love you' :)_

_**Blahblah Writer, XxSendrickShipperxX, lovebug141, MysticFalls94, bexaday: **__Yeah, the odds have never been in their favor. Makes me cry too :'(_

_**BG-13**__: Nice to see you giving a review other than 'Gah' LOL._

_**LaRevolte**__ (and to all others who might have died for a moment there): God, I'm so sorry…_

_**BarbieFriend: **__You do realize that Stan is just some fictional character I made up, right? There's no celebrity behind him that I can throw to you. LOL._

_**soxylady27: **__Chloe is not trying to play with everyone's feelings. That's the very issue I wanted to clear in Chapter 10. She's confused with her feelings as well. I think it's really a difficult situation when you fall in love with someone besides your boyfriend._

_**Author's Trivia:**__ I had a really hard time thinking about a title for this chapter. Some songs I considered were (1) Fall Apart Today – Schuyler Fisk (2) Just Give Me A Reason – Pink ft. Nate Ruess (3) Speeding Cars – Imogen Heap (4) When I Was Your Man – Bruno Mars. But what made me decide on Chasing Cars is that beside from it's a really beautiful song, I found out that the song was inspired by this statement made by Gary Lightbody's father: "You're like a dog chasing a car. You'll never catch it and you just wouldn't know what to do with it if you did." SPOILER ALERT (?) At this point, Beca and Stan are two dogs chasing Chloe and both of them caught up, but now they really don't know what to do with her. Well, if you ask me, this is my **favorite** chapter so far :) Brace yourselves people!_

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN: **Chasing Cars**

When I wake up the next day, my head is throbbing for what I recognize as the world's worst hangover. This is what I get from drinking too much alcohol. I raise my right hand supposedly to rub my temple but I jerk when I feel the pang on my knuckles. I avert my eyes to see my right hand covered with bandages while my left hand has an IV needle attached to it. Suddenly, I recognize the unfamiliar bed. I look around and I find myself surrounded by green curtain dividers. Shit, I'm in a hospital. This is an emergency room.

I try to recall the events that led me to this gloomy place. I remember being at the flower garden with Chloe. I remember her dancing with Stan. I remember Aubrey comforting me with a hug, but I ran away. I remember being at the lake drinking, then punching the oak tree. That explains the bandage wrapped around my right hand. I remember Chloe being there at the lake. Oh. Chloe. Now I remember everything.

All this time I thought she never noticed me but the truth is she has been secretly in love with me as well. All this time we've been secretly in love with each other. Those kisses we shared last night were magical. It could have been a happy ending for us right then and there, but then there's Stan. Chloe and I both chose Stan.

The curtain is pushed open revealing the arrival of Phil Mitchell and a nurse holding this patient's chart trailing behind him. Of all people I could see first thing after waking up, it has to be the last person I want to be with ever. Just great.

"Good, you're awake," he smiles at me. "How are you feeling, Beca?"

I simply glare at him.

"You were dehydrated that's why you were feeling weak and passed out," he explains. "And the bleeding on your hand was pretty bad. You broke some bones as well. Good thing Chloe brought you here in time."

Chloe. Of all places that she could have taken me, it has to be the hospital that Phil owns. Where is she anyway?

"I'm going home," I announce, detaching carelessly the IV needle from my hand then jumping out of bed.

"Wait," Phil blocks my way, but I push him.

I take some cash out of my pocket and throw them to the nurse, "I don't have enough cash with me right now, but I'll pay you as soon as possible."

"You don't have to pay, Beca."

"But I want to," I tell Phil and start to walk away. "I can't afford to owe you anything."

Phil grabs my arm and spins me around to face him.

"What do you want, Phil?" I scream at him.

"I want you to forgive me!" he exclaims, and I stop in surprise. "I want you to call me 'dad'. I want you to welcome me back to your life, Beca."

I stare into his eyes and I see the anguish, the appeal, and the anticipation. For a moment, I think about backing down and letting him in. He almost got me there. But no, he's not going to fool me again.

"I'm going home," I forcefully jerk off his hand then walk away.

* * *

I push the door and let myself out of the emergency room. I stop and look around. Now what? I don't have a car and I don't have cash. I guess I'm going to walk back to Barden.

"Beca!" Chloe runs to me and I wait for her. When she finally stands by my side, she takes my hands on hers and examines them both. I like her touch. It feels like it's going to heal everything in my life. "You're left hand is bleeding."

I follow her gaze and I see trickles of blood coming out from where I carelessly detached the IV needle.

"It's nothing," I assure her. "Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure you can manage to leave the hospital now?"

"I just want to go home, Chloe."

She nods understandingly, "Okay. I'll drop you off to your dorm."

I think about it for a moment. I don't want to spend some more time with Chloe after all the revelation last night, but I'm feeling too tired and I'm having this terrible headache. So I nod my head and follow her to her car. The ride back to Barden is eerily quiet. Nobody speaks. Chloe focuses on driving while I glue my eyes on whatever is out the window. After what feels like decades, Chloe finally pulls the car over.

"Here we are," she speaks quietly.

"Thanks," I tell her but I don't get out of the car just yet. I don't want to go away from her yet.

She turns to me and flashes what I can tell to be a forced smile, "I'll see you around, Beca."

I stare at her. Her face looks pale and her eyes are worn out after all the crying, but still she manages to wear that weak smile on and talk to me casually. How can she be this brave? She said it always hurts to look at me like this, but here she is putting that same brave face over and over. Funny how I have always been worried that she would reject me after I tell her the truth about how I feel for her, but it turned out, I was the one who rejected Chloe.

I hold her hand and looks into her eyes, "I love you, Chloe."

"And I love you too," she bites her lips probably to stop the tears from falling again.

"But I _need_ you to stay with Stan."

"I know," she whispers, the tears finally rolling down her cheeks. "But I have to tell him the truth though. I can't live another day without telling him this secret."

I nod understandingly. Stan deserves to know.

"I will stay with him until he wants me to. I will shower him with love as long as he lets me to. From now on, I will live and breathe in this world and say that I don't love you… but I will always love you, Beca."

With that, I rest my hand on her cheeks, look into her eyes, wipe her tears away, smile at her unhappily, and give her one last kiss. One last kiss with Chloe, then I hurriedly climb out of the car and run to the dorm. Afterwards, I delete Chloe's number from my contacts. And on that same day, I quit the Bellas.

* * *

I heard from Kimmy Jin that Stan's team lost in the next game because he missed the last shot. He hates it whenever he misses the last shot making them lose the game. I figure he must be really depressed right now. For a moment, I rationalize that he must be under Chloe's comforting arms right now, but there's no harm in trying. I jump out of bed and hurry to the basketball gym. This is the only place I know I could find him. If he's not there then it's not meant for me to comfort him tonight. But the thing is I find him there in his uniform, playing basketball all by himself.

"So you've heard," he notices my arrival but he doesn't look at me. "Chloe must have told you."

He mentions her name, and I wonder if she told him already.

"My roommate told me," I answer.

"Oh. Kimmy Jin, right?"

"Right."

He nods his head then runs fast towards the hoop and smashes the ball in a powerful dunk. I know right then that Stan is frustrated. He never dunks the ball during practice, but only when he's frustrated.

"You okay?" I ask him.

He chuckles in response.

"How's your hand, kiddo?"

I shrug, "Still sore, but it's healing."

"Can you play?"

"I can give it a try."

He does another dunk.

"Look, Stan, there's still a next game."

He grabs the ball and not so gently passes it to me. I feel the pain travel across my right hand as the ball makes an impact against it.

"One-on-one," he declares, and positions himself on guard. "Your ball."

I am taken aback by the sudden challenge. I look into his eyes and I don't see my brother in his usual self. Not a good sign.

"Stan, we don't have to-"

He cuts me off, "Just play, Beca."

I give him a look one more time then lets out a deep sigh. Okay, I will play. Just because he is my brother and because I know he desperately needs this right now. I start dribbling the ball, slowly at first, to condition my hand with playing and my mind with the pain growing with every movement.

"First one to shoot three," he instructs, his eyes fixed on the ball under my care.

I nod my head absentmindedly then automatically try to get past him, I just want to get this over with as soon as possible and talk to him appropriately, but he manages to steal the ball from me then shoots it as soon as he reaches the three-point area. The ball goes right in. This is going to take longer than I hope it would be.

"That's one," he gets the ball then passes it back to me as we move back to the initial position. "Your ball again, kiddo."

Something's not right. This is not how we play, but I don't plan on getting on his bad side so I continue anyway. Again, I try my best to get past him, but he catches the ball with his hand when I made it to the restricted area. He runs back to the base area, I don't follow anymore because there's no point, and he makes another three-point shot.

"Two," he announces, retrieves the ball, and passes it back to me. "Come on, is that all you can do? Play as best as you can, will 'ya?"

I dribble the ball for who knows how long, just staring at my brother. His eyes are blank making me clueless of what's really wrong with him. His eyes are just watching the ball wherever my hand takes it. So what I do is fake a jump and he buys it, I move past him immediately and make a successful lay-up shot.

"There," I turn to him.

He chuckles for the second time since I arrived, "Good."

I pick the ball up and pass it to him as we move back to the starting area.

"My teammates would say," he starts to dribble the ball, and I guard him up. "this ball is like this one person you love more than anyone or anything in the world. You don't want your enemies to steal it from you. Sometimes, you get so greedy that you don't want even your friends to take it from you. So what you do is you take good care of it or else, at any point, somebody will steal it away. You do everything and give everything you have just to make her stay."

It's Chloe. He's referring to Chloe. He knows already. Chloe has told Stan about me. How? When did she tell him? I become too busy pondering about Stan's words that when he jumps to shoot the ball for his third shot, I simply freeze on the ground. I look up and follow the ball's path. I watch Chloe disappear from me forever, and for a moment I die, but thankfully, the ball lands on the ring and bounces back. While Stan's still in the air, I rebound the ball, run to the base area, and a split second earlier than Stan, I jump to make a fade away shot from the area causing me to land on my back. But the ball goes right into the basket. The score now is tied to 2.

Stan turns to me upset and I tell him, "You took a shot, you missed, the ball was falling and I was the one in time to catch it. Maybe that's what you call destiny, Stan."

If this is our usual game, he would give me a hand and help me get back to my feet, but instead he glares down at me and proceeds to retrieve the ball. I help myself up and I feel the pain stings from my knuckles down to my wrist. I guess I hurt my hand pretty bad last night. I don't know if I can still play.

"The one who makes the next shot wins the game," my brother passes the ball to me, I pass it back, and the ball is set. He dribbles the ball with his hand and I watch it intently. "Whoever wins gets Chloe."

What?

I don't have time to process the new information because Stan starts to move forward and so I have to follow his move and block his way. After some time, he tries to sneak past by me, but I manage to smash the ball off his hand causing more pain on my right hand, and we both race for it as it goes back to the three-point area.

Now I have the ball, and so my brother wastes no time to guard me. It hurts too much to dribble the ball with my right hand, but I fight through it. After some time, with his tight guard and all, I can no longer bear the pain that I have to slow down with the dribbling and so Stan sees this as an opportunity to steal the ball. I try to steal it back only to fail. He runs past me towards the basket, purposely bumping his shoulder with mine and in the process causing me to fall back down. Charge, but who cares? From the looks of it, I won't be able to catch up, so the only option is give up and accept defeat.

But Stan's words ring in my head. _'Whoever wins gets Chloe'. _What the hell are we doing? Chloe's not some prize we have to compete for. So I push myself up and run after my brother. He jumps to dunk the ball with all his resentment, and so I jump as high as I can to block his shot. I close my eyes as the impact hits my right hand causing enormous pain. I think I heard some bones crack but I ignore it. The ball flies away to the seats and both Stan and I fall on the floor.

He runs to me in a hurry, "Are you okay? I heard your bones crack."

My brother is back. This is the Stan I know, but I'm too upset with him right now so I push him off me and glare at him.

"What the hell was that, Stan?"

He stops.

"Really?" I struggle to stand back up to my feet. "We're going to compete over Chloe? That's your idea? I thought you're such a smartass, Stan."

He frowns knowing how ridiculous the idea is.

"She loves you," I tell him because that's the truth. "She wasn't even doing anything but she already felt like cheating on you, and she'd rather let herself suffer than hurt you. Look, I was the one who kissed her, okay? But after that, she asked me how about you. Stan, she loves you enough to tell you the truth and she loves you enough to stay with you."

He mutters, "But that's not enough for me."

I feel like punching my brother for what he said and for what he previously did, however, I decide not to.

"Then that's your problem, Stan."

I turn my back on him and head towards the door, holding my right hand in pain, and walk out of the gym.

* * *

It's been a week since that one-on-one basketball game with Stan. It's been a week since I last saw Chloe. I haven't heard from any of them since then. I figure it's a better set up for all of us that I am out of the picture. But sometimes, I still get so sad that Kimmy Jin would even let me sleep next to her on her bed, but I guess this is better. We all made a decision. It's not the most convenient decision of all, but we all have to be brave enough to face the consequences.

"Hey there."

I look up from my homework to see Aubrey Posen smiling down at me. I smile back at her and make a room for her on the grass.

"What's that you're doing?" she asks.

I shrug, "Stupid Math homework."

"Ooh."

"Long time no see," I tell her. "I heard the Bellas are doing great at the ICCAs. Congratulations to you, guys."

She nods her head with pride and joy, "We are going to take home the championship trophy this year, just wait and see. Actually, I want you to be there at the Lincoln Center."

"I'll try."

"What do you mean try?" she throws me a death glare. "Come on, you're an honorary Bella. Besides, everyone wants you there."

"Everyone?" I inquire. Does Chloe want me there?

The Captain suddenly frowns.

"Anyway, I said I'll try, Aubrey," I try to cheer her up by shooting her a wide grin. "I'm going back to Michigan before the year ends. I'll convince my mom to come watch with me then maybe she can buy me a plane ticket to New York or something, okay?"

She simply nods and becomes quiet for a while. So I offer her my bag of chips and surprisingly, she takes a handful and starts eating.

"How have you been lately?" she asks me.

"I'm feeling better."

"I see you let go of those filthy bandages of yours already."

I chuckle, "Yeah. Kimmy Jin said the fractured bones will completely heal in no time."

"So you're leaving. For good? Are you really leaving? I mean, aren't you going to change your mind?"

I sneer at her, "Sounds like somebody's going to miss me pretty badly huh?"

"Ha! You wish," she snorts.

"I never wanted to come here to Barden in the first place. I always wanted to go to L.A. but my mom insisted so…"

"But admit it, you had some good time here at Barden."

"I'll start to admit it when you start to admit that you're going to miss me, Aubrey."

"Believe what you want to believe, Beca."

I laugh.

"Well, do you really have to go?"

"You know I have to," I smile at her bitterly.

Suddenly, she asks me, "Aren't you going to ask me about her?"

I sigh. Aubrey has never changed. She always knows what kind of questions to ask me. Honestly, since I saw her today, I've been dying to ask her about Chloe, I only opted not to. But since The Captain initiated the idea, might as well get on with it.

"How's Chloe?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Aubrey lets out a small laugh. "She looks just like you. In fact, exactly like you. She pretends like she's okay and like she doesn't miss you at all, but you can't fool Aubrey Posen. I know she's just as miserable as you are."

"I thought I said I'm feeling better," I roll my eyes.

She hits my right hand.

"Ouch!" I hide my hand away from her claws. "What was that for?"

She smirks, "That is to remind you of how painful it is to lose someone you want to stay with you forever."

I stare at her. She's good.

"You know what's really funny?" she chuckles. "There are so many people in the world who could make us feel loved and cherished, but instead we choose that one person we know we're not meant to be with."

Where on earth does she get these ideas from?

"Maybe next time we don't do that, huh?" she pats my shoulder and then stands up. "Now I'm going to leave you on your own. Don't kill yourself over that Math homework, okay?"

"I'll kill this shit if it doesn't work for me," I snort. "Can you not stay a little longer though?"

"Sorry. I'm going out," she beams.

"Ooh. Somebody has a date. Who's the very _un_lucky guy?"

"Jesse," she answers casually. "I promised I'd mend his broken heart."

Jesse. Jesse Swanson and Aubrey Posen. Wow. Who would have thought? I'm glad that Jesse has finally found his match, that one person who is willing to give him everything I wouldn't, and I'm just glad that it's Aubrey. I'm happy for the two of them, so I give her a playful grin.

"Shut up," she shoots back. "Touch-move. You let him go already."

I laugh, "Touch-move?"

"Yes," she nods. "Steal him away from me and I'll bury you alive, Beca. I swear to my aca-amazing voice."

"You have nothing to worry about," I assure her. "Wait. Is that why you've always hated me?"

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes and starts to walk away. "Good luck with your pathetic love life, Beca Mitchell."

"Have fun on your date, Aubrey Posen," I shout as loud as I can so everybody else can hear it. I see Aubrey's face blush and I can't help but laugh.

* * *

"Hello?"

I hear Chloe's voice from the other end of the line, "Beca?"

God, I miss her voice so much.

"Chloe."

"I'm sorry but I needed to call."

"What's up?"

"Have you seen Stan?"

"Um," I hesitate for a moment. "No. Why? Something wrong?"

"He said he needs to talk to you," she sounds so worried.

"Should I be worried about that?"

I hear her sigh, "No. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just overreacting."

"Tell you what, I'll call you immediately as soon as I hear from him."

"Okay," that seems to calm her down a bit. "Thanks, Beca."

"No problem."

The conversation is almost over now and I brace myself for the possibility of not hearing her voice ever again.

"Take care always," she tells me then I hear the end of it.

Stan throws a quick glance at me, "What does she need?"

"She's looking for you," I answer.

Yes, during that entire duration of conversation with Chloe, I'm sitting next to Stan in his car as he drives us around town. I have no idea where he's taking us, but when he gives me a call earlier this afternoon, I didn't care. I simply met up with him at the diner, and now we're cruising around.

"She said you needed to talk to me."

"Is it true?" he asks me. "Is it true that you're going back home to Michigan?"

"As soon as the semester ends. I just want to finish my classes then I'm good to go."

"Why?"

I sigh, "I don't belong here, Stan."

"Is it because of me? And Chloe?"

"I've done enough to ruin such a perfect relationship. You're my brother. I love you, and I just want you to be happy. I truly believe that when I'm gone, maybe everything will go back to normal. There's no more Beca to ruin everything."

"But I also want you to be happy, kiddo."

I chuckle, "Cheeseball."

And it makes him laugh as well. Oh how I wish we could really all go back to normal.

"You know, I find your basketball-girl logic really stupid."

"How so?"

"You want to keep the girl not throw her into a basket!" I exclaim. "Perhaps, a Temple Run logic? Wherever you go, there are always coins everywhere. You'd jump high and low, slide down, and swing side-to-side just to get the girl."

My brother nods in agreement, "Good job, kiddo. Now you're finally using your brain."

Yes, I'm using my brain now because my heart is too fucked up to make decisions.

"But seriously," I turn to him. "I would be really happy knowing you're taking good care of Chloe."

He replies with a wink, "That I can do."

Stan and I become quiet for a while until he pulls over to the side of the road.

"Why did you pull over?" I inquire.

My brother replies, "I'm about to do something stupid, Beca. And I can't get you involved."

Suddenly, I become nervous. What is he going to do? And how stupid it is?

"Stan?"

"You have five seconds to get out of this car," he announces.

I decide, "No. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to let you do 'something stupid' all by yourself."

For a moment, he looks at me intently, but I only cross my hand on my chest indicating that there's nothing he would say or do that can make me change my mind now. Whatever he's going to do, I'm staying with him. Defeated, he starts to drive back on the road. We stay on our seat quietly. I don't ask but I'm curious about this 'something stupid'. For the first few minutes, everything seems normal to me. It's when he doesn't slow down when the yellow light flashes to our faces that I notice the car speeding up.

"Stan?" I turn to him. "What are you doing?"

He doesn't answer. I look into the speedometer and my observation is correct, we are indeed speeding up.

"Stan, you're about to go over a hundred. Slow down."

Still, he doesn't respond.

"Stan!" I yell at him. "Slow down the car!"

"I told you to get out!" he yells back.

"If this is your 'something stupid' then this is a pretty damn stupid idea, Stan!"

He steps into the accelerator even more and I realize there's no more stopping him. I simply hold on to whatever I can hold on to and brace for the worst thing that could happen to us.

"Red! Red! That's a Red!"

I scream as we approach the intersection but he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't stop or slow down. Suddenly, there's this car coming from our left, speeding up as a green light is flashing on its direction. I reach for the steering wheel and force it to turn to the left. If Stan doesn't want to stop, I hope we would at least turn around and avoid the potential collision. All I could make out is my scream, Stan's grunts, the sound of horns blowing hysterically, the flashes of blinding lights, wheels screeching against the road, and our car spinning around uncontrollably. Until finally, Stan steps on the brake and we successfully come to a full stop.

I lean back to my seat and I finally start breathing again along with my heartbeat trying to slow down. I thought I'm going to die right there. Shit. I look over at my brother and he's just clutching on the steering wheel catching his own breath.

"That was stupid," I hiss at him. "That was really really _really_ fucking stupid, Stan."

He mutters, "I'm sorry."

"Why would you do that?"

"She's still in love with you. You know that?" he smiles at me bitterly with tears strolling down his face. I can only stare at my brother while holding my breath once again. "Yeah, she still loves me like before… but not as much as she loves you now."

"Stan."

Honestly, I don't know what to say to make him feel better because honestly, I don't know if he could still feel better.

"I figured you don't need to leave, Beca. That won't solve anything because the real problem here is me. I figured I'm the one who has to go. I remove myself out of the picture then everybody's happy."

I scream at him frustratingly, "By killing yourself? You think I'm going to be happy about that? Seriously, Stan?"

He only stares back at me.

"This is a fucking bull," I shake my head and free myself from the seatbelt. "I'm getting out of here, Stan. I'll talk to you when you stop being such an idiot."

I open the door and climb out of the car. I start to head to the sidewalk. I wait for Stan to call out my name, to stop me, but nothing comes. So I keep on walking and walking. I fight the urge to turn around because that was really a fucking stupid idea he has. It was even worse than the one-on-one basketball match. In no time, I see a car fast approaching and the thing I hear is a loud screech and blowing of horn, a long one, before I turn around just in time to witness this huge delivery truck smashes into my brother's BMW.

* * *

_Song Title: Chasing Car – Snow Patrol_

_Just so you know, I had fun writing the MitchSen part, but my favorite part in this chapter is certainly the conversation between Beca and Chloe while in the car. It was short but very meaningful for both of them. Um, excuse me, I think I still have tears on my face._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.

_PS. The end is near…_


	12. Dead Hearts

_First things first. I think one of the best parts of being 'an author' is when you start to influence other's work without meaning to. If you enjoyed the 'She is the Sunlight' chapter, then you should go check out this BeChloe songfic 'She is the Sunlight' by itsamatterofperception. Here's the link: s/9397552/1/She-is-the-Sunlight_

_Now I'm happy to announce that Poison & Wine had been added to a community, and I'm really happy that this fanfic is now considered as one of the 'Favorite BeChloe fanfics'. Go check out the other amazing stories there! :)_

_**Bechloe fan:**__ Wow. I'm really flattered. You make me feel like a celebrity. Hahaha! Now with the kiss… SPOILER ALERT! There's exactly one BeChloe conversation in this chapter and it's very inappropriate to talk about the kiss so I'll try to explain it on the next chapter, is that okay? :)_

_**Guest4:**__ I really appreciate the idea but well we can't redo that part now. I'm not always a big fan of big arguments that's why I opted to do the basketball one-on-one scene. I don't know about you, but I think your idea and my idea are just the same anyway and in my humble opinion, the basketball match was more hurtful because as they played with 'their eyes burning with hurt,' all the feelings are restrained to themselves, it was only at the last part that Beca burst out. They tried to express the anger and sadness through the way they played. And that basketball match was I think important to be part of it because it defines the relationship of Beca and Stan as siblings. More than Chloe, it connects them together like it's their own paradise, and it's really sad that it felt so different for the both of them._

_**anon:**__ let's see…_

_**Daffusizers**__: Wow! I really like your review. You really got the Stan and Beca emotions right. And now I feel like I really made the best choice when I chose 'Chasing Cars' :) thank you!_

_**u r awesome: **__first of all, I want to say I missed you! :) and now that this story is almost over, I'd like to thank you for being the first one to review this fanfic ever. I'll never forget that. You are awesome! :)_

_**YuffeGetsBears:**__ Now I'm laughing with the American Dad thing. LOL. I can't believe you read the whole story in one go. I mean, every chapter since the sixth one, I die and it takes me a couple of days to be alive again and you read it in one go. I just wanna know if you're still breathing. LOL_

_**MysticFalls94: **__I'm feeling sad that it's going to end soon too :(_

_This chapter is the hardest to right for me. I honestly thought I've run out of ideas. I didn't know what to put in here, but I'm glad about how it turned out. Now all I can say right now about this chapter is that brace yourselves for tears of joy…_

* * *

CHAPTER TWELVE: **Dead Hearts**

A group of nurses wheel the newly-arrived, still unconscious and covered with blood patient, Stan Mitchell, down into the emergency room with me trailing by his side. Phil immediately meets me up.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he demands an answer, but I can only stare at him and cry. He shakes me up trying to bring me back from my disoriented thoughts. "Beca!"

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him. "This is all my fault. Save him. Please!"

He gives me a nod and sends me out. I try to protest because I want to stay by my brother's side. I need to know that he's okay, that he's going to make it.

"I won't let anything bad happen to Stan, Beca," Phil promises to me and that little assurance calms me down a bit. I stand there for a little while just to make sure one last time but then I slowly start to make my way to the waiting area, and let the medical authorities do their job. But as I do so, I hear one of them shout 'clear' and I just know that it's bad. It's really bad.

* * *

Now I don't know how long it's been, but all I can make out is that I have my back leaned on the wall and my body sunk down on the floor as I wait for a doctor or a nurse to come out of the emergency room and tell me what the hell is happening to my brother. I look up to the ceiling hoping that the tears would freaking stop from falling, but it proves to be worthless so I went back to staring down the floor.

_What the hell, Stan!_

It was a pretty stupid idea of him to think that killing himself off would solve this bizarre love triangle that we are all in. But if you think about it, it's actually my fault. Chloe's right. She and Stan were having this perfect fairytale relationship. All of a sudden, I came into their lives and basically ruined everything for them. It's definitely my fault. I should have stayed in the car. I should have known that something worse was coming, pushed him out of the car, and waited for the stupid delivery truck to hit my face. I should be the one lying unconsciously on that hospital bed and suffering in the emergency room. I should be the one who must die tonight.

Suddenly, I see a pair of feet standing in front of me. No, it's not a doctor or a nurse. The knees bent down until Chloe is on my eye level.

"He's still in there," I mumble.

She wipes my tears and the beads of sweat with her hands, "You can go take a quick look if you want."

I'm glad that she doesn't panic. I know she's worried too but won't let it show because frankly, it's going to freak me out. She's going to be one of those doctors someday, it's good to practice acting so calm around a worried sibling now.

"No," I shake my head. "I'm scared."

"Are you okay?" she holds my hand.

I shake my head once again. No, I'm not okay. My brother is in the freaking emergency room, they were using a defibrillator on him, and I have no idea if he's going to make it.

"He's going to be okay," she tells me and I have to believe her. We both have to believe that.

I take a peek into her eyes, "It's my fault."

"That's not true, Beca," I feel her hands on my face one more time. "You have done nothing wrong. You just fell in love, that's it."

I swallow hard and breathe out, "I should have never let you in."

I see her face fell. I can't blame her, but she can't blame me either for speaking out those words.

"You shouldn't have," she finally agrees, as she sits next to me with her back leaned on the wall as well. "We're doomed from the start anyway."

Yes, we are.

"I can totally understand if you don't want to see me or talk to me ever again," she says. "Aubrey said you're leaving. I can't blame you for that."

Of course, Aubrey would tell her best friend the news.

I stand up. I realize I can't be in the same room with Chloe anymore. It doesn't feel right anymore especially that Stan is right in there in the emergency room fighting for his life, I do hope his fighting back.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"Home," I answer and start to head towards the exit. "I can't be here anymore."

She looks hesitant for a moment but nods her head anyway, "I'll text you then for update."

"Okay. Thanks."

And I walk out of the building.

* * *

"Come on, Stan. You need to play."

I dribble the basketball with my hands as I wait for my brother who is wearing this awful hospital gown to finally turn around and look at me.

"Stan!" I call out one more time but he only takes a quick glance at me before staring back to the blackness.

"I'm not going to play anymore," is all he say.

I hold the ball with my two hands, "But this is what we always do… since we were kids, remember?"

"But we're no longer kids," he softly chuckles. "It's not just mom's quesadilla that we're playing for anymore."

"What? I don't understand you."

He starts to walk away.

"Stan," I call out. "Where are you going? Don't leave me."

"You're on your own now, kiddo."

He keeps on walking, never turning his face around ever again. For a while, I become frightened. What if I don't get to see my brother's face ever again?

"Stan?"

I hope he turns around, but before anything, a huge delivery truck suddenly hits him. That's when I finally wake up from such a bad dream, startled. I try to catch my breath as I look at my present surrounding. I'm not in the gym, no basketball, no Stan, and no delivery truck. It's all but a nightmare.

"Beca?" I hear Kimmy Jin's voice and I feel her sit up through the darkness. "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine," I stammer. "Sorry, I woke you up. Just go back to sleep, Kimmy Jin."

I wait for the sound of rustling sheets against my roommate's bed just to make sure she has really gone back to sleep. I reach over for my cellphone to check for messages or calls. Nothing. Chloe said she would keep me posted. Does it mean Stan's still in emergency?

I decide to get out of the room to the corridors and give Chloe a call, but as I hear her phone ringing against my ear, I feel this instant guilt so I hurriedly tap the end button. Instead, I dial a different number.

"Hello?" I hear my mom's sleepy voice at the other end of the line. By the sound of it, I am certain she has not been informed about the accident yet. "This is Veronica Grant speaking."

I croak, "Mom?"

"Beca?" her voice becomes alarmed and worried all of a sudden. "Something wrong, honey? Are you okay?"

"Would you…" I start, but pause as I think about the idea of what I'm about to say. "Would you come… p-pick me up?"

She becomes hesitant for a moment, "Honey, what do you mean 'pick you up'?"

"I want to go back home," I cry out. "To Detroit. I want to go back home to you, mom."

"But I thought you want to finish the semester first."

"I want to go home _now_."

"What happened, Beca? Tell me."

"I just really want to go home, mom."

I start crying. I don't want to be here anymore. It's more than enough that Stan was in that car accident. It's time to leave. I want to go back to the security of my mother's arms.

"Alright," I hear her sigh. "I will come to Barden as soon as I can, honey. There are still lots of arrangements to make though. For now, what I need you to do is to go to sleep and take some rest. Can you do that for me, honey?"

I don't answer. I want to go home now.

"Beca, I need you to be okay. Promise me you'd be okay. Don't make me worry."

I take a deep breath and tell her, "I will be okay, mom. I promise."

* * *

_He'll be staying in the hospital for a while, but he's safe now._

I read Chloe's text message over and over. I notice she didn't give the full details of my brother's current condition. It's just a simple general statement. Maybe she expects me to text her back and ask for further information, but I don't. I have decided that knowing he is now far from danger is more than enough.

I stand outside Dr. Phillip Mitchell Sr. Memorial Hospital still clutching my phone in my hands. I look up to the tall white building and I wonder which among those rooms has Stan in it. I wonder what he looks like now. I remember the bruises and cuts all over his body especially on his face. Does he still look like the same Stan that I know? I hope he's awake now. I remember his eyes closed last night and I remember the terror I felt. I have memorized every second that past as the delivery truck went straight to my brother's car. I attempted to run and save him, but I was too late. All I found after was his body covered in blood and sandwiched inside the totally wrecked car. I'm just thankful that he is alive and safe now because I honestly thought that I would lose him forever last night. Well, if that happened, I would never forgive myself and I would live all my remaining days in guilt and despair.

Stan is already being taken good care of as he lies on his hospital bed. I picture Phil coming in his room every five minutes and how that would annoy Stan to death. I picture Chloe trying to feed him with soup and fruits and how it would magically make him feel brand new. So I simply smile to myself because I figure soon there's really nothing to worry about. Soon, somehow, everything will go back to normal. Phil won't have to tolerate his rebellious daughter. Stan and Chloe will have the happy ending they have always envisioned together. And I… I'm going back to Detroit, Michigan and try to forget. I give the tall building one last look and return to Barden and attend my classes.

* * *

I hurriedly run out of the classroom, pushing my way out to the door through a crowd of students as I answer my goddamn phone ringing loudly in my pocket.

It's my mom. I slide to answer, "Mom! I was in class!"

"Your brother is in the hospital?" I can tell by her voice that she's freaking out. She finally knows. "You two got into a car accident? Why didn't you tell me?"

I sigh. How do I explain the events to her?

"I know it would freak you out," that's my excuse.

"So if your father didn't give me a call, you will never tell me?"

I roll my eyes, "Of course, I would tell you. It's just that-"

"Is that why you have all this 'I want to go back home to Michigan' thing going on all of a sudden, _Rebecca Mitchell_?" she cuts me off.

I grit my teeth. I hate it when she calls me by my full name. It makes me feel like I'm doing everything really wrong.

"First of all, I wasn't in the car when the accident happened."

"But Stan was. Now he's wearing this neck brace and had a knee replacement operation. I think that would be enough reason for me to get worried, huh?"

What? Neck brace? Knee replacement?

"Now maybe you want to tell me what _really_ happened there."

I don't respond. How do you explain that my smartass of a brother has gone insane over a girl? How do you explain that her lovable son thought about killing himself off instead of just letting her go?

"It was an accident," I mutter. "It was really dark. The light just turned green, Stan wasn't able to move right away. Just all of a sudden this delivery truck came rushing."

"Is this about Chloe?"

I stop. Of course, my mom would know about that.

"Phil told me about your fractured hand as well, just so you know, Beca. Within the week, both of my children had a trip to the emergency room! So just imagine my surprise when he gave me the call."

I shake my head. Phil and his stupid mouth.

"Is _she_ really this important that you and your brother have to go through all these mess because of her?"

_Yes_. Well, maybe Stan and I have both gone so crazy over this redheaded girl. So this is how it feels when you're in love. You tend to do crazy and stupid things.

"That's why I'm coming home, mom," I tell her. "Stan, Chloe, and I… the three of us don't fit together anymore. Nobody wants to let go of Chloe, so the only way to solve the puzzle now is to take one of the two remaining pieces away. Stan survived the accident. I guess that's my call. I have to go."

I hear her sigh, "Okay. I'm coming down there as soon as I can leave my work. Just try to stay out of trouble until then, will 'ya?"

"I promised, didn't I? I will be okay. Stan will be."

"Okay," my mother finally calms down. "I'll see you soon, honey. I love you."

"Yeah, mom. You too."

I tap the end button on my phone screen. Just when I thought I can finally breathe again, my entire head is covered with what feels like a smooth sackcloth. I feel two pair of hands grab me by my shoulders and arms. God, somebody's going to kidnap me. I start to panic so I try to scream and jerk off, but then, I feel a huge body tackle me to the ground and I suddenly smell burritos everywhere. Now I let myself relax. In fact, I start to chuckle quietly to myself. This feels like being kidnapped by the Bellas. This feels like joining the Barden Bellas all over again.

* * *

The burrito-scented lady gently shoves me down to what feels like a folding chair. Fat Amy finally pulls the sackcloth off my head, and I desperately breathe for fresh air. I notice the wide grin on my face slowly fades away as I look around. My guess is right, they brought me to the small auditorium which serves as the headquarters for the Barden Bellas, but I am startled to see that all of my former groupmates except Chloe and the Treblemakers with Benji instead of Bumper are all there. I think I have to pick up my jaw from the floor.

"Places," Aubrey orders them, and everybody walks towards the university chairs strategically placed opposite my chair forming a pyramid except that there are two chairs in front.

"Um, Aubrey, what the hell is going on?"

But she doesn't give me an answer. Everybody takes their seats on their assigned chairs. I notice that on top of each writing tablet is a red cup placed upside down.

"Cups?"

Still no answer.

"Can anybody please tell me what the hell is happening here?"

I turn to Jesse who is seated next to Aubrey at the first row and he throws a smile at me, "This is for you, Beca."

With that, Jesse and Aubrey start to do the musical pattern to the song _Cups_ – my audition piece for the Barden Bellas. Accompanied by a harmonious music background produced only by their mouths, the rest of them start to do the pattern as well after the first round.

"_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round  
__Two bottle whiskey for the way  
__And I sure would like some sweet company  
__But I'm leaving tomorrow. What d'you say?"_

Aubrey sings the lead while the others serve as the second voices.

"_When I'm gone, when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me by my hair  
__You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_

"_When I'm gone, when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me by my walk  
__You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_

Benji does the solo transition part, then it's Jesse's turn to sing.

"_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round  
__The one with the prettiest of views  
__It's got mountains, it's got rivers  
__It's got sights to give you shivers  
__But it sure would be prettier with you."_

"_When I'm gone, when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me by my walk  
__You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_

Aubrey joins him for the remaining parts of the song.

"_When I'm gone, when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me by my walk  
__You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_

"_When I'm gone, when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
__You're gonna miss me by my walk  
__You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
__You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_

Then, there's silence. I swear if a needle drops on the floor, it would feel like a thousand rocks falling from the sky. I can even hear Lily's voice when she points out to me that I have tears falling from my eyes. I chuckle and shake my head at the same time. I look over at Aubrey and she's crying as well. In fact, all the other Bellas do.

"You are all crazy, you know that?" I tell them. They all nod and that makes me chuckle even more. "But really, thank you."

Still, nobody talks to me.

I sigh, "You're gonna miss me when I'm gone?"

"Yes," finally they answer me in chorus.

"That's what I thought," I direct my eyes specifically on Aubrey. "Now give me some hugs."

They all move towards me and we are all caught up in one group hug. I think about how silly I have been all these years. Today, I have finally realized that there is so much love in this world. All my life I have been living in such a dark and cold place when the truth is I didn't have to. When Phil walked out of my life, I thought he brought with him all the rainbows in me. I spent all my days searching for the love I thought no longer exists. When I decided Chloe and I will never work, I thought indeed I will never find love that will ever last. But then right here, in the arms of the Bellas and the Trebles, I know I have found a kind of love that will always last through time and distance, and that's what you call friendship. Now how can I get my ass leave Barden when this bunch of crazies is making me feel this way?

* * *

I stand at the Mitchel residence for the first time in my whole damn life. I stare at the huge door for what feels like eternity. I never thought even for once that I would find myself in this place, but that's the same thing with Barden University. After my first class, I got this message from Stan.

_I can't stand being in the hospital anymore. Dad brought me back to the house. You might want to come visit me, kiddo. Been waiting for you. I miss you already._

So I take a deep breath and ring the doorbell. A petite woman with jet-black hair and a pair of eyeglasses opens the door for me.

"Beca," Sheila looks surprised to see me, but I try to flash a smile at her. "Wow. You're here."

In awkward situations like this, I can only nod my head and purse my lips.

"Um, come in," she makes way for me so I walk in. The house is huge. With how much money Phil is making, I expected this. "Your father will be home in a few."

"Actually, I'm here to see Stan."

"Oh. Right. I… I'll show you to his room then."

I follow Sheila as she walks up to the stairs to the second floor then turns right and stop at the first door with a poster of Michael Jordan doing the famous airwalk dunk on it. This is it, Stan's room.

"Just go right in," she instructs me.

I flash another forced smile, "Thanks."

I'm about to walk in when Sheila turns to me again and say, "I'm glad you're here, Beca."

"I am too," I nod my head and give her a genuine grin this time. "And I'm glad you're here, Sheila."

I can tell that simple statement made her feel so happy, and that makes me feel great also. I should have come here years ago.

I push the door open and let myself in, "Stan?"

"Beca," Stan struggles to sit up.

I hurry to his side, "You don't have to sit, just lie down."

"But I want to," he insists.

I add another pillow on his back for support so he could sit comfortably as possible. Then we become quiet just looking anywhere else. I let my eyes wander around the room. As earlier suspected, his other basketball trophies are being kept here. Now with this condition, I wonder if he's still going to join his team for the remaining games of the season. I keep looking until my eyes fall on his bedside table. One frame has a picture of me and Stan back when we were kids with our mother. I remember Phil took that picture. The second frame has a picture of Phil and Sheila with the Great Wall of China on the background. The third one, the one nearest to him and separated from the other two frames by a digital alarm clock, has a picture of Stan and Chloe, and I realize even more how much important she is to him. He's holding a dozen of balloons in variety of shapes and sizes, and she was giving him a kiss on his cheek. They both look so happy. That's how it was before I came here. Yeah, I was never meant to be in that same picture.

"Aubrey took that picture," he tells me as if he was reading my thoughts. "It was the first time that Chloe and I celebrated Valentine's Day together."

"You two looked so happy."

I hear him chuckle. Even with that, he struggles.

"Man, this hurts a lot."

And I wonder if he meant his ribs or his heart.

"You don't look so hot anymore with that neck brace, by the way."

"Did you just say I'm hot?" he wears that usual playful grin.

"It's mandatory, you know."

He softly chuckles again but suddenly becomes serious.

"Are you still leaving?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to miss you, kiddo."

So he doesn't try to stop me anymore. I nod my head and smile, "I'm going to miss you too, Stan."

"Have you talked to Chloe?" he asks. The mere mention of her name by my brother brings back all the guilt in me.

"Not since she came to the hospital right after the accident."

"Aubrey said the Bellas and the Trebles gave you a farewell performance."

"Chloe wasn't there," I try not to sound too defensive.

"Maybe she's not ready to say goodbye."

"Stan," I give him a look.

"No, really. Maybe she doesn't want to say goodbye. Maybe she doesn't want to see you go."

"Stop it, Stan."

"What?"

"We've talked about this."

"I was just saying."

"Don't."

And we both stay quiet for a while.

"Do you know that when I woke up for the first time after the accident, for a brief period of time, I couldn't remember who I am and everybody in the room was really worried?" he contains his laughter. "But not even for a moment did I forget the feeling of losing Chloe… it's really scary and sad."

"When I'm gone, we can all go back to normal. You can be this picture perfect couple again."

Stan reaches for my hand and holds it tight, "Thank you, Beca. Thank you. I will never forget that my little sister has been ever willing to give up everything for me."

"_Younger _sister."

He chuckles again.

"I'm sorry I'm letting you do this. I'm such a coward. And yes, I can be this selfish… because I am so in love with her. But maybe someday I can return the favor."

"I'll call you when I'm in trouble," I wink at him then we share a laugh.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door and Phil's head appears through the gap.

"Dinner's ready."

Slowly, I assist Stan as he climbs off the bed then hand him his crutches.

* * *

The dinner with Phil, Sheila, and Stan was incredibly and surprisingly great. We fed Sheila with our childhood stories and Phil would supply those embarrassing accounts which he's the only one who can still remember or perhaps, as Stan and I agreed, never really happened. I look at ourselves and I smile to myself because we look like a family. It would have been better if my mom is here. I know she would be really happy that I'm finally letting these people in.

After dinner, Phil requested me to go with him to his study room. If I was the old Beca, I would have rudely declined, but then I wouldn't be here in his house in the first place. So I follow his lead.

"I heard you're leaving," Phil starts.

"In a few days," I respond. "I'm just waiting for mom."

He nods his head, "I won't force you to stay, don't worry."

"Thanks."

"You forgot this in the hospital when you were there," he gives me a single-stemmed rose. It's the one given by Chloe, but it's dead now.

"Just throw it away," I tell him. I can't have it anyway. It's not meant for me to have it.

But Phil only puts it back on the table.

"Your brother almost died again," he says and I pay all my attention to him. "The day after the accident, his heart stopped for 5 seconds, and I honestly thought I'm going to lose him forever."

I don't know what to say.

"That's how I've always felt with you, Beca. All these years felt exactly like that 5 seconds. You're like this walking person with a dead heart… and every day it feels like I'm losing you more and more 'til it's inevitable. The worst part of it is that I know it's my fault. I killed you. I killed you and I don't know how to bring you back to life."

Phil starts crying and I do not know how to respond.

"You're going back to Michigan again and with what happened between you and your brother, you might never want to come back. I'm sorry if you always feel like I'm turning my back on you. The truth is I don't know how to face you, Beca. I don't know how to put all the pieces back together. I try to meet your expectations with the hope that you would finally think I'm trying not to fail you. However, it seems to me that it's what I always end up doing. I figure you want me out so that's what I do."

Shit, now I'm crying too.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you," he reaches for my hands. "You're my daughter, and I love you _very_ _much_. You can hate me for as long as you want. I understand if you don't ever want to forgive me. But I just need you to remember that you're always in my heart, Beca."

With that, I tiptoe and give him an embrace. After thirteen years, for the first time, I give him a big embrace, and I'm just happy that he embraces me back. After thirteen years of feeling so incomplete, the huge hole in my heart is filled once again.

"I love you, dad."

Just like that I have given him everything he asked me back at the hospital. I have forgiven him, I have called him 'dad', and finally, I am welcoming him back to my life. It's not because I feel pity for him, not because he asked me to, but simply because I want this too.

* * *

_Song Titles: (Chapter Title) Dead Hearts – Stars (2) Cups (When I'm Gone) – Kara Della Valle and Grace Doty ft. Otto Tunes __*****__I strongly recommend that you listen to it as you read and imagine Aubrey's and Jesse's voices. It really works to me! :)_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.

_**PS. **__Last chapter in a few days :(_


	13. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

_Okay, so this is the last time I'm going to respond to your reviews :(_

_**Guest **__(the one who is really annoyed):__You can blame Beca for staying away from Chloe. I mean, I only know what she knows. LOL. But kidding aside, I think by limiting the exposure of Chloe's emotions has created the mysteries, frustrations, and surprises in this story and it made this fanfic likable to many. I mean, the fact that you've read all 12 chapters means something, right? So I guess I've annoyed you the right way ;)_

_**faberryluving:**__ My bestfriend hates him since the beginning. LOL_

_**Guest **__(with the nice quote at the end), __**Dr. Bones206, SuperGirl06**__: I think you guys missed some points from chapters 10 and 11. Chloe made a choice and it's Beca, but Beca rejected her, remember? Beca asked Chloe to stay with Stan and by doing what Beca wants I think it's a sign that still Chloe chooses her._

_**itsamatterofperception: **__you're welcome :) nice songfic by the way :) and thanks for the promo as well :)_

_**ToTheYoungWhoWantToDie: **__I'm really sorry, but this is the last chapter. I'm really sad that I have to end the story now :(_

_**Daffusizers: **__You know, I really love reading your reviews. Thank you so much for sharing your insights. To tell you honestly, your insights and questions have been challenging me lately and it helped me a lot in writing the last chapters. So thank you :)_

_**InoSaku4ever:**__ I'm going to miss this story too :'(_

_**To everybody who hates Stan now:**__ I meant to create his character as lovable as possible, but I really hate him now too. LOL._

_**AUTHOR'S FAREWELL:**__ Now that this story is about to end, I just want to thank each and everyone of you. Like I said, this is my first ever fanfic and up to date I'm still overwhelmed by how successful it turned out. Thank you for joining me with this adventure :') __**Now what to expect with the last chapter?**__ I told you before that I didn't plan at the beginning how to end this story. It was only after I wrote Chapter 10 that I have envisioned this. I read your reviews and I can tell how much you've loved every chapter so I'm really pressured on what you're going to say about this last one. I hope I did a great job because this feels like a make or break for me. All I can say is that there will be more songs than usual because this is Pitch Perfect after all and I suggest that you get your earphones ready especially during the last part ;) *Note: Song lyrics not enclosed by quotation marks mean it's a background music :))_

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: **Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now**

I make my way to the old and abandoned swimming pool where the riff-off competition usually takes place to meet up with Aubrey. Two days ago, she called me up and we had this little conversation.

_"How may I help you, Miss Posen?" I cheerfully answer the call._

_ I know she just rolled her eyes, "Meet me up."_

_ "Where? When? Why?"_

_ "Too many questions, Beca."_

_ "Maybe you would like to answer them, Aubrey."_

_ I hear her sigh, "Old swimming pool. 8pm, sharp. One more surprise."_

_ "What do you mean 'one more surprise'?"_

_ I notice the only question I haven't asked is 'how' aside from the 'who' which is pretty much obvious already._

_ "It's called a 'surprise' for a reason, idiot."_

_ "How is it a surprise?" There I asked it. "A hint, maybe?"_

_ "Well," her voice trails off. "You know I at least admitted that I'm going to miss you, dork. So how about you also admit that you had a great time in Barden?"_

_ Before I open my mouth to respond, she hurriedly adds, "I just thought I'd remind you of pretty much what you're going to miss about Barden."_

_ I let out a sigh then smile against the phone, "Okay. I'll be there."_

I take a quick look at my watch and it says _7:58_. I hope I'm not late for Aubrey's standard time. I move two to three more steps forward and I can already see Aubrey's back facing me. Wow, she's really this punctual. I quietly take a seat next to her at the edge of the pool, now my feet dangles along with hers.

"So," I start. "What are we going to do at _8pm_ _sharp_?"

She turns to look at me, her lips quiver so I know she's nervous about something.

"Are you okay?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," she answers a little too quickly and laughs in apprehension.

I sigh, "Okay, if you say so."

I hear her mumbling to herself as she looks around the vicinity as if anticipating for something or someone but I just couldn't make out the words so I'm not really sure.

"Are we waiting for Jesse?" I ask her.

"No."

"Are you going to throw me some sort of a sendoff party?"

"Not exactly."

Hmm. _Not exactly_. Interesting.

She abruptly turns to me and hands me this tiny envelope, "Here."

Curiously, I hold on to it, trying to inspect the white material.

"Look, I'm not going to apologize for what is about to happen," she looks at me intently. "I just can't let you leave without _closure_, so I say to you as a friend, please just try and enjoy the night, Beca."

What the hell is 'about to happen'? I feel my heartbeat going faster as I am about to open the envelope and pull the card out to read whatever is in there but she stops me immediately.

"Don't open it yet. We still have to wait for her."

_Her_? Who's her? Fat Amy? Stacie? Cynthia Rose? Who? I flash this puzzled look on my face until my mind finally connects the dots. My eyes grow wide and my jaw drops. Damn it. It's Chloe! It has to be Chloe! I should have asked the 'who' during the phone conversation. I should have known.

"Aubrey!" I shoot her this 'how could you do this!' look with the combination of a look saying 'you know you shouldn't have!'

"Aubrey," suddenly I hear Chloe's voice and I just stop breathing.

The woman of attention stands straight up to meet her best friend, but I don't move. I don't even turn around to face her.

"Where are the others?" I hear Chloe ask, the confusion evident to her statement. "I thought it's an emergency Bella meeting."

"Well," Aubrey trails off again. "Let's just say the others couldn't make it… and I'm about to go see Jesse. Change of plans, Chloe. You're staying here with Beca so… bye."

I can hear the sound of Aubrey's heels clacking against the floor as she hurries to leave the two of us. As the sound of it turns down, it means I am more and more alone with Chloe. I let out a deep sigh and I remember I have been holding my breath for such a long time.

"I'm sorry," I hear Chloe say. "I had no idea Aubrey would do this."

"It's okay," I assure her but still couldn't find the courage to turn around and face her. "I didn't know either."

"Look, I'll just go. Good night."

"Wait!" I stand up immediately.

Fuck. Why did I do that? I should have just nodded my head and let her go! You let her go already, Beca. What are you doing now? I sigh once again. I realize, for all the days that past since we both confessed our feelings, I've been the one who's been walking away from Chloe that I guess the thought of her walking away from me is just more excruciating now than ever.

She is standing right there across me, waiting for me to speak up but I could only stare at her face. How can she be perpetually beautiful? I take a deep breath and swallow the lump in my throat as I let my eyes fall on the floor.

"Aubrey said we should just enjoy the night," I mutter.

She gives me a baffled look, "Just the two of us?"

I shrug and hands the tiny white envelope to her. I let her open it and pull the card out.

"_Dear Beca and Chloe," _Chloe starts to read the card. "_If you're reading this right now then it means you two are ready to let each other go."_

What the fuck is this?

_ "If not… screw you both."_

Chloe giggles while I roll my eyes.

She continues, "_Both of you, together, are going to have a little adventure tonight. I'll escort you down the memory lane through these tiny envelopes. Don't be such a poop, okay? Whether you admit it or not, both of you are a mess right now. And because I love you, I'm going to make you feel the magic you used to share all over again. First stop: Campus Grounds."_

Chloe looks down at me, her eyes directing this question whether or not we should play Aubrey's game. For a moment, I search in my brain for any reason and consequences that I could weigh in before I make a decision. But tonight, I can only think of this girl standing in front of me. It's like the rest of the world disappeared before my very eyes. All that's left to consider is Chloe Beale.

So I decide, "I could use some adventure tonight… with you… one last time."

Her lips slowly curve into a weak smile then she offers a hand to me. I look at it briefly and give my mind another try to search for some reason – any reason - to stop this now, but all I could think of is how fulfilling it is to be with Chloe tonight. So I take her hand and side by side, we make our way to the campus grounds.

* * *

Chloe casually looks around the deserted campus grounds, "So what exactly are we looking for?"

"I don't know," I shake my head.

"Look over there," she starts to walk, dragging me with her as our hands are still clasped together.

As we approach, I see a table covered in blue with white banners displaying a cursive "B" all over it set up under a tree. Oh I know what this is. It's exactly the way the Barden Bellas' booth looked like during the Activities Fair. Along with the flyers on the table is a tiny envelope just like the one Aubrey gave me earlier.

"I think this is it," I throw her a quick glance.

She picks up the envelope and hands it to me, "I think we should take turns reading."

"Okay," I pull out the card without letting go of her hand and start to read. "_Remember the first time you met? It was during the Activities Fair. Chloe was trying to make good things happen out of the worst day ever while Beca was being such a bitch as usual."_

Yeah, Aubrey, I thought you were such a bitch for a very long time as well.

I hear Chloe giggle as she shakes her head, "Don't worry. I didn't think you were a bitch back then."

"So what did you think of me?"

Suddenly, I'm curious.

"Seriously?"

I give her a nod.

"Well," she bites her lower lip. "Aubrey and I were having a really difficult time recruiting new members. We were _really_ desperate. She thought you were 'too alternative' to be one of us but even then, I had faith in you. I saw you and I saw a potential Bella in there."

"That's it?"

"Let's not forget it's the same moment I fell in love with you," she focuses her eyes on me.

And we simply stare at each other.

"Why?" I ask her quietly. "What did you see in me?"

"I told you, all it took was one look. One look and I felt like I've known you all my life, but I'm seeing you for the first time ever and that's even more… electrifying. It's like, I knew you were coming and I had anticipated that moment. So when finally that moment arrived, I just didn't want to let go of you anymore."

I notice myself smiling and blushing. Come on, how can you not get all the tingling feeling with that?

I see her smirk and I have to mentally slap myself as she speaks, "You're blushing."

"I am not," I mentally curse the redness on my cheeks only to feel the undesired pigment growing.

"Whatever you say, Beca," she rolls her eyes as she laughs at me.

"Moving on," I shoot a quick glare at her. "Let's see where our next stop is."

"Wait. I need to know your first impression on me as well."

"Fine," I sigh and she's all ears on me. "Um, when I first met you… I thought you were… you know, a _little_ talkative, chatty, like that."

"A little?"

"Okay, maybe too much."

"Really?" she glares at me, letting go of my hand, and her interrogative intonations going down instead of going up. "That's all the impression I made to you?"

I shrug and stammer at the same time, "Y-You were vomiting words. I-I said, like, one short sentence then you gave me a lecture. I wasn't even listening anymore."

Wrong words, Beca!

"But you want to know the real reason behind that?" I try to salvage myself.

She has her arms crossed over her chest already and her head nods at me challengingly and I can totally hear the non-existing scream of 'Do I really want to know?'

"As much as I didn't want to admit to myself, I was already drawn to your ginger hair and your hypnotizing bright blue eyes… I should have known when I felt that way, there's no more turning back."

Finally, she lets those hands down and smiles at me.

I read the remaining instruction on Aubrey's card, "_Proceed to the shower. You know exactly which shower."_

I slide the card back into the envelope and put it into my pocket. I take a deep breath then hold up my hand to her.

"Come on. Let's reminisce the time you _invaded_ my shower."

She chuckles then moves to intertwine her hand with mine.

* * *

When we reach the location, a notice is posted on the bathroom door saying it's closed for the night and it even has the approval stamp of the proper authorities. I wonder how Aubrey did this. On top of the notice is another tiny envelope.

I pull out the card and give it to Chloe, "Your turn, Red."

I miss calling her by that nickname. I can tell she does too.

"_Do I need to elaborate more on this?" _she reads and we both stiff a laugh._ "You two were singing naked in the shower, for Christ's sake!"_

"I don't think Aubrey wants us to redo the entire scenario here, right?" I look over at Chloe. "But if you ask me, this is my favorite part of all."

She has this mischievous smile on her face and in a singsong voice she says, "This is the part where I saw you naked."

I roll my eyes.

"What?" she innocently asks.

"This," I push the door open to enter and drag her with me, "is the part where after which you never managed to leave my mind anymore."

"Really?"

I step into the same cubicle where it all started for me. I make Chloe stand up at the same spot where I've memorized she was then I stand under the showerhead facing her. Now it feels like that same day, only with full clothes on.

"How can you forget someone who barges into your shower and forces you to sing while you were both _extremely _naked?"

"I get it already!" she exclaims and I laugh at her.

"I didn't know it back then, but I guess this is where I started falling in love with you… in the most _inconvenient_ position in my whole life… but you know what they say, love comes when you least expect it."

She shakes her head in amusement, "I guess this is my favorite part now too."

"_I'm bulletproof nothing to lose,_" I start to sing trying to relive the best part of the memory, and I'm glad Chloe sings with me again just like the way we did before.

_"Fire away, fire away  
__Ricochet, you take your aim  
__Fire away, fire away  
__Shoot me down but I won't fall  
__I am titanium  
__Shoot me down but I won't fall  
__I am titanium."_

This time, she doesn't wear that same cheeky grin. I can tell the butterflies are also fluttering in her stomach as we both lean in. I look deep into her eyes and I must finally admit that I had good times here at Barden, and the best of them were spent with Chloe. I look into her eyes and I finally get what this whole little adventure is all about. Right here at the same cubicle, I feel the same magical connection with Chloe all over again.

"I might kiss you," I whisper to her.

She whispers back, "I know."

Just a few inches away, almost there, but we both stop. I watch her eyes fall from mine down to the floor then her entire body moves back from me.

She holds up the card and casually reads, _"Now get your butts to the amphitheater."_

So we both walk out the shower, trying to forget what was about to happen back there. This time, we don't walk hand in hand. She leads the way and I simply follow behind her.

* * *

We finish our little game of 'follow the leader' as we stop at the stage to find the tiny envelope. I waste no time in picking it up and pulling the card out.

_"Aca-Initiation Night," _my voice turns into a low murmur as I continue reading,_ "Neither of you told me this story but I saw you two almost kiss that night! At this point, someone might want to ask some questions."_

Way to go, Aubrey. Of course, this is what you write on the next card right after another almost kiss incident and with pending questions burning in our chests. Thank you so much, Aubrey.

"Do you still want to continue with this?" Chloe shoots the first question. "Because, you know, we can just bail out now."

I shake my head firmly, "I'm still in. The card says it. This is a process of _us _letting each other go."

She simply nods her head.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I question. "Why didn't you just tell me that night that you're my brother's girlfriend?"

"When your brother found out you're coming to Barden, he made me promise that I'd let him tell you about us."

"But if you did, it could have saved us from all these."

"The plan was to wait until Stan was ready to introduce us to each other. You know what?" she turns to look at me. "The problem here is not that you didn't know. For the record, I didn't know you're a Mitchell until you told me so. The thing is we met each other before he was ready. We already started feeling things before we found out that it's going to be a really complicated situation for all of us."

I realize she's right.

"You could have told Stan about your feelings for me," I make the last argument.

She shakes her head, "I thought you don't feel the same so I figured he didn't need to know anymore. Besides, I stayed with him anyway, right? Because after all, I still love him too."

Of course, she still loves him. Just because she said she wanted to be with me but then I asked her to stay with him doesn't mean she doesn't love him anymore. I knew that.

I read the card again, _"Go back to the Campus Grounds."_

* * *

The Bella table is now gone. Instead, what we find in the campus grounds is a booth tent with a cotton candy machine. We get what this is already, but neither of us talks about it. Not so far from the cotton candy booth is a portable picnic table with big candles on the middle, two plates of spaghetti and meatballs, two cans of _Diet Coke_, two single-stemmed red roses and of course, the tiny envelope.

"_This is where all the conflict began," _Chloe reads the card aloud. "_But I know you haven't eaten dinner yet so maybe you can talk things through while eating. Enjoy Chloe's usual order at the diner."_

I don't feel hungry, and I'm sure she doesn't too but we both take our seats anyway, across to each other.

"Why didn't you tell me?" this time, Chloe asks. "Why didn't you tell me you're in love with me?"

"Stan beat me to it," I answer, looking at the red roses, reminiscing the way I felt during that time at Foundation Day. "Okay, I lied. When I came up to you with the rose, I was supposed to tell you then, but Stan beat me to it by saying you're his girlfriend."

"What about at the bowling alley?"

"Like you, I just didn't see the point anymore. Like you, I love my brother and I don't want to hurt him."

I hear her chuckle, "It's funny how we both have the same reasons to let go of each other and we would always be vocal about it, but we couldn't find the courage to speak of that single reason why we could have just stayed together."

I stare at her for a moment. I count the number of times we told each other 'I love you'. Only twice. First at the lake, the second one in the car; while every single day, we drag with us every reason why we can't be together; and bluntly, it's just Stan. But tonight when I agreed to do this, I decided to leave everything else behind to be with Chloe. It felt so good until those baggage came crawling back to us, and it's making all of these feel so wrong all over again. That's not what I want.

So I pick up one red rose and give it to her, "Here."

"What is this for?"

"This is what I should have done when I found you at the cotton candy booth," I smile at her. "Chloe Beale, I think I'm in love with you."

Her face instantly lights up and gives the other rose to me, "And I have always been in love with you, Beca Mitchell."

And that's it. I don't want to think about anything else but this. Chloe and me, just the two of us. This is our night and us being together is all that matters.

I climb off my seat and stand next to her, "Whatever I'm about to tell you, could you please just say yes?"

I'm glad she nods her head though the confusion is clear on her face.

"Chloe," I hold up my hand to her for the second time this evening with a wide grin planted all over my face. "Would you please be so selfish to forget everything else and just think about nothing but you and me? Just for tonight."

Without hesitation, she grabs my hand, stands up, and smiles back at me, "Yes, Beca. Just you and me. Tonight."

"So where should we go, Red?"

She reads the card once again, "_Now feel free to go to our dorm room."_

With that, we start walking under the moon and the stars. Our hands intertwined swing with every step we take. I throw her a quick glance and she looks just as happy and free as I am. We both hold on to each other. We both hold on to the red roses. We both hold on to each other's hearts, and quite frankly we don't care if it's only for tonight.

* * *

_"This is where the hidden truths were buried," _I read. _"I remember the look on Beca's face during that first Bella sleepover. She would crane her neck looking around the room for her dearest Chloe. Yes, Beca, it was that obvious."_

I see the confusion on Chloe's face so I explain that she wasn't there in the room when it happened.

_"I also remember that time she said 'I love you' to a sleeping and very sick Chloe. It was not meant for me to hear it, but I'm glad I did because even if I didn't see the look on Beca's face, the tone of her voice made me feel that this person could truly love my best friend more than anyone and anything in the world. I was just too damn stupid to admit that back then."_

"Aubrey knew all along?" Chloe asks me in shock, and I smile at her as I nod my head.

_"But I think the most remarkable memories in this dorm room are the ones with a very very drunk Chloe."_

I can't help but laugh after reading that last line. I look over at Chloe and she rolls her eyes clearly annoyed with it.

"If it makes you feel better," I shrug, "I love talking to a drunk Chloe."

"What?" she looks at me in disbelief but wears an amused smile on her lips.

And I'm blushing again, "You look so cute and funny and just really wonderful."

"Cute?" she teases me. "I didn't know you have that in your vocabulary, Beca."

"Whatever, Red."

"So how am I 'cute and funny and just really wonderful' when I'm drunk?"

"You know," I shrug again and let out a chuckle. "You get so giggly. Like everything around you is _so damn_ funny. Remember the night of the riff-off?"

She mutters, "We played _Power Hour_."

"And you were so drunk that night all you did was laugh," I start laughing myself. "I didn't know what was funny, but then I look at you and I get the punch line."

She playfully punches my shoulder, "Ha ha! Very funny."

"And this," I excitedly drag her with me as I sit on the couch. "This is your favorite place when you're drunk."

"The couch?"

"Normally, you would start sitting right here with your arms and legs sprawled on the couch until you've slid down and so you end up dozing on the floor."

"How do you even know I'm drunk?"

"That's easy. I know you're drunk when you start saying 'I'm not drunk' _or_ when you reason out that you only had 'too much to drink'."

Now she's laughing along with me. I look at her face and I figure this is such a perfect moment. It feels like we're so perfect for each other, like I was made for her and she was made for me.

"I remember you mentioning that you actually remembered the kiss," I fix my eyes on those blue orbs of hers.

She slowly nods her head, "Yes, but it was too painful I couldn't talk to you about it."

"Hey," I stop her immediately from her new course of thoughts. "We're not supposed to feel or think about the pain right now, remember? Just you and I being so freakingly selfish tonight."

She flashes a determined smile at me, "Let's do it again."

"What?"

"The kiss," she gives my hand a squeeze. "Let's make it a kiss to remember, not to forget."

Suddenly, I feel this urge to agree with her. This is what I've always wanted with that kiss anyway, to make it something to remember and not to forget.

"You were singing a song," she reminds me and so I start to sing.

_"Settle down with me  
__And I'll be your safety  
__You'll be my lady"_

I scooch closer to her, closing the small distance between us.

"_I was made to keep your body warm  
__But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms"_

I tuck the strands of red hair behind her ears and smile at her while she holds on to the hem of my jacket.

_"And my heart's against your chest, my lips pressed to your neck  
__I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
__And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now"_

Slowly, I lean in to her face and close my eyes.

"Kiss me," I hear her whisper.

I rest a hand on her neck and let my lips touch hers. I kiss her gently and it feels like fireworks all over again. Chloe kisses me back and the tingling feeling races from the back of my neck down to my spine. I search for her right hand with my left and intertwined them together. Slowly, I pull her down with me as I lie on my back and she takes my right hand pinning me down. I smile against her lips and I hear her soft chuckles. Oh god, we're making out.

"Are… we… bailing… out… now?" I ask her in between sweet kisses.

She stops and smirks down at me, "Is this memorable enough to you?"

"Totally," I blush and she laughs.

"Let's just say this is the part where I puke on you," she winks at me and I roll my eyes in delight.

Finally, she climbs off me and I frantically search for the fallen card on the floor. I turn it over to see our next destination.

"_Lake," _I read, and Chloe and I exchange looks.

* * *

We drove down the lake in Aubrey's car. The blonde girl packed a flashlight and a blanket for us so we set up the blanket near the edge of the dock where we find the tiny envelope with a stone as a paperweight.

_"This lake is a prime witness for most of your good times and bad times together," _Chloe read while I hold up the flashlight for her._ "I even let you use my car because I'm not going to let you skip this part. You better be at the lake right now."_

"Is this the last stop?" I ask her.

She turns the card around and reads, _"Last stop: Go back to the Old Pool."_

I switch off the flashlight and groans, "Why do we have to go back there?"

"You don't want to?"

"If you ask me, honestly, I would love to stay here forever with you."

"We can try."

I don't respond.

"I mean, for tonight, we can try. Just think about you and me, right?"

Still, I don't respond. I'm glad it's too dark for her to see the sadness on my face.

"Beca?"

I lie down on the blanket, "Lie down with me, please?"

I feel her body carefully settle down next to me and I automatically search for her hand and hold it tightly in mine.

"What's in your mind right now?" she asks me.

"You," I answer. "You and me."

She lets out a small laugh, "What about you and me?"

I take a deep breath as the pain burns in my chest again, "We're so _fucking_ perfect for each other."

This time, she doesn't respond.

"Fuck," I was doing fine, now I'm letting a tear slip off from my eyes.

She gives my hand a squeeze, "What do you want, Beca?"

I want you, Chloe, but I can't have you.

Suddenly, she starts singing.

_"You only know what I want you to  
__I know everything you don't want me to"_

I give her hand a squeeze and she hold on to mine even more as if anticipating what I'm about to do.

"_Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine  
__You think your dreams are the same as mine"_

She pulls my hand to her chest, holding on to it tighter than the last, and I feel the pain stings more and more through my chest.

_"Oh I don't love you but I always will  
__Oh I don't love you but I always will  
__Oh I don't love you but I always will  
__I al-"_

I don't let her finish the line. I don't want to hear the rest of the song. I don't want to hear the end of it. I let go of her hand, stand up, and walk back to the car. I come back later on with the two red roses and the other tiny envelopes.

_I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back_

"What are you doing?" she inquires.

I look at her intently, "This is supposed to be a process of letting go, not holding on."

_The less I give the more I get back_

"So what are we going to do?" she hugs herself, bracing for the worst.

"Give me the card," I order and she hands it over to me.

_Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise_

I carelessly throw them away into the water.

"Hey!" Chloe yells but I ignore her. All the souvenirs we have from tonight is already gone.

_I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you_

I grab the blanket and starts to walk away, "Come on, one more stop and this is over."

* * *

I pull the car over and we quietly make our way to the abandoned pool. Right where Aubrey and I sat down earlier is the last tiny envelope.

I take out the card and start reading, _"This is the part where you two have to say goodbye."_

And I'm right. This night is too good to be true. Why do we have to go back here? To remind us that we have to go back to reality and that is to finally let each other go. But maybe Aubrey's right. We needed this. We needed to feel it all over again until we get used to the feeling already, then it becomes too normal and ordinary, it would be a lot easier to let go and get it over with.

Chloe bravely nods her head, "This is it."

"This is it," I repeat half-heartedly.

"Time to say goodbye."

"Time to say goodbye."

She pauses for a few seconds, looking at her feet as if collecting enough courage, then looks straight into my eyes, "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," I mutter back.

I hand her over the key to Aubrey's car. No more one last longing look to each other. We simply turn to the opposite directions and then walk away. I'm never going to see Chloe Beale ever again.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay with the idea that I will be staying over at your father's house tonight?"

My mom gives me this cautious look as she bounces up and down my bed.

"Dad and I have talked about this already," I pause from packing some of my stuff up to shoot her a smile then crosses my arms on my chest. "And, mom, could you _please_ get off my bed?"

She stands up but runs her hands over the mattress one more time, "You have a really nice bed right here."

I shake my head at my mother's silliness as I go back with packing.

"And did I really hear you right? You called him 'dad'?" she raises an eyebrow, and this time, she's the one with the crossed arms over her chest.

I shrug, "We've worked things through."

"Didn't I tell you that's exactly what's going to happen?"

"Whatever, mom."

"Come on, Beca, say it. Say I was right."

I roll my eyes, "Fine. You were right. You're always right, mom."

I hear her do the evil laugh, as usual during times like this, and then she starts to roam around the room.

"Is it just me or this guitar is definitely new?" she asks.

I turn to her and I see her already holding Chester in her hands, turning it over and to the side as she takes a quick look at it. I threw away every little thing that would remind me of Chloe, but this is the only piece remaining.

"Um," I focus my eyes on the pile of clothes scattered on the bed, then uncomfortably start to fold them. "Just a gift from a friend. Nothing really special."

"Chloe," I hear her say. Of course, she read the inscription on the back.

I sigh and walk towards my mother to take the guitar away from her, "Just hand it over, mom. I'll put it away now."

I look for its container in the closet and carefully slide the guitar inside. I can feel my mother's eyes glued on me, watching my every move and the expression on my face. I can ignore it the way I'm doing now, but I know she's not going to get me away with this one.

"You can put it away for as many times as you want but you know it will still be there, Beca."

"It's just a guitar," I tell her innocently.

"When it says 'You're my Wonderwall' I'm telling you it's not just a guitar, honey."

"It's just a guitar, mom."

"I know what it stands for, alright?'

"What for?"

I shouldn't have asked.

"You and Chloe," she points out. "Your feelings for her."

"Mom, it's over now."

"Because?"

"She's staying with Stan."

"So?"

"So we are all about to live happily ever after."

"Really, that's how you put an ending to the story?"

I let out a forced laugh, "What are you blabbering about anyway, mom?"

"I'll give you four more days to give you time to rethink about your plans about leaving and staying away."

"I don't need time to rethink about my plans, mom. I'll drop my subjects tomorrow and as soon as the dean gives me the signal, then we are good to go."

"Could we please stop pretending?"

"Pretending what?"

"That you don't want to stay."

"You don't know that."

"Well, what I _do_ know is that you're still _very_ much in love with this Chloe."

"Then you should also know that I _can't_ stay here anymore."

"You're such an idiot, Beca."

"Proven fact."

"Did she tell you to go?"

"No."

"Then hell you should stay."

I simply laugh at the idea, "Very funny, mom."

"Do you know why your father and I divorced?"

"He fell in love with another woman and took off?"

"It's because I stopped fighting for him!" she exclaims and that finally shuts me up. "He told me he was having an affair then I simply shut myself down. Phil wanted to save the marriage, to give it another try, but _I_ was the one who gave up. I stopped fighting for him, for the family, for the love, and that's when everything went falling apart."

I didn't know that part of the story.

"Well, if she doesn't tell you to go, maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you should stay and keep fighting for what's worth fighting for. I don't want you to give up, honey. I don't want you to just give up because when I did that I almost lost everything I had. Trust me, I know how it feels to lose the love of your life to someone else, and I don't want you to feel that unbearable pain with a mixture of regret."

I mutter, "But everybody's moved on and happy now with their own lives."

"I have learned to face and accept the truth," she smiles at me bitterly. "Have you?"

"Yes."

She shakes her head in disagreement, "If you have, then you shouldn't be so eager to leave for anywhere else but here. If you have, then it shouldn't be a problem to stay here at Barden with Stan and Chloe as close to you as possible. _I _can stay in the same house with my ex-husband and his new wife, and feel nothing but genuine contentment. No more anger, sadness, or remorse."

I frown because I know I can't do that. I don't know if I can ever do that. Even after the 'process of letting go' adventure that Chloe and I went through, I still can't do that. My mom spreads her arms wide and I move forward to be enveloped by her embrace.

"Just because my love story failed doesn't mean yours also have to, alright?"

I mumble to her, "Maybe we can just grow old together, mom, just you and me."

"Oh my baby," she places a kiss on top of my head. "I'm too old for that crap now."

And I chuckle, "I still love you though."

* * *

Before my dinner date with my family, I bring myself in front of Jesse's dorm room. I wonder how he would react when he sees me here. I just really hope that Aubrey's not inside with him because it would be really difficult to explain to the blonde my reason for stopping by.

He opens the door and smiles brightly when he sees me, "Hey, Beca."

"Hi," I awkwardly stand right there.

"Um," he closes the door behind him. Yeah, he shouldn't invite me in. Too risky when you're dating someone else. I'm pretty sure Aubrey's threat still stands in the line. "Anything I can do for you?"

I scratch my head, unsure of what to say.

"I just want to thank you… for the thing you did last time. I mean, I was expecting the Bellas, but thank you for including the Trebles too. I was really touched."

"You made an impression to them when you sang 'No Diggity' at the riff-off," he grins. "But really, it was all Aubrey's idea. She thinks you're too sneaky that you might just leave Barden without saying goodbye. So we tried to pull it off as soon as possible."

I nervously bite my lip, "Yeah… That's the thing. I need to ask you a favor."

"What favor?"

"My mom's already in town. I'm going to drop all my subjects tomorrow then we're both going back to Michigan. I won't have the time to go and see everyone for one last time."

"Tomorrow?" Jesse's eyes widen in surprise, and I nod my head as a confirmation. "Why all of a sudden? I thought you said you're going to finish the semester first? I-I mean, this is not what we're expecting… W-We are not ready for this, Beca."

"I'm not asking you to be ready. I'm here to ask you to tell the news to Aubrey and everyone else. And please do so when I'm already gone."

"Why?"

"Because I can't," I tell him the truth.

"Then why does it have to be me?"

I sigh then smile at him, "I guess it's because you're the only one I can think of who would let me go."

He stops.

"You let me walk away from you once, Jesse. I'm sure you can do it again… especially now that you have everything you have ever asked for."

"You do realize that Aubrey would totally freak out when she finds out, right?"

"Make sure you are there to give her a kiss," I wink at him. "That would really shut her up, you know."

Jesse chuckles until his face becomes serious again, "So this is the part where we have to exchange goodbyes now?"

"I don't know, Jesse," I shrug, a smirk planted on my lips. "I mean, you're the movie geek between the two of us. Why don't you tell me?"

I hear him sigh before giving me this one last look followed by a long hug, "Goodbye, Beca."

"Goodbye, Jesse," I shoot him one last smile. "I'm telling you, don't you ever hurt _the _Aubrey Posen. She's going to bury you alive. That's Dixie Chicks serious, man."

He laughs, "I'll keep that in mind."

I turn to the side and start to walk away until I remember the other reason why I came here to Jesse's dormitory. Halfway through the hall, I stop and turn around to face Jesse. He has this baffled and questioning look on his face, and I watch his jaw fall on the ground as I softly sing.

_"Won't you come see about me?  
__I'll be alone dancing, you know it baby."_

He finally manages to put on a smile, "You didn't."

I shrug my shoulders, purses my lips, and in a slow pace, I continue to sing the song.

_ "Tell me your troubles and doubts  
__Giving me everything inside and out.  
__Don't you forget about me.  
__As you walk on by, would you call my name?"_

He nods his head.

_"As you walk on by, would you call my name?  
__As you walk on by, would you call my name?"_

Suddenly, I stop myself. Then in a faint whisper, I tell him the most important line of the song.

_"Don't you forget about me."_

He shakes his head, "We won't."

"It's a pretty lame movie, by the way."

Jesse's mouth forms a big 'O'.

"Just kidding," I chuckle. "I _legitimately_ cried in the end."

I give the guy one last smile suited for a goodbye, and then turn my heel around to proceed with my delayed exit.

"I told you," he calls out. "Endings are the best part, Beca."

Yeah, if only my life is a movie. But it's not.

* * *

The next morning, I sit next to Stan at the kitchen island after breakfast while we wait for mom and Sheila to finish preparing the fruit platter. I entertain myself by playfully tracing the scratches and stitches on my brother's face, ignoring those glares he's directing at me.

"Would you stop that?"

"What?"

"That's really disgusting, kiddo. And it hurts, you know."

I laugh at him but I don't stop playing with my brother's wounds.

"Come on, this is the last time I get to do this. I'm leaving later."

"What do you mean 'later'?" he shoots me a WTF look. "Mom just got here."

My mom decides to butt in, "She wants to leave for Detroit as soon as 'later'."

"But I thought you'll stay until the term ends."

"Change of plans," I jump off my seat and grab my backpack because this is turning into a conversation that I just want to avoid. "I'm dropping my subjects today."

"You're dropping your subjects today?" and Sheila joins the conversation circle as well.

"And I'm tasked to get her things out of the dorm," my mom chimes in again.

"But Beca," Stan protests.

I grab an apple and prepare to head out. "I'm heading to Barden now, Stan. If I finish dropping my subjects faster than I thought, maybe we can still hang out before we leave."

"Chloe will be dropping by this morning," he hurries to tell me. "Have you told her?"

"I was hoping you would when I'm already on the plane."

I flash him my trademark smirk and turns towards the door.

"Hey," he calls out one more time. "You can go to Barden with her."

I shake my head then hold on to the door knob, "I need to stop by somewhere first."

"You better answer your damn phone, Beca, when I call you," I hear my mom's motherly voice and so I roll my eyes.

"I will, mom. Bye."

"You have your umbrella, Beca? The forecast says it's going to rain today."

And Sheila's voice is the last thing I hear before I hurriedly shut the door behind me.

* * *

I carelessly drop my backpack on the grass under the old oak tree, and then make my way towards the dock. I walk as slowly as possible, memorizing every step and every little detail of the surrounding. This is the last time that I get to be here at the lake. In a few hours, I'm going to be on a plane back to Michigan, leaving everything behind at once.

I wonder how it would feel like when I step into the Barden campus one last time. I wonder if I'm going to see Aubrey or any of the Bellas when I make my way to the Office of the Registrar to drop my subjects. I hope not because it's going to be really difficult to act like it's just another day around them. I wonder how Kimmy Jin would react when she sees my mom moving my things out and tells her that I'm leaving. Would my soon-to-be-former-roommate freak out? Would she lend a hand to my mom?

Suddenly, my phone starts ringing and I look at the screen displaying my brother's goofy face. I figure I don't want to hear him out right now. This moment is just between me and this peaceful lake, so I tap on the 'decline' button. Before I could put the phone back into my pocket, it starts ringing again so I annoyingly reject his call once more and shove the phone into my pocket. I hope it doesn't start ringing again or else, I swear I'm going to throw it to the lake.

I take a deep breath and carry on with this contemplation I'm doing. I stop by the edge of the dock and just simply look around. I look at the blue water and the tall trees while I listen to the birds chirping and the leaves rustling. I'm going to miss all this, but I have to go.

"Beca!" I hear someone call out my name and so I turn around.

Chloe is standing by the old oak tree looking so furious at me. She suddenly storms off towards me.

"Chloe?" I give her a confused look. "What are you doing here?"

She punches my shoulder and I wince in pain, "Ouch!"

"How could you!" she screams at me. She looks really angry and I don't even know why. "You're going to drop your subjects _today_?"

I nervously nod my head.

"And you're just going to leave the state without even telling me your stupid 'change of plans'?"

Here we go again with the dropping intonation.

"I-I will tell you," I stutter.

"When you're gone," she points out.

I sigh, "What are you doing here anyway? You're not supposed to be here."

"Really, Beca?" she puts a hand on her hip frustratingly. "After everything we've been through together, that's what you're going to say?"

I shrug. What should I say?

"Could we please stop being such a pair of idiots once and for all?" she hisses at me.

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

But I really don't.

"Did I do something?" I hesitantly ask.

She scoffs at me, "I went looking for you everywhere."

"Why are you looking for me?"

"Because I need to stop you from dropping your subjects," she frantically answers. "I need to stop you from leaving. I need to tell you that I want you to stay."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you!" she exclaims, but suddenly stops herself, catching her breath. Then in a calmer voice she tells me, "I keep telling you that but you keep walking away."

I am taken aback by her words. I just couldn't move or say anything.

"You said you want me to stay with Stan and I did! You said you can't be with me and I stayed away! You tell me everything you want, and I try to do all of them even if it hurts me so bad. Did you ever ask me what I want?"

She's crying now, and I hate to see her like this especially that I know I'm doing this to her.

"What do you want?" because I want to know that too.

She looks into my eyes and pleads, "I want you, Beca."

I've never seen Chloe this desperate to be with me.

"I know what it feels like to lose Stan, okay? I was there when he died for 5 seconds. I thought he's no longer coming back, but I just knew I'm going to be okay without him. But with you, Beca… when I found out you're going to another state, god I don't know if I can handle that."

Really? It's still in America.

"If this still doesn't make any sense to you, then I'm telling you right now this means I am so in love with you, Beca."

I am too shocked right now to respond.

"Well, if you don't want to be with me, then it's fine. But _please_ don't ask me to love somebody else… because whether you like it or not, I will always be in love with nobody else but you."

I feel the weight on me and it's putting so much pressure on my head.

"_Double, double, toil and trouble  
__Fire burn and cauldron bubble  
__Double, double, toil and trouble  
__Something wicked this way comes."_

My phone starts to ring and I see Chloe giving me this odd look. That's the default ringtone I have for my mom. I promised I would answer her call. This is about her moving out my things. Fuck. I have to take this.

"It's my mom. She loves Harry Potter," I explain the ringtone to the redhead. I pull out the phone from my pocket and answer the damn phone. "Mom, what the hell do you need?"

I hear Stan's voice from the end of the line, "And she finally answers."

"Stan?"

"Chloe broke up with me," I hear him say. "She told me she's not happy anymore, and I realize right then that neither do I."

I look over at Chloe and she's simply standing there wiping her tears off.

"I shouldn't have been too selfish to keep you two away from each other," my brother continues. "I mean, who are we kidding? She's not meant to be with me. And I'm sorry that we all have to go through these. But the ball is now in your hands, kiddo. Make the right choice, will ya?"

I hear myself respond, "I will."

And then my brother hangs up the phone. I swallow hard as I throw my phone into the water. I told you, one more ring and I'll throw it away especially now that I don't need another disruption.

_When you smile, everything's in place  
__I've waited so long, can make no mistake_

I look at Chloe and she looks back at me. We don't say anything for what feels like forever. We stay like that because she expects me to say something but I just don't know where to start.

_All I am reaching out to you  
__I can't be scared, got to make a move_

I see her shake her head disappointingly at me and starts to head back. She made her final choice, and she chose me. But I'm not being brave enough to take my chance again. She's almost at the other end of the dock now. That's when it hit me. Oh no, she's walking away. Stop her, Beca. Stop her!

_While we're young, come away with me  
__Keep me close and don't let go_

"I'm staying!" I call out, and she stops. She turns back to me abruptly; a surprised look painted on her face then it slowly turns into a blissful smile. I couldn't help but smile back at her.

_Inch by inch, we're moving closer  
__Feels like a fairytale ending_

I start to walk towards her because I would be really damned if I don't.

_Take my heart, this is the moment  
__I'm moving closer to you_

I rest my hand on her cheek and simply adore her beauty. God, I want her too so badly.

_I'm moving closer to you_

I lean in, "This is the part where we kiss."

She chuckles and slowly leans in. My lips are just inches away from hers again when suddenly, as Sheila mentioned, it starts to rain on us. Oh come on, universe, could you just give up already? Nothing's gonna stop me and Chloe now. Not even this rain.

_Who'd have thought that I'd breathe the air  
__Spinning 'round your atmosphere_

"It's raining," Chloe pulls me with her to run for cover.

But I pull her back and shake my head, "I'm not going to let this stupid rain ruin another kiss."

_I'll hold my breath, falling into you  
__Break my fall and don't let go_

She stares at me for a moment, "But, Beca-"

She tries to protest but I immediately move closer to her, hold her head in place and seal this love story with a kiss under the rain. I kiss her and she's kissing me back. Finally, our very own happy ending.

_Inch by inch, we're moving closer  
__Feels like a fairytale ending  
__Take my heart, this is the moment  
__I'm moving closer to you_

**the end**

* * *

_**Song Titles: **__(Chapter Title) Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now – Starship/MYMP (2) Titanium – Anna Kendrick ft. Brittany Snow movie version (3) Kiss Me – Ed Sheeran (4) Poison & Wine – The Civil Wars (5) Don't You Forget About Me – Anna Kendrick movie version (ringtone) Double Trouble from Harry Potter film (7) Moving Closer – Never The Strangers *I intended to use an OPM song for the ending :)_

_Now I can finally scream out I'M FREE! Hahaha! It was really hard thinking and feeling like Beca. It was pretty depressing, but I had a lot of fun. Thanks again, people :)_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.

_PS. I might be gone for a while. I'm a senior college student and my classes are already killing me. But I have, like, so many ideas for a new story (from action to fantasy) so there's a good chance that I'm coming back :) I'd rather put writing on hold rather than keep you waiting for forever for updates. So I guess this is goodbye… __**for now :)**_


	14. Epilogue

_A lot of people have been asking me to write an epilogue to the story. I surely thought I can just leave everything at Chapter 13, but well, I missed writing this series. So... this is it... It's not as good as the regular chapters though... (I'm really experiencing a writer's block right now and it sucks! Plus, I only had an hour to finish this so...) I'm sorry in advance :( But I skipped my scheduled update on my **new series, Stolen** (make sure to check it out if you haven't) to do this. I wish you get to enjoy this though :)_

* * *

"_But you know, the thing about romance is...people only get together right at the very end." -Sam, Love Actually (2003)_

**Epilogue**

I give my full attention to Beca's mom as she shows me how to do her very own recipe of chicken quesadilla, Beca's favorite. I watch her layer half of each tortilla with the chicken and vegetable mixture, sprinkle cheddar, bacon bits, and Monterey Jack all over, then fold the tortillas in half and place it on a baking sheet. I try to follow afterwards.

"It doesn't necessarily need to be chicken," she instructs me. "Beca will eat anything, trust me. She's just after the melted cheese anyway."

I chuckle at her remark. Of course, Beca will eat this quesadilla, and she better likes it because I even had to convince her mom to include this to the menu for tonight just so she could teach me the recipe.

"She's crazy over your quesadilla, Ronie," I tell her the truth.

I feel her fix an eye on me and smile. "And you're crazy over my daughter, aren't you?"

I think I start to blush as I look away from her gaze because she starts laughing at me. Yes, I'm head over heels in love with Beca Mitchell, and I'd admit that any day, but it just feels so different when you have her mother pointing that out to me.

"One look and she just took my breath away," I hear myself reply as I flash a shy smile along with more red pigment growing on my cheeks. I wonder if they resemble my hair color now.

"To be honest, I used to persuade myself to hate you," she speaks out the unfamiliar statement from out of the blue, and I suddenly frown. "Both of my children were hurting because of you. In fact, they'd rather _die_ than lose you. That's how important you are, Chloe."

Of course, I _almost_ ruined that beautiful sibling relationship between Beca and Stan. It was a big drama that we all got caught up into, and for certain, we will always remember that part of history. But I'd love to keep those difficult times in the past now and just really want to look forward to today and a future with Beca.

"But I couldn't hate you," Ronie shoots a reassuring smile at me, drowning every bit of indignity I have for myself in the process. "I look at you now and I see why Beca would call me randomly late at night from Atlanta just to say that she would never want to let you go."

I let out a sigh of relief before smiling back at her. Oh Beca and her hidden romantic side.

"I wouldn't want to let her go either."

Our main topic suddenly enters the kitchen with a clearly annoyed look on her face. She leans on the kitchen island table, her small height becoming more evident, and impatiently taps her fingers on the surface as she looks up to her mother.

"Are you two already done with that?" she inquires.

"Almost," Ronie gives her a look then takes the tray of quesadilla away and puts it into the oven.

"There it goes!" the younger brunette excitedly smacks her hands into the kitchen island table before walking over to me. Then, she hastily grabs my hand and pulls me away out of the kitchen. "Now I'd love to spend some time with my girlfriend."

Left with no other choice, her mom simply calls out, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?"

"Okay, mom," Beca replies absentmindedly and I have to chuckle at my girlfriend's childlike behavior as we make our way to the living room and finally settle down on the couch.

"Now what?" I turn to look at her and find that she's just staring and smiling at me at the same time. So as gentle as possible I push her forehead to wake her up from her daydream. "Hey!"

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to enjoy this alone time with you by staring at your beautiful face."

I can't help but laugh at that goofy expression on display.

"You are such a cheeseball, Beca Mitchell."

"Kiss me," she orders as she turns her body fully towards me.

"What?" I gasp. "No."

"Come on. Kiss me, Red."

I softly hold her shoulder away as she starts to lean in.

"Your _mom_ is right in the next room, dork."

"Just one kiss," she pleads and it's already making it difficult for me to resist her charm. "The others will be here soon, and I don't know if I could ever find another alone time with you during this entire trip."

It's the last summer vacation before Aubrey goes to law school and me to medical school, so we all decided to spend the entire vacation together. First stop is Detroit, Michigan with Ronie to tour us around. Hence, Aubrey and Jesse along with Stan and his new girlfriend who we haven't met yet will be staying over with us in the house for the next few days to come as planned. After that, we are all going to Rome for Phil and Sheila's wedding anniversary celebration.

I let out a sigh then point a finger at her as a warning and shift my body so I'm facing her fully as well. "Just one kiss," I tell her although I am pretty sure she wants more than just a kiss.

"Alright," one side of her lips goes upward forming her trademark smirk. And so I wrap my arms around her neck to secure my target into place as she slowly leans in towards my face.

_Ding Dong._

Beca and I stop. We definitely heard something, but then we're not going to let whatever that is to ruin this moment, so we silently make a mutual agreement to ignore the sudden interruption. I keep my hold on to her neck as she keeps her hands on my waist.

_Ding Dong._

And we both stop again. This time, we acknowledge the chiming sound of the doorbell for real.

"Beca, the door!" Ronie calls out from the kitchen causing my poor Beca to roll her eyes in annoyance and disappointment.

"I'm on it, mom."

I bite my lip and give her this sympathetic look.

"We'll find some time, baby. Don't worry."

She sighs, gives me a quick ghostly kiss on the lips, and heads towards the door and not-so-cheerfully welcomes everybody in. All four make their way into the house with all their luggage and so I hurry up to help Aubrey and the other blonde girl who I assume is Stan's new girlfriend with their bags.

"Kiddo!"

I hear my ex-boyfriend cheerfully greets my typically cranky girlfriend and when I direct my eyes to the duo, some brutal headlocks and playful messing up with hairs quickly follow up. I let myself grin and feel happy about the sight of it. After everything that happened, I seriously thought that such moment would never happen again.

Then for some reason, without warning, while he has his sister's neck in between her upper and lower arm, Stan inadvertently shifts his eyes to meet mine. We pause for a short while as we find ourselves confined within a cloud where there is only me and him in existence. At first, I mentally scold myself that this shouldn't be happening anymore, but then I realize that it's something normal, I guess. After all, we shared some kind of a romantic love story in the past and it will always be there. I let my eyes stay with him for a few more seconds and I just know that he shares the same thoughts exactly. But then we start to exchange genuine and gratified smiles as, we could say, a vibrant indication that we are both happy and free now with our respective loves.

* * *

The scenario after dinner was 'all against Beca' – while everybody, including myself, agrees to watch some movies before going to bed, Beca was… well, she just reluctantly accepted her defeat. Really, there is nothing bad about watching _Rush Hour _movies. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker make a hilarious combination. However, my silly little girlfriend has maintained that scowl on her face as she rests her head on my shoulder the entire time. She hasn't changed her perspective on movies yet, unfortunately, except that she has learned to tolerate a bit already. Now the only thing actually keeping her in the living room with the rest of us is the taste and smell of cheese-flavored popcorn floating in the room that when I find the huge bowl we have for the two of us alone finally empty, I oblige myself to stand up and go to the kitchen for some more popcorn.

Nevertheless, I find myself staring at the tree house at the backyard through the darkness of the night. It's been three days since Beca and I arrived here in Detroit, and she never made the move to talk about this structure to me. Really, there's nothing wrong about that, but I couldn't help but feel curious about this tree house. It looks pretty old but intently preserved. I wonder if this is where Beca spent most of her childhood years. Especially with just the sliding door separating the backyard from the kitchen, I can't help but feel tempted to go climb up this tree house.

"You okay?"

Startled, I immediately turn around to find Stan standing right by the refrigerator. I guess my thoughts were too immersed at the significance of the tree house, I didn't hear him enter the kitchen.

"Yeah," I nod my head and force a smile. "I'm okay."

He shrugs his shoulders as he opens the refrigerator to retrieve a handful more soda cans for everybody. I try to help him with them, taking some into my own hands. But instead of proceeding back to the living room, he places his load on top of the kitchen island table, and so that's what I follow to do. Then surprisingly, as I have never expected it, Stan smiles at my way and I see that same soft glint on his eyes.

"I missed you," he quietly admits, careful enough not to give away unnecessary emotions.

I am not able to respond right away as I catch myself off guard. I realize this is the first time I'm left alone with him again since that day on the lake where I made my final choice – and it was Beca that I chose, not Stan. I instantly remind myself about that.

"I'm so sorry."

There, I find myself still stuck with this one single line I have mastered to speak of exclusively for him.

"It's all in the past now," is all he says.

There is no further mention on what he essentially feels or even the reference at least on his new girlfriend whose name is Tamara 'or Tam for short'. But I remain quiet and avoid his eyes. I wouldn't dare to gaze on them in the middle of this mood especially without the presence of my girlfriend by my side. Shit. Beca. The popcorn.

"That's Beca's hideout," Stan tells me, briefly pointing at the tree house in the backyard before collecting the drinks with his arms. "Just in case you're wondering… She doesn't let anybody up there but I'm sure you're an exception."

I turn to him to flash this hesitant look only to receive a small nod from my ex-boyfriend signaling that I should go up there. I debate myself whether or not to execute the idea as I watch Stan disappear into the living room. Then after some time, I finally let out a heavy sigh because curiosity has beaten me out of it. I know Beca never told me to, but I find myself dragging my feet towards the backyard, pushing the sliding door open, then holding on to the wooden stairs as I climb up the old tree house.

I push the floor door open and I am immediately met by complete darkness that surrounds the interior of the tree house. But I decide to climb up further anyway. There's no more turning back. Luckily, my face comes in contact with a thin chain hanging just on top of my head which I figure to be a switch to some lighting device, so I gently pull it down. A light bulb instantly decorates the interior with a slightly yellowish glow.

I let my eyes roam around as I take some steps away from my original position. I see an enormous collection of record albums neatly stacked on one corner, a shelf of comic books, a plastic box of trading cards, and another box of what I recognize as _Game Paks._ But what really catches my eye is the sight of a group of tiny envelopes on an old wooden desk. I walk towards it and I notice how much they resemble those tiny envelopes that Aubrey prepared when Beca and I went to that little walk along memory lane. Unfortunately though, those tiny envelopes were carelessly thrown by Beca into the lake.

"Where's my popcorn?"

I abruptly turn around to see my girlfriend climbing in. Shit. Beca. The popcorn. I have totally forgotten about all of it.

"You know I can't get through a movie without it."

At first, I panic. But my favorite brunette is sporting a smirk on her face as she walks towards me, so I figure I'm already forgiven.

"So what are we doing up here?" she asks, intertwining our hands together.

I shrug my shoulders in response. "I was curious."

She shifts her gaze from my eyes to the tiny envelopes on the desk then sighs.

"It's supposed to be a surprise."

"What is?"

"I was so guilty that I threw those tiny envelopes that night. But I was feeling so much pain, I had to do it. It was a bittersweet memory for the two of us. No matter how painful that night ended, I know it's something worth remembering. So I asked Aubrey to write all those cards all over again. I'm supposed to give it to you in Rome."

I can't help but smile to the idea of it. Beca Mitchell is the most indifferent person I have ever met in my entire life and it just feels so heartwarming when she tries to do all these kinds of effort for me.

"We can pretend this never happened," I wink at her and she lets out a chuckle. "From this moment on, all I saw in this cute tree house of yours are your adorable collections."

"You haven't seen my favorite part here yet," she tells me, pulling me outside to the small balcony. There, I notice Chester leaned on the wall, then just above the guitar is a framed dried red rose hanging on a protruding nail. "_This _is my favorite of all."

I let my hands touch the glass frame, slowly realizing why this dried rose seems too familiar to me.

"Is this…"

"Yep," Beca nods her head. "That's the same rose you gave me back at the lake. It died when I had to let you go. But my dad saved it."

I turn to my side and see her smiling happily. I start smiling too. There's nothing else that could make me feel happier than a happy Beca herself. Now I'm beginning to take her side, movie marathon sucks so much… when I could just spend some time this way with the love of my life.

"I just remember," she squints her eyes and tilts her head to the side. "I never gave you that guitar lesson I promised."

Suddenly, I become so giddy and excited. I've been meaning to show her this. So I grab Chester with my free hand then pull Beca to sit down with me on the edge of the balcony. She gives me this questioning look, but I brush it off as I start playing the only song I've ever learned to play from Cynthia Rose. I have to do it a little slower than the normal tempo of the song though because let's face it, I'm certainly a beginner with this stuff. But still I see my girlfriend opens her mouth in surprise, the pleasant kind. I just can't help but giggle at the sight of it.

_"Give me more loving than I've ever had  
__Make it all better when I'm feeling sad  
__Tell me I'm special even when I know I'm not."_

Beca is now looking all too happy with my silly little performance so I guess I must be doing this thing right, huh?

"_Make it feel good when it hurts so bad  
__Barely get mad  
__I'm so glad I found you  
__I love being around you  
__You make it easy  
__As easy as 1-2-1…"_

"_There's only one thing to do,  
__Three words for you...  
__I love you  
__There's only one way to say those three words  
__And that's what I'll do...  
__I love you."_

I would have continued with my first ever live guitar performance, but Beca is already leaning in to kiss me. Okay, the second verse can totally wait. After all, she might be right, this might be the only chance that we get to do this passionately without the interruption of anybody.

"You are amazing," she whispers as we both close our eyes and brace for the sweet sensation that is about to happen.

"Hey, lovebirds!"

Aubrey's voice suddenly rings into my ears and I have to open my eyes to look at my best friend eyeing me from the ground, her arms folded on her chest. "Movie's over, let's all get some rest."

I hear Beca lets out an annoyed groan, and that means I have to hold her hand even tighter at least.

"I'm sorry, guys." I move my eyes towards the sliding door to the kitchen to find an apologetic Jesse. "I told her to just leave you two alone, but well, she's the boss of me."

"Come on, let's all get some sleep."

With that one last statement, Aubrey leaves with us another commanding look, an additional warning look at my girlfriend, before walking back to the house.

"I told you," Beca tells me. "We'll never find an alone time during this trip… especially with your evil best friend lurking around."

I laugh at her remarks, totally amused. Just when I thought my two favorite people in the planet could tolerate each other, they're back at getting on one another's nerves.

"She's _evil_ only towards you, baby. You should really feel special."

Even through the dark, I know Beca just rolled her eyes. I pull her up with me then am about to find the exit but only to be stopped by my girlfriend.

"What?"

She simply gives me a kiss on the cheek then smiles at me.

"I love you, Chloe," she says softly. "I love you, I love you, I love you… If you let me, I'd tell you that every single day just so you don't ever forget."

"Never," I shake my head firmly then smiles back at her, "because I'm just really in love with you too, Beca Mitchell."

With just the two of us now left here outside and no sign of Aubrey's return, I figure we could proceed with the interrupted kiss once again, and even without words I know Beca equally agrees with my idea because then she starts to lean in as well. Come on, universe, just one kiss! Just one kiss and we can all go to sleep.

But of course, the pouring rain is back to interrupt another perfect moment.

* * *

_And that's it... I guess you can say there's no room for angst here anymore :) well, except maybe on Stan's part... a little... or maybe that's just my imagination :)_

_Song: 1,2,3,4 - Plain White T's_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect.

_PS. Shameless plugging AGAIN: Check out my **new series, Stolen** :)_


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